Yep it’s that time again, the time to make fun of some of the recent news stories. I know you are all as excited as TSA agent when they see a small child so let’s get started.
Remember If You Don’t Support Cop Killers You Hate Children.
“Between negotiating for more benefits and teaching their students, the California Federation of Teachers has adopted a resolution of support for convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal.”
I don’t need more of a reason to hate teachers unions than I already do (I went to public school). But seriously this is what they are worried about? A fucking cop killer? The man was a racist and killed a cop over a traffic ticket and admitted to doing so. Well until he realized he had a thousand useful idiots out there that would back him and did want to ride the lightning changed his tune. I really don’t know how this guy hasn’t been executed yet other than bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit. Anyway, of all the things the teachers union could be worried about they are worried about this? 50% of our children can’t read or compute at their grade level and we are yelling about a convicted cop killer? For those of you who don’t remember how grades worked in school getting 50% on a test meant you failed. No matter how stupid, ignorant or crazy the demands of the teachers unions are any time you disagree with them their only answer is to scream about how much you must hate children and then they waste their time on this crap? How about this; if you want better pay and benefits show us the children are learning more and doing better in school and actually earn the higher paychecks. Right now all you are doing is crying like babies and running off on idiotic crusades to help cop killers. Also California is broke, the country is broke how much money do you think there really is to spend? I don’t hate teachers, although there are quite a few I did hate and I can honestly say most of the teachers I have had in my life dealing with the public schools were not very good with many being downright terrible, but I don’t hate them all. I can say I had 4 good teachers sadly it doesn’t sound as good when you remember I had 4 good ones during 12 years of schooling and each year of schooling I had at least 6 teachers. So for all the BS yelling about people hating children I look at it like this, if you support the teachers unions you are the ones who really hate children.
That and Mumia needs to get executed already.
Because Terrorists Have High Moral Standards
“Meet Nagla Al-Imam, an Egyptian lawyer who suggests a novel form of “resistance” for Palestinian “fighters” contra Israel: Sexually harass Israeli women.
Al-Iman assures us that this won’t lead to rape, because resistance fighters’ “morals” are much “loftier” than that. But even if it does, she says, Israeli women would have no “right” to be upset, for this would merely square them with the Palestinians whose land they rape. And “few things,” Al-Iman tells us “are as grave as the rape of land.”
You have to see it to believe it, folks.”
Yeah this would never lead to rape especially
since the only countries I know about that punish rape victims for being raped are run by Moslems since Moslems never rape anyone ever.
Or murder kids…
I love the part where she is asked by the reporter if this is will get people to break sexual harassment laws and she just basically say we don’t have any so who cares. She doesn’t even act like it’s a bad thing they don’t have any. This lady literally says that while she knows these “freedom fighter” have such high morals that they would never rape a woman (because the Islamists in Iran never raped women in prison so they wouldn’t have to execute a virgin for example), but if they did who cares and the woman because she is Israeli has no right to be upset. Yeah the woman deserved it for being Israeli. I really, really hate the Middle East.
“Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal – over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.
The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’
Yeah, sounds like a great idea asshole. You are such a piece of shit you cheated on your wife while she was dying of cancer and then you pull a bunch of illegal bullshit moves to try to hide it and what upsets you is the thought of going to jail and actually paying the consequences? You still have children, your children just lost their mother and you and going to kill yourself and make them orphans instead of spending a year or two in jail? I knew the guy was a piece of shit years ago but I didn’t know he was this bad (I’m not surprised though, I really wish I was, but I’m not). OK this might all be bullshit I don’t know if it is true but if it is fucking hell. The sad thing is the end of the article makes it sound like the person who wrote this is trying to make us feel bad for the guy. No, no I do not, in fact I feel even less bad than I already did for him. It doesn’t make me happy it just kinda makes me hate him, and I really don’t want to care about the fucker enough to hate him.
Apparently The U.N. Hasn’t Filled It’s Quotient Of Crazy This Month.
“UNITED NATIONS — Bolivia will this month table a draft United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans — having just passed a domestic law that does the same for bugs, trees and all other natural things in the South American country.
The bid aims to have the UN recognize the Earth as a living entity that humans have sought to “dominate and exploit” — to the point that the “well-being and existence of many beings” is now threatened.”
This reminds me of the term “Watermelon”. It’s someone who is green on the outside and red on the inside. Meaning it’s a communist using environmental issues to push communism. Especially since Bolivia’s laws specifically said they need to “end capitalism”. The funy thing about this is that we are talking about the U.N. Most of the member states of the U.N. are dictatorships with no freedom or human rights so are they going to give the earth the same rights they give their own people? I can’t wait till someone tries to say we are raping Mother Earth and Iran puts on trial for adultery and tries to stone her to death or China tries to throw Mother earth in Jail and execute her for saying something they don’t like and selling her organs on the black market. Maybe Saudi Arabia will try to execute Mother Earth for apostasy or Cuba might try to jail her for reactionary thought. The Sudan will try to sell her into slavery and England will bring her up on hate crimes charges for that natural disaster that hiss anyone who isn’t white. And we can all have a good time yelling at Mother Earth because she doesn’t distribute her natural resources evenly and bring her up on trial for that. It’s as if the U.N. is the longest running Monty Python sketch only it’s dead serious and there is always a chance it will get you killed, raped or starved to death.
Another question I has is if a natural disaster happens in a poor country do we charge Mother Nature with a hate crime or class warfare?
Obama Has The Worst Collection Of Pokemon.
“HONOLULU — The Honolulu Police Department confirmed that a close friend of President Barack Obama was arrested Monday in connection with a prostitution sting case.
Police arrested Bobby Titcomb, 49, a Punahou School classmate of Obama, at 9:40 p.m. in downtown Honolulu at the corner of Pohukaina and South streets. He was released after posting $500 bail, police said.
Police arrested four men in connection with a reverse prostitution sting involving a fake online female escort website, sources said.
The offense is considered a misdemeanor. Titcomb’s initial court appearance is scheduled May 2.
Titcomb usually spends the holidays with the president and his family when they spend time in Hawaii. He has been seen playing golf and attending picnics with the president.
The first family attended a barbecue at Ticomb’s Waialua home in December.”
There was the Racist, the Terrorist, the Communist what else does he need to collect them all?
Target Is A 13 Year Old Male In Possession Of A Tuna Sandwich And Some Pudding, Should I Take The Shot Sir?
“Chicago school bans some lunches brought from home
To encourage healthful eating, Chicago school doesn’t allow kids to bring lunches or certain snacks from home — and some parents, and many students, aren’t fans of the policy”
I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the schools to provide lunch for children it’s the parent’s job. This is where we all pause for a moment so you can yell about how much I hate children. OK now that we have that bullshit out of the way we can move on. I remember the lunches when I was in school and healthy wasn’t the first word I would use to describe them but I’m sure Chicago runs their school lunch programs better than they ran Cabrini-Green. I really don’t know if this is to take more control away from parents or just to line the pockets of the contractors that provide the school lunches (for a nice little donation during election time of course), but it doesn’t matter it’s wrong either way. Yeah some parents won’t take care of their children but unless the state is going to put them in a group home there isn’t much you can do about that. The thing is this is taking away the right of the parents that do take care of their children. I remember the packed lunches I got when my parents still made them for me. It was a sandwich (meat, cheese, lettuce, pickle and tomato) a small bag of chips/popcorn (oh noes!!!) and a piece of fruit (usually a banana, apple or orange). Sounds like I got all the food groups covered there. Then I switched to the school lunch program (because I was old enough to make my own lunch but was lazy so my parents just paid for the school lunch) and I ate pizza or nachos every day (because it was the only things they served that could be considered edible. Hell the school lunches we so small I would get two of them every day. Granted I never eat breakfast unless I work out in the morning so I always eat a large lunch but that doesn’t matter. I’m not fat, I never was fat. I wasn’t some health nut in school and only started to work out semi-regularly recently so that wasn’t why I wasn’t a fat ass as a kid. It was because my parents threw me outside and told me to play, so I did and as I got older I did other things like play drums (if you practice for a while it’s a good workout). If you are really worried about the kids make gym class more demanding that was the whole point if it to make kids get some exercise anyway so use it. Forcing kids to eat the terrible school lunches is putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb. You can tell yourself you are helping but you aren’t even pretending to get to the root of the problem. Hell the whole point of school lunches in the first place was to make sure the kids whose parents weren’t taking care of them wouldn’t go hungry at lunch time because their parents were too poor or lazy to make the kid lunch and now we are using more and more tax dollars to feed kids whose parents have the money to feed their kids. My tax dollars are going to feed the children of people that make more money than I do. One of the kids I went to school with father was and still is a US Congressman. Are you saying that kid needed the school to make him lunch or he would starve? He did however leave the school after 2 years to transfer to a private school because our school sucked bad and he had pissed off one of the local gang members that went there.
More from the article:
Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.
“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.
Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”
Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”
I like this kid.
“At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.
Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.”
Yes we must protect you from yourself, or your parents…
“Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.”
And part of that money helps line people’s reelection campaigns.
“At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.”
I know it’s a running joke that healthy food tastes bad but it’s not true. Everyone loves beef stew and it’s not that hard to use low-fat beef and put a lot of vegetables in there, make it nice and healthy and serve it over rice or pasta. Everyone loves stir-fry and it’s not that hard to make without using that much oil and it’s filled with healthy things. You want a healthy burrito? Throw in some black beans, lettuce, cheese, olives, onions, tomatoes and some rice and not only to you have a very good burrito but it tastes good and the kids would love it. But you won’t do that because you think burritos aren’t healthy. People act like the only thing you can eat is rice cakes and tofu burgers to eat healthy (at least 8% of rice cakes don’t taste like Styrofoam and ass, tofu on the other hand always tastes like shit). It’s bullshit. Hell you learn about the food pyramid in school and they can’t figure out how to use it to make healthy food that tastes good?
“For many CPS parents, the idea of forbidding home-packed lunches would be unthinkable. If their children do not qualify for free or reduced-price meals, such a policy would require them to pay $2.25 a day for food they don’t necessarily like.”
“We don’t spend anywhere close to that on my son’s daily intake of a sandwich (lovingly cut into the shape of a Star Wars ship), Goldfish crackers and milk,” education policy professor Diane Whitmore Schanzenbach wrote in an email. Her son attends Nettelhorst Elementary School in Lakeview. “Not only would mandatory school lunches worsen the dietary quality of most kids’ lunches at Nettelhorst, but it would also cost more out of pocket to most parents! There is no chance the parents would stand for that.”
Not only is this parent making her family is fed but she is taking the time to make it fun. Think about how much better a child is going to do in school when they know that they have that lunch made with love for them every day. It sounds a lot better than some grumpy lunch lady (it’s a stereotype I know but when I was in school it was 100% correct) dumping slop onto a tray.
I love the end of the article though.
“Many Little Village students claim that, given the opportunity, they would make sound choices.
“They’re afraid that we’ll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won’t be as good as what they give us at school,” said student Yesenia Gutierrez. “It’s really lame. If we could bring in our own lunches, everyone knows what they’d bring. For example, the vegetarians could bring in their own veggie food.”
“I would bring a sandwich or a Subway and maybe a juice,” said seventh-grader Ashley Valdez.
Second-grader Gerardo Ramos said, “I would bring a banana, orange and some grapes.”
“I would bring a juice and like a sandwich,” said fourth-grader Eric Sanchez.
“Sometimes I would bring the healthy stuff,” second-grader Julian Ruiz said, “but sometimes I would bring Lunchables.”
Is it always going to be that healthy? No. Who cares there is nothing wrong with a pizza, some fried chicken or a burger. You just eat more than just that. Sometimes you want a salad and sometimes you want hot-wings and there is nutritional value in both and there are things you get in one you can’t get in the other. That’s why we have the food pyramid because you need it all, you just need it in the proper amounts. Yesterday I have fried chicken, mash potatoes and green beans with bacon for lunch. For dinner I had a very large salad. I got everything I needed (other than the grains since I don’t think the breading is enough to qualify for the whole serving) but I live. The other day I had a half a bag of potato chips and a giant bowl of broccoli for dinner. Yeah my eating habits are weird but I get what I need. See parents know what their children will eat. They know the kid won’t eat brussel sprouts but they will eat green beans, carrots or corn. I didn’t eat brussel sprouts or asparagus when I was a kid (I do now) but I loved broccoli and mixed vegetables as long as there wasn’t any types of squash or mushrooms in it (still won’t eat either). And every kid will eat a fruit cup just as fast as they would eat Jell-o or pudding. Parents know this and they know what their kid will eat and how to get them to eat healthy food yet for some reason the people running the school (many who have children) can’t figure this shit out.
I hate to admit when a dirty hippy is at least a little right but in this case I will. Go to this link and it gives a nice suggestion on making a kid a healthy lunch they will eat (you don’t need to use the organic/free-range/overpriced whatever they want you to though. It’s about the bento boxes (they are not usually as fancy as the ones on the last link though) they have in Japan and a little bit on how to make them on your own. The idea of a bento is that it’s a box with several compartments that you put different foods in and it is a common lunch thing in Japan. I eat them quite often for lunch. It’s usually a main dish, some rice, a vegetable, some pickles and some fruit but there are a lot of different varieties, I like the tonkatsu (it’s fried and breaded pork cutlet with this awesome sauce called tonkatsu sauce – the best being the Bulldog brand) or meat loaf ones. There are ones made to be hot and ones made to be cold. Either way, they are good and you can make them with different leftovers to save money.
After I wrote all this I say something that said the Principle in question backtracked and said she was taken out of context or that she didn’t mean to say what it sounded like she said. It sounds more like when a bunch of people got angry she tried to back herself out of it.
Wendy’s Has New Fries And In Other News The Reporter May Have Been Paid To Plug A Different Food Joint In this Article.
“When Wendy’s (NYSE: WEN – News) created its Natural Cut Fries With Sea Salt, which it introduced last fall and is now promoting in new TV ads this week, the company’s product development team found a way to leave the potato skins on, make the fries crispier and give them a much tastier flavor. What they didn’t manage to do, however, is make the fries an actual all-natural product. That, says CMO Ken Calwell, would be too difficult given fast food customers’ demands for items that are cheap and can be hoisted through a car window.”
Last time I checked Fark.com has a whole section on advertisements masquerading as news. This is one of those things. The thing about it is why the lady that wrote the article keeps mentioning Five Guys as if they are either the greatest thing on the planet or the standard to what all food should be held too. That or she got paid a bunch of money by Five Guys to act like that. Now for the record I have never eaten at Five Guys and honestly I’m apathetic towards them. Wendy’s on the other hand I have eaten and do like their food. I even worked at a Wendy’s years ago (yes I worked at one and will still eat their food). To me they are one of the better fast food joints but their fries always were a problem. The problem with their fries was that half the time they were a little undercooked for my tastes. Now when they were cooked long enough that they were all crunchy they were some of the best fast food fries you could get but a lot of time you had the undercooked kinda soggy ones and they just kind of sucked that way (as do all fries). But oh how I love a triple and a large chili. I haven’t been able to try the new fries because they don’t have Wendy’s in Japan anymore so I can’t say if the new ones are better or not. My problem with this article is that the reporter sounded like she wrote this article more to plug Five Guys rather than talk about the new Wendy’s fries. I really want to say that Wendy’s having new fries isn’t news but at least this is in the financial part of Yahoo News so we can at least say it has some merit to people that are either investing in Wendy’s or thinking about it, but when it all comes down to it aren’t we all going to get the same information from the next commercial break?
Right Now There Is A Cop Drunk Dialing Your Girlfriend And A Sniveling Little Bureaucrat Touching Himself For Thinking This Whole Thing Up.
“Michigan: Police Search Cell Phones During Traffic Stops
ACLU seeks information on Michigan program that allows cops to download information from smart phones belonging to stopped motorists.
The Michigan State Police have a high-tech mobile forensics device that can be used to extract information from cell phones belonging to motorists stopped for minor traffic violations. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Michigan last Wednesday demanded that state officials stop stonewalling freedom of information requests for information on the program.
ACLU learned that the police had acquired the cell phone scanning devices and in August 2008 filed an official request for records on the program, including logs of how the devices were used. The state police responded by saying they would provide the information only in return for a payment of $544,680. The ACLU found the charge outrageous.
“Law enforcement officers are known, on occasion, to encourage citizens to cooperate if they have nothing to hide,” ACLU staff attorney Mark P. Fancher wrote. “No less should be expected of law enforcement, and the Michigan State Police should be willing to assuage concerns that these powerful extraction devices are being used illegally by honoring our requests for cooperation and disclosure.”
A US Department of Justice test of the CelleBrite UFED used by Michigan police found the device could grab all of the photos and video off of an iPhone within one-and-a-half minutes. The device works with 3000 different phone models and can even defeat password protections.
“Complete extraction of existing, hidden, and deleted phone data, including call history, text messages, contacts, images, and geotags,” a CelleBrite brochure explains regarding the device’s capabilities. “The Physical Analyzer allows visualization of both existing and deleted locations on Google Earth. In addition, location information from GPS devices and image geotags can be mapped on Google Maps.”
The ACLU is concerned that these powerful capabilities are being quietly used to bypass Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches.”
And every time I yell about the encroaching Orwellian state we are all trying to get to people call me paranoid. I can’t wait till politicians and other state officials try to track down people that have their daughter’s phone numbers. I can just see how that would go.
Police Officer: So tell me Mr. Smythe why do you have a Kathy Johnson’s phone number in your phone?
Kyle Smythe: Um, what is this about officer?
PO: Just answer the question kid before you end up like you little friend Jimmy there!
KM: Please officer, I didn’t do anything we have a group project due next week and needed to exchange numbers with the groups!
(Officer slaps child)
PO: Don’t lie to me boy do you know who Miss Johnson is!? Do you!?
(Child is crying)
KM: Please officer, stop hitting me… We have social studies 5th period and Mrs. Nguyen has us doing a group project on Mesopotamia…
PO: Well Senator Johnson seems to think otherwise?
PO: So am I to assume that you are just doing a “group project” with Miss. Johnson even though your parents voting record shows they voted for Senator Johnsons rival in the last election?
KM: Sir, I’m 14, I don’t pay attention to that stuff.
(Officer slaps child)
PO: Shut up and tell me why your parents donated 50 bucks to Senator Johnson’s rival in the last election and don’t lie to me boy!
KM: Because apparently you and Senator Johnson are a bunch of fascist assholes and if I knew about this then I’d have told them to donate a lot more and spent less time playing X-Box and more time with the crazy militia guys that hang out in Baker’s Woods.
(Child passes out from blow to the head and scene fades to a picture of Kyle being led into a camp called Sunshine Farms Youth Reeducation Center).
So Does This Mean White People Can Get In On The Affirmative Action Policies Or Are They Still Not Allowed To Trick Or Treat At That House?
“New census data confirm that some major metropolitan areas flipped from majority white to majority populations of minorities during the past decade.
White people are now in the minority in 46 of the nation’s 366 metro areas, including New York, Washington, San Diego, Las Vegas and Memphis, said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution.”
One thing I think is silly about this whole thing is they lump everyone that isn’t white into the same category of “Minority”, hell they even lump people that are white into the non-white (or minority) category like many Hispanics who are or 100% European decent but are somehow different than someone from Italy or Greece considering they are all of Mediterranean decent but the last two are jumped into the white (non-minority) category and the first into the minority category. Anything to divide us I guess.
Honestly I could care less as long as they don’t vote for Progressives.
Out Of Fear That Nerds Might Try To Declare A Mulligan On History And Travel Back In Time To Support the Kuomintang China Bans Science Fiction Staple.
“Hong Kong, China (CNN) – China has been cracking down on dissent of late, as the recent detainment of artist Ai Weiwei suggests.
But the latest guidance on television programming from the State Administration of Radio Film and Television in China borders on the surreal – or, rather, an attack against the surreal.
New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”
“The government says … TV dramas shouldn’t have characters that travel back in time and rewrite history. They say this goes against Chinese heritage,” reports CNN’s Eunice Yoon. “They also say that myth, superstitions and reincarnation are all questionable.”
The Chinese censors seem to be especially sensitive these days. But for the television and film industry, such strictures would seem to eliminate any Chinese version of “Star Trek,” “The X-Files,” “Quantum Leap” or “Dr. Who.” And does that mean rebroadcast of huge Hollywood moneymakers like “Back to the Future” and the “Terminator” series are now forbidden?”
All I can think is that the Chinese government thought that if people think to hard about time travel they might get crazy ideas like what would happen if we all went back in time and stopped the communists from taking over and murdering tens of millions of us and oppressing the ones that managed to live. Also since the last thing a communist is, is sane, they might be worried that some poor dissident might get so engrossed in the concept of time travel he ends up finding a way to do it and does the world a favor by beating to death Mao Zedong to death on his 18th birthday and does the entire world and the Chinese people a huge favor. He’d be the best superhero ever. Think about it he could call himself The Vigilante of Time and it could be a TV show. It would be if Quantum Leap was about a Chinese guy jumping through time putting a bullet in the head of every shithead who ever needed it before they got a chance to be the bastard they would grow up to be. I’d watch that show. Hell I have no idea why that show hasn’t already been made. If this show is ever made I don’t want any money for the idea just give me a mention in the credits and make sure you have episodes where they take out Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Hitler. Also one where they stop they guy who invented Auto-Tune (he doesn’t have to die just stop the invention).
And Duke University Still Has Their Fingers In Their Ears While Yelling “La, La La, I Can’t Hear You”.
Durham, N.C. — Family members of a man who was stabbed in his home April 3 say he died Wednesday evening. Crystal Mangum, the Durham woman who falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape in 2006, has been charged with assaulting him.
“Durham police confirmed Thursday morning that Reginald Daye, 46, had died.
“The case remains under investigation, and we do anticipate upgrading the charges. However, no new charges have been filed at this time,” police spokeswoman Kammie Michael said in an e-mail to WRAL News.
Police said Mangum, 32, stabbed Daye in the torso with a kitchen knife during a dispute at 3507 Century Oaks Drive early on April 3…
In February 2010, police arrested Mangum after an altercation between her and a different boyfriend. In that incident, she was accused of assaulting the man in front of her children and setting some of his clothes on fire.
She was later convicted of child abuse, injury to personal property and resisting a public officer in the case, but prosecutors dismissed an arson charge after a jury couldn’t reach a verdict.”
You know if they had just locked her up for the first round of bullshit this might not have happened. Granted I don’t know how long a jail sentence you get for false accusations are (and even though I’m on the internets right now I’m not looking it up) but it might have at least stopped for a bit the progression of her offenses. I wonder if Mike Nifong is punching himself in the face right now. If he isn’t he should be.
I hate it here.