Chris Matthews Forgets Obama Is Black

“Five little words — “I forgot he was black” — have exposed a contradiction in the idea of a post-racial nation.

The comment came from MSNBC host Chris Matthews after President Barack Obama’s State of the Union speech Wednesday.

“He is post-racial, by all appearances,” the liberal host said on the air. “I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. You know, he’s gone a long way to become a leader of this country, and past so much history, in just a year or two. I mean, it’s something we don’t even think about.”

The staunch Obama supporter meant it as praise, but it caused a rapid furor, with many calling the quote a troubling sign that blackness is viewed — perhaps unconsciously — as a handicap that still needs to be overcome.

Apparently, Matthews forgot to ask black people if they WANT to be de-raced.”

First off I would like to say that if Matthews really “forgot he was black” he would not have mentioned the fact that Obama is black (or part black anyway) in the first place.  Because he would have really forgot, or in reality would not have thought about it anyway and not said anything about it.  This comment is idiotic on so, so many levels.

So it’s the post-racial America, and because of that you forgot the president is black, but remembered he was black long enough to realize you had forgotten he was black since he wasn’t robbing you for crack rock, something that might indicate that he was in fact black?  Does that about sum up all the stupid or is there more in there I’m missing?

Now before anyone else wants to get annoyed by the racism – intentional or otherwise – in this comment just remember this;  Matthews is an idiot, you don’t get angry with a baby for shitting it’s pants right? So there is no point in getting angry at Matthews for saying something this stupid.

I have some questions about this whole mess:

1.  While we are on the subject of people forgetting Obama is black does anyone still remember he is also white?

2.  Is it really “post-racial America” if we keep bringing up race every 5 seconds?



I hate it here…


Quote Of The Day

And There’s a sign…  You have read it I assume, You know?  The sign that says “Do not, under any circumstances, open this door”?

Of course I’ve read it, why d’yer think I want it opened?

Er… why?

To see why they wanted it shut, of course.*

*This exchange contains almost all you need to know about human civilization.  At least the bits of it that are now under the sea, fenced off or still smoking.

I love this.  It’s from the book Hogfather by Terry Pratchett.  I think if anyone ever made a collection of the best quotes ever written it would be almost entirely comprised of quotes from Terry Pratchett, P. J. O’Rourke, Thomas Sowell and myself (because I think I’m funny and insightful).

For people who have read the book you might have noticed I removed a few things, you might also have noticed I have removed nothing that would change the joke in any way,  so don’t even start with the Nerd Rage.

All The News I Felt Like Talking About. And Making Fun Of.

Brothels, Gambling, Organized Crime, Who Cares About That, I think That Kid Over There Has On A Leather Jacket And Might Get A Tattoo!!!

“Japanese youth, hassled by haiku”

Woohoo poetic guilt trips!

Please do not discard

Your empty cans or fag ends

Or morality

Japan’s remorseless finger-wagging now comes in haiku form. This one appeared yesterday on a municipal billboard on a Tokyo street boasting two brothels, an illegal mah-jong parlour and a yakuza money laundry. But these are not the target of the poetic puritans — instead, as ever, it is young people and their ne’er-do-well ways.

Japan’s under-18s have a dismal lot. They are well behaved and hard working despite monstrous betrayal by their elders. Soon after they are out of nappies, the young are “offered” a deal: work hard, make yourself sick chasing a job you will hate and spend your life paying off the world’s biggest public debt as the most selfish generation in human history enjoys its dotage.

And the framers of this one-sided contract reserve the right to blame the young for every social ill out there. This invariably takes the form of a national moraru (moral) or mannaa (manners) drive.”

The sad thing about this is that my dad sent this to me so there is a very good chance he showed it to my mother.  I just can’t wait to hear this haiku next time I visit:

Why not married yet

I want more grandkids now

Don’t you love me, son?

Now I Know Why They Keep Their Woman In Full Garbage Bags

“RIYADH — Health authorities in Jeddah have shut down an “illegal” women’s fitness centre attached to a hospital, closing one of the few venues where Saudi women are able to exercise, local media said on Wednesday.

Although health officials have repeatedly blamed the high rates of heart disease and diabetes in the kingdom on poor diets and lack of exercise, health authorities said women’s fitness centres were not allowed…

While gyms for men in the gender-segregated conservative Islamic society are permitted, women’s health clubs are forbidden, despite a clear demand shown by a surge in underground facilities in the past two years.”

Yes it is illegal for woman to have gyms in Saudi Arabia.  They can’t even have gyms just for woman to keep them from the men they just can’t have them.  Does Saudi Arabia have any laws that are not batshit insane?  Really I know you use Islam for the basis for a lot of your crazy laws and I understand that Islam has a tendency towards the insane considering it was invented by a pedophile warlord but come the fuck on people.  I really don’t think there is anything in the Koran that says a woman can’t do a little cardio a couple times a week.  Even Scientology lets you go to the gym, why not you guys?

I Would Understand If It Was A Twilight Novel But A Cell-phone?

“A 13-year-old Saudi schoolgirl is to be given 90 lashes in front of her classmates after she was caught with a mobile camera phone.

The girl, who has not been named, was also sentenced to two months in jail by a court in the eastern city of Jubail.”

Oh, right it’s Saudi Arabia again.  It all makes sense now.  Has Saudi Arabia produced anything that wasn’t either oil or fucking insane?  I seriously think it’s were crazy was invented.

And The “No Shit” Award Goes To…

“World saw declines in freedom in 2009, think tank finds”

At least it wasn’t just us…

“Washington (CNN) — The unsolved murder of human rights activists in Russia. Their detention, torture and murder in Iran. Their jailing in China and Vietnam.

Attacks on journalists in the Philippines, Pakistan, Mexico and Somalia.

Coups in Africa and Central America.

All isolated incidents around the world that together made 2009 a grim milestone in world freedom, according to a United States think tank that tracks liberty around the globe.

Declines in freedom around the world outweighed gains last year, for the fourth year in a row, Freedom House says in its annual survey published Tuesday.

“This represents the longest continuous period of deterioration in the nearly 40-year history” of the report, writes this year’s author, Arch Puddington.

There were only 116 electoral democracies around the world in 2009, the group found — the lowest number since 1995…

Declines in freedom around the world outweighed gains last year, for the fourth year in a row, Freedom House says in its annual survey published Tuesday.”

I think they forgot Obama’s czars and the fact our Constitution barely means shit to our “leaders”, but at least we know we aren’t alone in this spiral into shit.

Is still working so I can report myself?

If You Kill Yourself You Can Make The Movie Stop

“James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.”

Oh, wait it’s not because the movie is nothing but 8 hours of mind numbing propaganda you want to get away from any way you can (including suicide), it’s because they actually believe the shit.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ”

Come the fuck on it’s a movie and a bad one at that!!!
“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

Really?  Please for the love of god you need to get help!  The movie barely has a plot except for what they stole from fern gully, Pocahontas and Dances With Wolves, then they turned it into a rape fantasy.   The only message in this movie is:

1.  We had pretty pictures (but are still behind almost every video game made in the last 5 years) and no original plot.

2.  Humans are evil.

3.  It’s wrong to rape the planet through mining but it is completely OK to rape every animal and plant on the planet as long as you say it’s spiritual or something.

Seriously, fuck this movie.

Crazy, I love Crazy

“Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said his country suffered after invasions during World War II and he will “stand to the end” to get full compensation, the Jerusalem Post reported.

Ahmadinejad said he’d write to U.N. secretary General Ban Ki-moon to ask for compensation for damages caused to Iran during the war, and for use of its territory and resources by allied powers, the Post reported.”

Did you do anything to help stop the Nazis?  Oh, wait you didn’t and in fact your government while technically neutral supported Germany in WWII?  Oh, sounds like I could give a fuck about your little claims for compensation.  Really, it was a World War, shit happens and you did nothing of any use.  I bet if I said the Shah needed compensation you wouldn’t like that now would you?  Really fuck your demands Alamadamadingdong?

It gets better though:

“Ahmadinejad reportedly also warned that Iran may demand similar compensation for the first World War.”

Yes Alamadamadingdong wants compensation for Iran for the first World War.  Um… Last time I checked Iran was part of the Ottoman Empire in WWI, so why don’t they try to get their compensation from them?  Oh wait it was only because of WWI that the Ottoman Empire fell allowing Iran a chance to become Iran.  And even with that you where still on the losing side, next time fight harder bitches!  Still what about the Shah?

I hate it here…

Mary Jo Kopechne Endorses Scott Brown For Ted Kennedy’s Old Senate Seat

For those too young or ignorant to get the joke  Mary Jo Kopechne is the woman Ted Kennedy left at the bottom of a tidal channel on Chappaquiddick Island and somehow got away with her murder by accident…  Wait Ted’s dead, can we all come out and admit he was responsible for her death and should have been locked up for it instead of being rewarded with 47 years in the Senate now? Brown would be the Republican running for Ted’s old Senate seat considered by the Democrats as his seat because he held it for 47 years as I have mentioned earlier.  Martha Coakley is the Democrat running for the seat and using Ted’s memory to score political points

Now think about it.

Thanks Nose On Your Face

Is it wrong to make fun of Ted Kennedy now he is rotting in hell carried up to heaven by Health Care loving angels?  Read this and you have my answer.

UPDATE: Brown won, I guess the Democrats did quite own that seat.  For added fun watch this:

H/T Doctor Bulldog and Ronin

Stop Anthropogenic Global Cooling

Due to the catastrophic effects of Anthropogenic Global Cooling (or AGC) I am now selling Carbon.  That’s right folks since I know people don’t have the time to go out of their way to increase their Carbon Footprint in order to combat AGC and keep the planet from turning into an ice cube so I will be taking it on myself to produce the Carbon for you, for a small fee of course (because I care, about money, and you’re stupid the planet).  This way you can go back to driving your Prius or riding a bike and not feal guilty about your lack of a suitable Carbon Footprint that is destroying our planet.  I know you have been taken in before from people screaming about the environmental impacts on the earth before, but I’m legit, not like those AGW people who have been lying to you for years to steal your money.  They kept telling you about Global Warming and that you had to give them your money but it wasn’t true, we know now that a new Ice Age is at hand and we need to stop it.   I’m going to do something about our problems and save our planet.

How I will use your money to increase Carbon in the atmosphere to prevent AGC:

A.  I will buy several SUV’s and any 8 cylinder car made before 1973 and keeps them running at all times.

B.  I will pave over half the Rain Forest and turn the other half into grazing land for flatulent cattle.

C.  I will give Al Gore and Obama (making sure his teleprompter nevers turns off) crystal meth. Because no one loves to hear themselves talk more then them, other than maybe Hugo Chavez thus increasing the CO2 output from their mouths by 150%.  Yes they are already annoying enough but it’s for the children…  Sorry planet.

D.  I will buy a large coal mine and light it on fire.  Those things burn for years and will give us a steady supply of the rich carbon we need to stave off AGC.

E.  I will punch holes in every single condom on the planet thus ensuring that the world will soon be overpopulated and all the Carbon Footprint goodness that comes with it.  Additionally I will get the CIA to finally release the cures for Cancer and HIV so people can just keep on humping without consequence.

F.  I will help promote an international diet of nothing but red meat, burritos and curry (do I really need to explain this one?).

G.  I will make sure every hippy gets tear gassed twice a day.  I really don’t know how this will help but it’s not like they don’t need it.  Plus nothing gets me centered and feeling good than watching hippies get abused, without that little bit of happiness in life there is always a chance I will stop trying to help save the world and end up blowing the whole thing up.  Really think of it like my own personal Prozac.

H.  I will try to end all recycling programs and all landfills.  All trash needs to be burned to help keep up the carbon in the atmosphere.  The burning will include all trash.  That would be everything, plastics, food waste, old refrigerators, Michael Moore, and the Twilight series.  Before you start bitching; yes I know burning books is bad but really who is going to care in this case,13 year old girls? Really, it’s not like their opinions matter.  If I gave a shit about what 13 year old girls thought I would read the Daily Kos or watch Keith Olbermann.  But I don’t, so I don’t.

I.  Since burning things will help stop AGC we should also burn down the United Nations building (with everyone still in it), this will have two good points.  1. Burning released carbon and that will help stop AGC and two I can’t think of anything that will make the world a better place than getting rid of those fucking rapists, thieves and leeches.  Seriously, I think other than Islam and Marxism the UN might be one of the worlds biggest threats.

J.  I will also use you donations and payments to force scientist to agree with me by buying off the Media and accusing anyone who tries to claim Anthropogenic Global Cooling isn’t real as a Holocaust Denier.  only unlike when the Anthropogenic Global Warming crowd did it we are telling the true (to power).

So now that you have seen the good work that will be done with your donations and or payments to my new business I know you want to send me money now.  So please make out your checks and send them to:

The Stop Anthropogenic Global Cooling Coalition
P.O. Box 1331
4-2-8 Shiba-Koen, Minato-ku
Tokyo, Japan 105-0011

Remember Anthropogenic Global Cooling is the biggest threat facing the Earth today and our coalition is much, much more honest than Al Gore and the Nigerian Prince you met online last week.

A Way To Stop Gerrymandering: Another Way To Fix The Federal Government

So a friend an I were at a bar a couple weeks ago, I know regular readers of this blog would be shocked I was in a bar or had friends (one of those is sarcasm) talking about politics and ways to fix the government (because that’s what we do at bars, and might be why neither one of us has a girlfriend).  Anyway both of us are in agreement that the two party system needs to be destroyed and the power any political party has over the national debate or over any politician should be limited and while talking about Gerrymandering and how they create Congressional Districts and he, in a moment of scotch soaked brilliance, came up with a very decent plan for ending the Gerrymandering of Congressional Districts.  See many districts are arranged in a way to ensure that only one party will ever get elected or so a certain ethnic or racial group will always be in control.  This guarantee of power is not appropriate and is another problem in the US system.  I don’t like the idea of racial politics and they have no place in a society that is supposed to be color blind (yes some people are not but racism is wrong no matter who does it and we cannot smile and let anyone get away with it).  Identity Politics is inherently harmful to any society because we can never truly live as one nation as we segregate ourselves into smaller and smaller groups all the while antagonistic to any who are not part of the group.  OK I have gone over before my dislike for Identity Politics before and how I don’t care about race, gender, class or any other things we feel the need to use to distance ourselves from every one else and this isn’t about that.  It’s about Congressional Districts.

See in order to stop Gerrymandering we need to take the power to decide how Districts are divided up out of the hands of people who only want to use it for political gain (ie. every politician in the country) and put in into the hands of something that won’t or can’t try to game the system, a computer program.  After the Census is taken the number of people in each state is divided by the number of seats avaliable and you get average number of people each District should hold taking into account that it cannot always be even State to State.  Then after figuring out how many Districts each State is entitled to you begin dividing up the State into Districts using Zip Codes the number of people in the Zip Code and the proximity of Zip Codes to one another.  What this does is make sure that outside forces can’t pick and chose portions to make sure they can get reelected but also still have Districts that are represented by and voted for by people in a common geographical area.  Now since the program only tabulates population and geographical area it sometimes break up Minority and even Majority Districts (as in the White vs. Not White or Republican vs. Democratic sense, it also breaks up Districts that might be made up of one city because it might cut it in chunks and put them with other Districts) it’s not a problem because it forces the people running for the local District actually try to win the vote and really represent the people that live there.  Is this a perfect solution?  No, but it’s better than what we have now. What this does is takes the politics out of Redistricting and only relies on geography and numbers.  This also makes it easier for Third party candidates to get elected because the District isn’t automatically made so that either a Democrat or Republican will get elected.  Now that isn’t always going to be the case, sometimes it will still be a majority Democratic District but that will be because it just happened to work out that way rather than it was an intentional move on the part of politicians (aka, scum) to keep themselves in power and other parties out of power.

My friend who thought this up said that in order to make sure that this could be made and made well we should pay the people who could figure it out at least 4 times the going rate for creating a computer program, “Yeah we are over paying them like hell but it would be worth it in the end” he said.  I could not disagree with him on that.  One of the points I brought up why people would be against it  was that it might destroy many Minority Districts and since unfortunately Identity Politics – particularly Ethnic Politics –  is so prevalent in our system that many people would be against this for fear of losing power.  Both of us could have cared less because being Black or White or whatever else isn’t a political philosophy and while race might explain skin color while ethnicity might explain the food you grew up on it doesn’t control how you think and if it does you have bigger problems.  People should be elected on the power of their ideas and the strength of their arguments not the color of their skin and that is how it should be.  If you don’t like that I don’t care, but America is a nation of hypocrites.  It’s OK for a Black man to vote for a Black man because he is Black but if a White man does it it’s wrong.  No! It’s always wrong, at all times it’s wrong, no exceptions.  But some people do it, they vote only for people of their own race, or gender or class and they get angry when someone who isn’t part of their group does the same thing for theirs.  A  nation of hypocrites, welcome to America son, but I’m not going to play that game and the rest of you need to do the same.  Be an individual, a real one, not the bullshit kind that says it doesn’t matter that your skin or hair color is, job, how many tattoos you have or religion as long as you all think the same.  No be a real individual be you, and that’s it, find out who you are, in your own head and what you really think and believe because everything else doesn’t really matter and everything else is just silly.

Anywhoo, back to the point, we need to make this computer program and now.  It won’t fix everything but it’s a good start and along with my many brilliant ideas (some helped on by my many barroom conversations with my friend) for fixing the bullshit that is the Federal Government we might have a chance of saving this country from the bastards in DC and well, ourselves.

This is basically an addendum to an earlier post about fixing DC but I had more to say on this on and it came later.

I hate it here.

It’s Time To Stop Global Warming… Could Someone Please Get Me Another Coat?

So on the Global Warming front the world is showing record high temperatures this winter with the heat wave showing no signs of abating any time soon.  So these are some headlines from the top of the Drudge Report right now showing the catastrophe of this heat wave:

Winter Could Be Worst in 25 Years for USA…
Britain braced for heaviest snowfall in 50-years…
Elderly burn books for warmth?
Vermont sets ‘all-time record for one snowstorm’…
Iowa temps ‘a solid 30 degrees below normal’…
Seoul buried in heaviest snowfall in 70 years….
Midwest Sees Near-Record Lows, Snow By The Foot…
Miami shivers from coldest weather in decade…

Oh, wait…  Did I say global warming?  Maybe all the people in the 60’s and 70’s talking about the next ice age were right?  Oh, wait all those guys are talking about Global Warming now…

Or are really cold temperatures evidence of Global Warming, that makes sense right.  It’s really cold out -record breaking cold – so the Earth must be warming up and it’s all mankind’s fault, right?  It’s the CO2, that’s it, all that natural CO2 that makes it so warm out, never mind the fact that CO2 levels rise following periods of warming not before, but I need my grant money.  Also please pay no attention whatsoever to the fact that Mars (that as far as I know doesn’t have evil people polluting the hell out of it) was also warming at the same rate that they said the Earth was.  I think it had something to do with those Sun Cycles we are not supposed to mention in the polite company of the people trying to scam money out of us or we would get accused of denying the Holocaust.  I need my grants and my Carbon Credit money!

Wait, I’m sorry it’s not Global Warming it’s Climate Change now, that way when people realize they have been had on the “Earth is going to burn up and it’s all our fault thing” we can still blame everything on mankind, still get our grant money and it doesn’t look like quite as big of a lie.  In the spring when the temperatures start to rise again we can go right back to talking about Global Warming as if it wasn’t either a natural cycle in the Earths history (because the Earth never warmed or cooled before people invented the SUV).  Seriously how many Global Warming conferences have been snowed out in the last couple years?  Maybe we should bring them all up on Racketeering charges?

Seriously I hate it here, and it’s fucking cold out…