Hi, I Named My Child Guinea Pig Because That is What I’m Using It For.

“Parents keep child’s gender secret”

So these idiots that claim to be parents are trying to “raise a genderless baby”.  Why the fucking hell would you do that?  The kid has either an XX or and XY at the fucking genetic code don’t they?  It’s not genderless you just want to experiment with a fucking child – your fucking child –  to make some fucking idiotic socio-political point.    What the fucking shit-hell is wrong with mother-rapist assholes on this planet?

“Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating.”

No, no you are fucking not doing that you are fucking with their heads.  Let me explain something you shit-heels missing in your fucking 3rd grad science class.  Baring a genetic abnormality you, as a fucking human, or I don’t fucking know a mammal are either male or female.   You know fuckwad, XX/XY chromosome, like genetics and DNA and shit like that?  You are not fighting some concept like the socially designated ideals of what a male or female should be you are fucking fighting the concept of genetics itself.   Do you have a uterus and can carry a child?  What no you don’t you might not be a woman and no matter how much you try to tell yourself you are one you aren’t jackass!!!  People do need to learn how to be comfortable with themselves and shit like that but when you tell someone to ignore their own genetics you aren’t fucking doing that you are fucking with their fucking head you fucking crapshit little bitches!  And these are fucking children!!!  Congratulations you hippie ass-sucking scum fucks you and destroying the mind of a child.  If your daughter wants to play sports and study math while your son wants to be a poet and design clothing fucking hell yes you fucking encourage them to do that fucking happy horse shit but you don’t fuck with their biology.  You are heretics to science and nature.    You are going to raise a fucking serial killer.  This isn’t about sexuality.  If you are a homosexual you are still a male or female that happens to like to fuck someone of the same gender.  You cannot, no matter how much you want to try, change your fucking gender since no matter what you do you cannot fucking change your DNA, and if we could do it you fucking shouldn’t.

I fucking understand that these people are fucking morons considering this quote from the article about the family  “Last year, they spent two weeks in Cuba, living with local families and learning about the revolution.”  Yeah we all love the revolution especially the fucking part where it took the country with the second largest GDP in the western hemisphere to one of the last in a matter of fucking months.  Barring all the mass murder and oppression lets fucking celebrate that with our mentally abused children!  You fucks would probably do less harm to your children if you forced them you watch you fellate sheep every Tuesday.  No instead you try to make them uncomfortable with their own biology for you own socio-political ideology.

Look asslickers gender cannot be changed.  It’s not a social construct it’s fucking biology.  If you have a son who would rather paint than play fucking hockey buy him art supplies and tell him to paint.  I remember being a little llama and what my parents did.  They gave me a hockey stick, a bb-gun, a set of colored pencils and oil paints, a chemistry set and then made me learn to play several instruments.  A person (or llama in my case) is only well rounded (no matter what the gender) if it experiences it all but it is their choice on what to focus on.  However no matter their interest they are still biologically male or female and you can’t fucking change that.  However you can fuck with someone’s mind so much they don’t know what the fucking shit is going the fuck on. Gender is important but not important how people what to make it or unimportant how fucking dumpster babies what to make it.  Gender matters because we need strong men and strong women to show our children what strong men and strong women should be like.   Fucking hell bitches we already have the concept of the “mama bear” so it’s not like we only think the father will kill us when we fuck with their family.  Boys need a strong father to show them what a man is supposed to be and a strong mother to show them what a woman is supposed to be, girls need the same thing.  This isn’t as I said about sexuality.  It’s not about what hole you happen to prefer fucking, it’s about gender.  You have an XX or an XY (genetic abnormalities not withstanding).  To deny gender is to deny nature.  We should all be warriors and we should all be artists, but you are still either a male or fucking female.  Leave children out of your stupid fucking crusades you herpes smuggling ass eaters!

 

 

Llama out bitches…

News Clips From Around The World Of Stupid

Yep it’s that time again, the time to make fun of some of the recent news stories.  I know you are all as excited as TSA agent when they see a small child so let’s get started.

Remember If You Don’t Support Cop Killers You Hate Children.

“Between negotiating for more benefits and teaching their students, the California Federation of Teachers has adopted a resolution of support for convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal.”

I don’t need more of a reason to hate teachers unions than I already do (I went to public school).  But seriously this is what they are worried about?  A fucking cop killer?  The man was a racist and killed a cop over a traffic ticket and admitted to doing so.  Well until he realized he had a thousand useful idiots out there that would back him and did want to ride the lightning changed his tune.  I really don’t know how this guy hasn’t been executed yet other than bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit.  Anyway, of all the things the teachers union could be worried about they are worried about this?  50% of our children can’t read or compute at their grade level and we are yelling about a convicted cop killer?  For those of you who don’t remember how grades worked in school getting 50% on a test meant you failed.   No matter how stupid, ignorant or crazy the demands of the teachers unions are any time you disagree with them their only answer is to scream about how much you must hate children and then they waste their time on this crap?  How about this; if you want better pay and benefits show us the children are learning more and doing better in school and actually earn the higher paychecks.  Right now all you are doing is crying like babies and running off on idiotic crusades to help cop killers. Also California is broke, the country is broke how much money do you think there really is to spend?  I don’t hate teachers, although there are quite a few I did hate and I can honestly say most of the teachers I have had in my life dealing with the public schools were not very good with many being downright terrible, but I don’t hate them all.  I can say I had 4 good teachers sadly it doesn’t sound as good when you remember I had 4 good ones during 12 years of schooling and each year of schooling I had at least 6 teachers.  So for all the BS yelling about people hating children I look at it like this, if you support the teachers unions you are the ones who really hate children.

That and Mumia needs to get executed already.

Because Terrorists Have High Moral Standards

“Meet Nagla Al-Imam, an Egyptian lawyer who suggests a novel form of “resistance” for Palestinian “fighters” contra Israel: Sexually harass Israeli women.

Al-Iman assures us that this won’t lead to rape, because resistance fighters’ “morals” are much “loftier” than that. But even if it does, she says, Israeli women would have no “right” to be upset, for this would merely square them with the Palestinians whose land they rape. And “few things,” Al-Iman tells us “are as grave as the rape of land.”

You have to see it to believe it, folks.”

Yeah this would never lead to rape especially since the only countries I know about that punish rape victims for being raped are run by Moslems since Moslems never rape anyone ever.

Or murder kids…

I love the part where she is asked by the reporter if this is will get people to break sexual harassment laws and she just basically say we don’t have any so who cares.  She doesn’t even act like it’s a bad thing they don’t have any.  This lady literally says that while she knows these “freedom fighter” have such high morals that they would never rape a woman (because the Islamists in Iran never raped women in prison so they wouldn’t have to execute a virgin for example), but if they did who cares and the woman because she is Israeli has no right to be upset.  Yeah the woman deserved it for being Israeli. I really, really hate the Middle East.

Suicide Solution

“Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal – over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.

The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’

Yeah, sounds like a great idea asshole.   You are such a piece of shit you cheated on your wife while she was dying of cancer and then you pull a bunch of illegal bullshit moves to try to hide it and what upsets you is the thought of going to jail and actually paying the consequences?  You still have children, your children just lost their mother and you and going to kill yourself and make them orphans instead of spending a year or two in jail?  I knew the guy was a piece of shit years ago but I didn’t know he was this bad (I’m not surprised though, I really wish I was, but I’m not).  OK this might all be bullshit I don’t know if it is true but if it is fucking hell.  The sad thing is the end of the article makes it sound like the person who wrote this is trying to make us feel bad for the guy.  No, no I do not, in fact I feel even less bad than I already did for him.  It doesn’t make me happy it just kinda makes me hate him, and I really don’t want to care about the fucker enough to hate him.

Apparently The U.N. Hasn’t Filled It’s Quotient Of Crazy This Month. 

“UNITED NATIONS — Bolivia will this month table a draft United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans — having just passed a domestic law that does the same for bugs, trees and all other natural things in the South American country.

The bid aims to have the UN recognize the Earth as a living entity that humans have sought to “dominate and exploit” — to the point that the “well-being and existence of many beings” is now threatened.”

This reminds me of the term “Watermelon”.  It’s someone who is green on the outside and red on the inside.  Meaning it’s a communist using environmental issues to push communism.  Especially since Bolivia’s laws specifically said they need to “end capitalism”.  The funy thing about this is that we are talking about the U.N.  Most of the member states of the U.N. are dictatorships with no freedom or human rights so are they going to give the earth the same rights they give their own people? I can’t wait till someone tries to say we are raping Mother Earth and Iran puts on trial for adultery and tries to stone her to death or China tries to throw Mother earth in Jail and execute her for saying something they don’t like and selling her organs on the black market.  Maybe Saudi Arabia will try to execute Mother Earth for apostasy or Cuba might try to jail her for reactionary thought.  The Sudan will try to sell her into slavery and England will bring her up on hate crimes charges for that natural disaster that hiss anyone who isn’t white.  And we can all have a good time yelling at Mother Earth because she doesn’t distribute her natural resources evenly and bring her up on trial for that.  It’s as if the U.N. is the longest running Monty Python sketch only it’s dead serious and there is always a chance it will get you killed, raped or starved to death.

Another question I has is if a natural disaster happens in a poor country do we charge Mother Nature with a hate crime or class warfare?

Obama Has The Worst Collection Of Pokemon.

“HONOLULU — The Honolulu Police Department confirmed that a close friend of President Barack Obama was arrested Monday in connection with a prostitution sting case.

Police arrested Bobby Titcomb, 49, a Punahou School classmate of Obama, at 9:40 p.m. in downtown Honolulu at the corner of Pohukaina and South streets. He was released after posting $500 bail, police said.

Police arrested four men in connection with a reverse prostitution sting involving a fake online female escort website, sources said.

The offense is considered a misdemeanor. Titcomb’s initial court appearance is scheduled May 2.

Titcomb usually spends the holidays with the president and his family when they spend time in Hawaii. He has been seen playing golf and attending picnics with the president.

The first family attended a barbecue at Ticomb’s Waialua home in December.”

There was the Racist, the Terrorist, the Communist what else does he need to collect them all?

Target Is A 13 Year Old Male In Possession Of A Tuna Sandwich And Some Pudding, Should I Take The Shot Sir? 

“Chicago school bans some lunches brought from home

To encourage healthful eating, Chicago school doesn’t allow kids to bring lunches or certain snacks from home — and some parents, and many students, aren’t fans of the policy”

I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the schools to provide lunch for children it’s the parent’s job.  This is where we all pause for a moment so you can yell about how much I hate children.  OK now that we have that bullshit out of the way we can move on.  I remember the lunches when I was in school and healthy wasn’t the first word I would use to describe them but I’m sure Chicago runs their school lunch programs better than they ran Cabrini-Green.  I really don’t know if this is to take more control away from parents or just to line the pockets of the contractors that provide the school lunches (for a nice little donation during election time of course), but it doesn’t matter it’s wrong either way.  Yeah some parents won’t take care of their children but unless the state is going to put them in a group home there isn’t much you can do about that.  The thing is this is taking away the right of the parents that do take care of their children.  I remember the packed lunches I got when my parents still made them for me.  It was a sandwich (meat, cheese, lettuce, pickle and tomato) a small bag of chips/popcorn (oh noes!!!) and a piece of fruit (usually a banana, apple or orange).  Sounds like I got all the food groups covered there.  Then I switched to the school lunch program (because I was old enough to make my own lunch but was lazy so my parents just paid for the school lunch) and I ate pizza or nachos every day (because it was the only things they served that could be considered edible.    Hell the school lunches we so small I would get two of them every day.  Granted I never eat breakfast unless I work out in the morning so I always eat a large lunch but that doesn’t matter.  I’m not fat, I never was fat.  I wasn’t some health nut in school and only started to work out semi-regularly recently so that wasn’t why I wasn’t a fat ass as a kid.  It was because my parents threw me outside and told me to play, so I did and as I got older I did other things like play drums (if you practice for a while it’s a good workout).  If you are really worried about the kids make gym class more demanding that was the whole point if it to make kids get some exercise anyway so use it.  Forcing kids to eat the terrible school lunches is putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb.  You can tell yourself you are helping but you aren’t even pretending to get to the root of the problem.  Hell the whole point of school lunches in the first place was to make sure the kids whose parents weren’t taking care of them wouldn’t go hungry at lunch time because their parents were too poor or lazy to make the kid lunch and now we are using more and more tax dollars to feed kids whose parents have the money to feed their kids.  My tax dollars are going to feed the children of people that make more money than I do.  One of the kids I went to school with father was and still is a US Congressman.  Are you saying that kid needed the school to make him lunch or he would starve?  He did however leave the school after 2 years to transfer to a private school because our school sucked bad and he had pissed off one of the local gang members that went there.

More from the article:

Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.

“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.

Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”

Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”

I like this kid.

“At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.”

Yes we must protect you from yourself, or your parents…

“Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.”

And part of that money helps line people’s reelection campaigns.
“At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.”

I know it’s a running joke that healthy food tastes bad but it’s not true.  Everyone loves beef stew and it’s not that hard to use low-fat beef and put a lot of vegetables in there, make it nice and healthy and serve it over rice or pasta.  Everyone loves stir-fry and it’s not that hard to make without using that much oil and it’s filled with healthy things.  You want a healthy burrito?  Throw in some black beans, lettuce, cheese, olives, onions, tomatoes and some rice and not only to you have a very good burrito but it tastes good and the kids would love it.  But you won’t do that because you think burritos aren’t healthy.   People act like the only thing you can eat is rice cakes and tofu burgers to eat healthy (at least 8% of rice cakes don’t taste like Styrofoam and ass, tofu on the other hand always tastes like shit).  It’s bullshit.  Hell you learn about the food pyramid in school and they can’t figure out how to use it to make healthy food that tastes good?

“For many CPS parents, the idea of forbidding home-packed lunches would be unthinkable. If their children do not qualify for free or reduced-price meals, such a policy would require them to pay $2.25 a day for food they don’t necessarily like.”

“We don’t spend anywhere close to that on my son’s daily intake of a sandwich (lovingly cut into the shape of a Star Wars ship), Goldfish crackers and milk,” education policy professor Diane Whitmore Schanzenbach wrote in an email. Her son attends Nettelhorst Elementary School in Lakeview. “Not only would mandatory school lunches worsen the dietary quality of most kids’ lunches at Nettelhorst, but it would also cost more out of pocket to most parents! There is no chance the parents would stand for that.”

Not only is this parent making her family is fed but she is taking the time to make it fun.  Think about how much better a child is going to do in school when they know that they have that lunch made with love for them every day.  It sounds a lot better than some grumpy lunch lady (it’s a stereotype I know but when I was in school it was 100% correct) dumping slop onto a tray.

I love the end of the article though.

“Many Little Village students claim that, given the opportunity, they would make sound choices.

“They’re afraid that we’ll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won’t be as good as what they give us at school,” said student Yesenia Gutierrez. “It’s really lame. If we could bring in our own lunches, everyone knows what they’d bring. For example, the vegetarians could bring in their own veggie food.”

“I would bring a sandwich or a Subway and maybe a juice,” said seventh-grader Ashley Valdez.

Second-grader Gerardo Ramos said, “I would bring a banana, orange and some grapes.”

“I would bring a juice and like a sandwich,” said fourth-grader Eric Sanchez.

“Sometimes I would bring the healthy stuff,” second-grader Julian Ruiz said, “but sometimes I would bring Lunchables.”

Is it always going to be that healthy?  No.  Who cares there is nothing wrong with a pizza, some fried chicken or a burger.  You just eat more than just that.  Sometimes you want a salad and sometimes you want hot-wings and there is nutritional value in both and there are things you get in one you can’t get in the other.  That’s why we have the food pyramid because you need it all, you just need it in the proper amounts.  Yesterday I have fried chicken, mash potatoes and green beans with bacon for lunch.  For dinner I had a very large salad.  I got everything I needed (other than the grains since I don’t think the breading is enough to qualify for the whole serving) but I live.  The other day I had a half a bag of potato chips and a giant bowl of broccoli for dinner.  Yeah my eating habits are weird but I get what I need.  See parents know what their children will eat.  They know the kid won’t eat brussel sprouts but they will eat green beans, carrots or corn.  I didn’t eat brussel sprouts or asparagus when I was a kid (I do now) but I loved broccoli and mixed vegetables as long as there wasn’t any types of squash or mushrooms in it (still won’t eat either).  And every kid will eat a fruit cup just as fast as they would eat Jell-o or pudding.  Parents know this and they know what their kid will eat and how to get them to eat healthy food yet for some reason the people running the school (many who have children) can’t figure this shit out.

I hate to admit when a dirty hippy is at least a little right but in this case I will.  Go to this link and it gives a nice suggestion on making a kid a healthy lunch they will eat  (you don’t need to use the organic/free-range/overpriced whatever they want you to though.  It’s about the bento boxes (they are not usually as fancy as the ones on the last link though) they have in Japan and a little bit on how to make them on your own.  The idea of a bento is that it’s a box with several compartments that you put different foods in and it is a common lunch thing in Japan.  I eat them quite often for lunch.  It’s usually a main dish, some rice, a vegetable, some pickles and some fruit but there are a lot of different varieties, I like the tonkatsu (it’s fried and breaded pork cutlet with this awesome sauce called tonkatsu sauce – the best being the Bulldog brand) or meat loaf ones.  There are ones made to be hot and ones made to be cold.  Either way, they are good and you can make them with different leftovers to save money.

After I wrote all this I say something that said the Principle in question backtracked and said she was taken out of context or that she didn’t mean to say what it sounded like she said.  It sounds more like when a bunch of people got angry she tried to back herself out of it.

Wendy’s Has New Fries And In Other News The Reporter May Have Been Paid To Plug A Different Food Joint In this Article. 

“When Wendy’s (NYSE: WENNews) created its Natural Cut Fries With Sea Salt, which it introduced last fall and is now promoting in new TV ads this week, the company’s product development team found a way to leave the potato skins on, make the fries crispier and give them a much tastier flavor. What they didn’t manage to do, however, is make the fries an actual all-natural product. That, says CMO Ken Calwell, would be too difficult given fast food customers’ demands for items that are cheap and can be hoisted through a car window.”

Last time I checked Fark.com has a whole section on advertisements masquerading as news.  This is one of those things.  The thing about it is why the lady that wrote the article keeps mentioning Five Guys as if they are either the greatest thing on the planet or the standard to what all food should be held too.  That or she got paid a bunch of money by Five Guys to act like that.   Now for the record I have never eaten at Five Guys and honestly I’m apathetic towards them.   Wendy’s on the other hand I have eaten and do like their food.  I even worked at a Wendy’s years ago (yes I worked at one and will still eat their food).   To me they are one of the better fast food joints but their fries always were a problem.  The problem with their fries was that half the time they were a little undercooked for my tastes.  Now when they were cooked long enough that they were all crunchy they were some of the best fast food fries you could get but a lot of time you had the undercooked kinda soggy ones and they just kind of sucked that way (as do all fries). But oh how I love a triple and a large chili.   I haven’t been able to try the new fries because they don’t have Wendy’s in Japan anymore so I can’t say if the new ones are better or not.  My problem with this article is that the reporter sounded like she wrote this article more to plug Five Guys rather than talk about the new Wendy’s fries.  I really want to say that Wendy’s having new fries isn’t news but at least this is in the financial part of Yahoo News so we can at least say it has some merit to people that are either investing in Wendy’s or thinking about it, but when it all comes down to it aren’t we all going to get the same information from the next commercial break?

Right Now There Is A Cop Drunk Dialing Your Girlfriend And A Sniveling Little Bureaucrat Touching Himself For Thinking This Whole Thing Up.

“Michigan: Police Search Cell Phones During Traffic Stops
ACLU seeks information on Michigan program that allows cops to download information from smart phones belonging to stopped motorists.

The Michigan State Police have a high-tech mobile forensics device that can be used to extract information from cell phones belonging to motorists stopped for minor traffic violations. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Michigan last Wednesday demanded that state officials stop stonewalling freedom of information requests for information on the program.

ACLU learned that the police had acquired the cell phone scanning devices and in August 2008 filed an official request for records on the program, including logs of how the devices were used. The state police responded by saying they would provide the information only in return for a payment of $544,680. The ACLU found the charge outrageous.

“Law enforcement officers are known, on occasion, to encourage citizens to cooperate if they have nothing to hide,” ACLU staff attorney Mark P. Fancher wrote. “No less should be expected of law enforcement, and the Michigan State Police should be willing to assuage concerns that these powerful extraction devices are being used illegally by honoring our requests for cooperation and disclosure.”

A US Department of Justice test of the CelleBrite UFED used by Michigan police found the device could grab all of the photos and video off of an iPhone within one-and-a-half minutes. The device works with 3000 different phone models and can even defeat password protections.

“Complete extraction of existing, hidden, and deleted phone data, including call history, text messages, contacts, images, and geotags,” a CelleBrite brochure explains regarding the device’s capabilities. “The Physical Analyzer allows visualization of both existing and deleted locations on Google Earth. In addition, location information from GPS devices and image geotags can be mapped on Google Maps.”

The ACLU is concerned that these powerful capabilities are being quietly used to bypass Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches.”

And every time I yell about the encroaching Orwellian state we are all trying to get to people call me paranoid.  I can’t wait till politicians and other state officials try to track down people that have their daughter’s phone numbers.  I can just see how that would go.

Police Officer:  So tell me Mr. Smythe why do you have a Kathy Johnson’s phone number in your phone?

Kyle Smythe:  Um, what is this about officer?

PO:  Just answer the question kid before you end up like you little friend Jimmy there!

KM:  Please officer, I didn’t do anything we have a group project due next week and needed to exchange numbers with the groups!

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Don’t lie to me boy do you know who Miss Johnson is!?  Do you!?

(Child is crying)

KM:  Please officer, stop hitting me… We have social studies 5th period and Mrs. Nguyen has us doing a group project on Mesopotamia…

PO:  Well Senator Johnson seems to think otherwise?

KM:  What?

PO:  So am I to assume that you are just doing a “group project” with Miss. Johnson even though your parents voting record shows they voted for Senator Johnsons rival in the last election?

KM:  Sir, I’m 14, I don’t pay attention to that stuff.

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Shut up and tell me why your parents donated 50 bucks to Senator Johnson’s rival in the last election and don’t lie to me boy!

KM:  Because apparently you and Senator Johnson are a bunch of fascist assholes and if I knew about this then I’d have told them to donate a lot more and spent less time playing X-Box and more time with the crazy militia guys that hang out in Baker’s Woods.

(Child passes out from blow to the head and scene fades to a picture of Kyle being led into a camp called Sunshine Farms Youth Reeducation Center).

So Does This Mean White People Can Get In On The Affirmative Action Policies Or Are They Still Not Allowed To Trick Or Treat At That House?

New census data confirm that some major metropolitan areas flipped from majority white to majority populations of minorities during the past decade.

White people are now in the minority in 46 of the nation’s 366 metro areas, including New York, Washington, San Diego, Las Vegas and Memphis, said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution.”

One thing I think is silly about this whole thing is they lump everyone that isn’t white into the same category of “Minority”, hell they even lump people that are white into the non-white (or minority) category like many Hispanics who are or 100% European decent but are somehow different than someone from Italy or Greece considering they are all of Mediterranean decent but the last two are jumped into the white (non-minority) category and the first into the minority category.      Anything to divide us I guess.

Honestly I could care less as long as they don’t vote for Progressives.

Out Of Fear That Nerds Might Try To Declare A Mulligan On History And Travel Back In Time To Support the Kuomintang China Bans Science Fiction Staple. 

“Hong Kong, China (CNN) – China has been cracking down on dissent of late, as the recent detainment of artist Ai Weiwei suggests.

But the latest guidance on television programming from the State Administration of Radio Film and Television in China borders on the surreal – or, rather, an attack against the surreal.

New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”

“The government says … TV dramas shouldn’t have characters that travel back in time and rewrite history. They say this goes against Chinese heritage,” reports CNN’s Eunice Yoon. “They also say that myth, superstitions and reincarnation are all questionable.”

The Chinese censors seem to be especially sensitive these days. But for the television and film industry, such strictures would seem to eliminate any Chinese version of “Star Trek,” “The X-Files,” “Quantum Leap” or “Dr. Who.”  And does that mean rebroadcast of huge Hollywood moneymakers like “Back to the Future” and the “Terminator” series are now forbidden?”

All I can think is that the Chinese government thought that if people think to hard about time travel they might get crazy ideas like what would happen if we all went back in time and stopped the communists from taking over and murdering tens of millions of us and oppressing the ones that managed to live.  Also since the last thing a communist is, is sane, they might be worried that some poor dissident might get so engrossed in the concept of time travel he ends up finding a way to do it and does the world a favor by beating to death Mao Zedong to death on his 18th birthday and does the entire world and the Chinese people a huge favor.  He’d be the best superhero ever.  Think about it he could call himself The Vigilante of Time and it could be a TV show.  It would be if Quantum Leap was about a Chinese guy jumping through time putting a bullet in the head of every shithead who ever needed it before they got a chance to be the bastard they would grow up to be.  I’d watch that show.  Hell I have no idea why that show hasn’t already been made.  If this show is ever made I don’t want any money for the idea just give me a mention in the credits and make sure you have episodes where they take out Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Hitler.  Also one where they stop they guy who invented Auto-Tune (he doesn’t have to die just stop the invention).

And Duke University Still Has Their Fingers In Their Ears While Yelling “La, La La, I Can’t Hear You”.

Durham, N.C. — Family members of a man who was stabbed in his home April 3 say he died Wednesday evening. Crystal Mangum, the Durham woman who falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape in 2006, has been charged with assaulting him.

“Durham police confirmed Thursday morning that Reginald Daye, 46, had died.

“The case remains under investigation, and we do anticipate upgrading the charges. However, no new charges have been filed at this time,” police spokeswoman Kammie Michael said in an e-mail to WRAL News.

Police said Mangum, 32, stabbed Daye in the torso with a kitchen knife during a dispute at 3507 Century Oaks Drive early on April 3…

In February 2010, police arrested Mangum after an altercation between her and a different boyfriend. In that incident, she was accused of assaulting the man in front of her children and setting some of his clothes on fire.

She was later convicted of child abuse, injury to personal property and resisting a public officer in the case, but prosecutors dismissed an arson charge after a jury couldn’t reach a verdict.”

You know if they had just locked her up for the first round of bullshit this might not have happened.  Granted I don’t know how long a jail sentence you get for false accusations are (and even though I’m on the internets right now I’m not looking it up) but it might have at least stopped for a bit the progression of her offenses.  I wonder if Mike Nifong is punching himself in the face right now.  If he isn’t he should be.

I hate it here.

The Ramifications On The Sinking Of The Cheonan And The New Korean War

A lot of new and fun things have been coming from the Korean peninsula recently and I as the worlds foremost experts in all things pertaining to North Korea figure I should once again take you on a journey towards the Hermit Kingdom.

Recent developments have shown that North Korea did in fact sink a South Korean war ship the ROKS Cheonan (PCC-772),  killing 46 people.  This has led to higher than normal tensions between what some refer to as Good Korea and Bad Korea (if you can’t figure out which is which shoot yourself for being a communist).  South Korea has retaliated by tightening sanction and stopping much of the trade between the two countries.  North Korea responded by once again screaming about war denying everything like usual no matter how insane their lies are and may shut down what is left of the trade between the two.  Both countries will deny each other use of ports, airspace and national waters.  North Korea claims any sanctions or any penalty for anything they ever do is an act of war against them (but them torpedoing a ship and killing people is OK for some reason).  Is it going to end it war?  Well I’m going to go with no, because China is still going to pretend to mediate but basically back North Korea simply because they are both communist countries, although I doubt they would send troops in if a war started but they would as usual send supplies and sell them arms even if they do it quietly (although they probably won’t both to do it quietly since every time they sign on to stop sending the money and arms the just do it anyway and everyone knows it).  South Korea probably knows that Obama doesn’t have the stomach to really back them if a war starts.  South Korea probably knows war is not the best answer because they would be on their own and if they did crush North Korea it would cause them to go broke trying to rebuild it if they went for reunification and there would be a lot of other problems if they crushed the North and then let them keep their country.   North Korea needs to talk about war to keep their population in line but knows they don’t have the money or resources to wage a real war.  China doesn’t want a war because they might also have to pick up the tab for North Korea and deal with the refugee problem it would create and also doesn’t want a unified Korean peninsula with a pro-west or at least pro-democracy government so they want to keep the status quo.  America is dealing with two other wars and has a leader who can’t even talk to a class of 4th graders without a teleprompter and when it comes to military decisions waffles so much it causes earthquakes

While North Korea has an extremely large army it is very underpowered technologically and the troops are staving.  They can do some damage but they can’t wage a protracted war without turning the whole army into a suicide squad.  War is not their aim.  I know it sounds odd when I say they did not try to start a war.  They attacked another country but are not trying to get into a war? Yes, that’s what is going on.  It makes sense from their thinking, well to a point I was even surprised they went this far however unless they pull a couple more stunts like this I will say that they don’t want a war.  What they want it to give South Korea and the rest of the world a black eye and use the war propaganda to get them through the sanctions and show everyone how tough they are.  They know or at least think the UN will not do anything about it (well everyone knows the UN will not do anything), South Korea and America don’t want a war and even if the South did America doesn’t want to get into another one right now and without American support South Korea will be hesitant to attack and due to the world’s economy being in the toilet the rest of the world, or at least the portions who while wouldn’t help militarily but may help economically will be hesitant to spend large sums in support of the South thus helping North Korea get away with this.

Now the question becomes why would North Korea bother to do this in the first place?  It’s because Kim Jong-il is old and probably dieing.  His successor Kim Jong-un is relatively unknown and unlike Kim Jong-il was not groomed for years as a successor so this causes  problems in a communist country since it is the only country that has ever existed that has a system best described as a Dynastic Communism. In order for Kim Jong-un to come to power with at least a little of his father’s power North Korea need a good propaganda coupe to look powerful in the world towards the people.  Acting aggressively like this and not suffering military consequences does this for the most part.  Basically they are bluffing the world much like they always do when they scream about war only this time they upped the ante by blowing up a South Korean ship and if the world doesn’t call the bluff they will succeed and they can run with the propaganda for a couple of years and use it to help ease the succession problems at least somewhat.

Do I want war?  No, not really, war isn’t a good thing, it is sometimes necessary though.  The men that died aboard the Cheonan need justice but in this world justice is in very short supply.  The problem with this is that there are no good options, sanctions have never worked with North Korea for longer than a week, they will pretend to be good now and then but they never change.  war could be catastrophic for the Korean peninsula both in the human and economic costs.   I have already mentioned the problems with outside support so the financial burden that may be lifted to some extent (although the human cost will remain) will not be lessened much if at all.  In a better world even if something like this did happen a large international force would have started operations last week and while the war would happen the financial cost and the human cost would be more spread out and the reconstruction of the North after the end of the war wouldn’t bankrupt South Korea.  But we live in this world where the UN sits by and watches genocide while raping and stealing from the ones lucky enough to survive and most counties think diplomacy is the answer to everything no matter what evidence there is to the contrary.

So what is the cure for all this mess?  Fuck if I know.  OK I do know to a point.  The civilized world needs to enforce strict sanctions making it illegal to sell or buy anything from North Korea (china and the uncivilized world will not go along but other than China most of the uncivilized world excluding some Middle Eastern countries don’t have much money).  We also need to get an international force to station more troops on the border shut down the sea lanes and let North Korea know that if they try to pull something they will be destroyed.  OK in reality the cure for this is for the world to pull its head out its ass and do a bunch of other things it will never do.  OK better solution, hid under your desk cover your ears and eyes, cry like a little bitch and hope it will all go away (or in other words mostly what the worlds leaders do now).  I’m counting on not much happening other than talk and I will still have to deal with North Korea shooting rockets over my head (I live in Japan if you didn’t know), well when their rockets don’t blow up during the launch.

Alright I’m joking, I think…  OK that wasn’t a joke I just want to tell myself it was.  Other than what little sanctions we can get right now we probably won’t be able to do much until Kim Jong-il finally finds his way to hell and if we are luck we can find a way to work with Kim Jong-un and hope (yes “hope” also known as lying to yourself so you don’t cry yourself to sleep every night) he has the power to do something and be North Korea’s Mikhail Gorbachev.  Then we have to hope that unlike Russia North Korea doesn’t end up with their own version of Putin and the rest of the ex-KGB and Russian Mafia that is currently running Russia.  Yes, Russia’s current leadership is still a bunch of bastards but they cause less international problems than the old Soviet Union.

The good news is that North Korea probably can’t cause WWIII since most countries won’t back them in a shooting war so unless China gets really stupid and commits troops (something they know is not in their economic interest) we don’t have to worry about that.  The bad news is that what I just said was the closest thing we have to good news.

I’m not going to get into much else about what would happen in a war, North Korea’s military or the ramifications of a change of government because I have already done it several times so if you want more just go here and you can read all my other articles on North Korea (really, do it, you might learn something).

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I hate it here…

Oh, North Korea How You Complete Me.

Is this photo relevant to the post?  No, but it’s funny so shut up while I get on with the rest.

Ah, my best running joke friend North Korea is back in the news so today I have with me two delicious helpings of fun from the Hermit Kingdom.

First off I’m going to go with the quick and easy jokes and the first story:

“U.N. Expert: No. Korean Farm Controls Causing Hunger:


North Korea should let farms produce freely and allow food to be sold in local markets because the communist government cannot provide enough food for its people, a U.N. human rights investigator urged Monday.”

Easy Joke Number 1:

It’s the U.N. and they pretty much invented the concept of Complete Fuck-Up.  It’s what they do for a living, so when they say you fucked up hardcore you know they know what they are talking about.

Easy Joke Number 2:

Communist/Socialist Farm Controls cause hunger, since when?  Oh, right, Cambodia (Pol Pot), The Soviet Union (The Ukrainian Famine, 70 Years of bad harvests, ect..), China (The Great Leap Forward… into starvation and death…), Zimbabwe (just as the Ukraine was the “Bread Basket” of Eastern Europe Zimbabwe was that to Africa, it’s not now, thanks to Mugabe and his “Land Reforms”, prick…).  Seriously at what point in history have “Land Reforms” by left-wing tyrants not ended in starvation?  Thanks U.N. guy for stating the obvious.

Easy Joke Number 3:

“The U.N. estimates that 8.7 million people need food aid in North Korea. The country has relied on foreign assistance to feed much of its population since the mid-1990s when its economy was hit by natural disasters and the loss of the regime’s Soviet benefactor.”

I’m pretty sure the “natural disasters” are really called Kim Il-sung, Kim Jong-il and the idiocy that is Communism.  The thing they called a “Natural disaster in the 90’s was mud slides that whipped out much of the agricultural base because people clear cut the mountains to hide private farms so they wouldn’t starve since the government took all the food from the communal state farms to feed the Kims, some of the army and the Kims army of concubines.  Now what happens when you use very primitive farming technics on a mountainside because you can’t afford to terrace it because it would be too obvious you have an illegal farming operation up there and you have removed the trees that help hold the dirt up there?  It’s called a mud-slide, and good for them these mud-slides killed the state farms below.  Now no one has food.  Woohoo!
The country only lasted till the 90’s because the Soviet Union was giving them welfare payments for their food.  They entire country’s economy was based on Soviet welfare payments.  Interestingly enough if the Soviet Union hadn’t been giving them this for… I don’t know… North Korea’s whole existence not only would North Korea not exist but the Soviet Union might have had enough money to keep themselves afloat for another 10 years before they collapsed from the idiocy that was their economic system.  Hell the only reason there are still people in North Korea is because of the very, very large amount of land mines in the DMZ, otherwise it would have looked like the Berlin Wall (mother fuckers trying to jump the bitch every day).

Easy Joke Number…  Fuck it…  I’m just going with the rest of them here:

“Muntarbhorn has never been allowed to visit North Korea, which views his mandate as a violation of its sovereignty.

Basing his information on U.N. and non-governmental agencies active in North Korea, he said soldiers routinely steal or extort agricultural produce from farmers in the country. He said interviews with refugees also provided valuable information about the plight of rural North Koreans.

“People should be able to generate that food and keep it rather than being extorted as they are today,” Muntarbhorn said. “They should be able to trade; to generate income the state is not able to provide.”

Muntarbhorn presented his report Monday at the U.N. Human Rights Council, prompting an angry North Korean rebuttal.

North Korean diplomat Myong Nam Choe accused the investigator of being part of a Western effort to discredit the Pyongyang government.”

Soldiers steal food… what, really?  Yeah they steal and extort food and sometimes it’s for themselves rather than the State.  It’s because the country doesn’t have a functioning economy, the State has always stolen and extorted food, the reason that the Army is doing it more than they are told to is because the government doesn’t even bother to try to feed them well.  At least when they were still on the Soviet Welfare program the Government sent food to the military.  Now they are barely bothering to do that.  What do you think is going to happen?

“People should be able to generate that food and keep it rather than being extorted as they are today”,  Really?  Is that true?  Isn’t that sort of the entire concept of Traditional Liberalism?  You know the ability to keep your own shit and hasn’t that done more for the world economy than any other system ever invented?  What next the U.N. will talk about property rights and limited governmental interference?  How the hell did this Professor Muntarbhorn get a job at the U.N. considering the U.N.’s motto is “Thievery, Rape, Incompetence”?

“North Korean diplomat Myong Nam Choe accused the investigator of being part of a Western effort to discredit the Pyongyang government.”

Yeah, because someone really needs to try and do that one.  Your countries entire economy is based on getting people to give you money to knock off your crazy shit.  You test a missile then tell the world you will stop if they give you money for food.  The world feels bad and gives you money.  You run out of money so you do it again.  Your entire economy is like a person on welfare that tells you that they will rob you house if you don’t keep giving them money, because lord knows he isn’t going to go out and get a fucking job and you don’t what to deal with a the crying the liberal twats (I know putting liberal and twat is redundant but I did it anyway) around the world will do if you just shoot the bastard.  Well played North Korea, well played.  For now at least, some day someone is going to pimp-slap the liberal twats (I did it again), tell them to shut the fuck up and shoot the bastard (think Saddam Hussein at the end of a rope).  yea, Sean Penn might get upset but what does he know?  I seriously thought the movie I Am Sam was a documentary of his life until I remembered that he isn’t that smart.  He’s the person the Retarded call retarded.  A rock has a better chance of being sentient than Sean Penn…  Wait what was the point…  Something, something, Sean Penn is is an idiot, North Korea…  Right that was it…
OK on to the second part:

“SEOUL, South Korea — North Korean leader Kim Jong Il may die within three years, a senior U.S. envoy said in Seoul last month, according to a report published Wednesday.

Assistant U.S. Secretary of State Kurt Campbell told U.S. Ambassador Kathleen Stephens, a South Korean lawmaker and activists in a closed-door session that he doubted the 68-year-old leader would live beyond 2013, South Korea’s Chosun Ilbo newspaper said.

Campbell based his estimate on medical information, the report said, citing unidentified source.”

OK, I think it’s more a news think than a joke but I had to bring it up.  I don’t really think I need to once again get into the Kim Jong-il being dead thing because I have gone over it in length.  But why is this fun?  Well for one Kim is going to be dead and that makes me laugh and two, well read these other posts like I said and you will get the point:

Letters from the Hermit Kingdom: North Korea and the Kim

Silliness in the Hermit Kingdom and fun with North Korean succession

Silliness in the Hermit Kingdom Part II

Now some of the information and the posts are old but it all makes more sense when you start from the beginning and at least on the third one if you read the comments section because I do go over a lot of different things about the possible death of Kim Jong-il and the repercussions of it.  I’ll end with some fun photoshop from North Korea.

Yes he wasn’t really in that picture.  He was probably in a hospital at the time but they needed to make it look like he wasn’t.

Bulldozer Tag For Terrorists: The Rachel Corrie Story

So it’s the anniversary of a  communist idiot’s martyr’s death.  A martyr who bravely fought  to protect  a bunch of insane Hamas terrorists brave freedom fighters.  So me being the nice guy I am going to take the time to make fun of memorialize her.

“Rachel Corrie was a young fanatic college student from Washington State, who decided she could make the world a better place by showing her solidarity with Middle East terrorism and Palestinian mass murderers.  She joined the International Solidarity Movement, a communist-anarchist group who openly support Palestinian terrorism. Corrie set up shop in the Gaza Strip, where she and her ISM comrades spent their days trying to harass and provoke Israeli troops and interfere with Israel’s anti-terrorist military operations. They would set up obstacles on roads to prevent Israeli troops and otherwise assist and defend the terrorists. The ISM is probably the campus organization most upfront about its support for the Palestinian “right” to engage in terrorism, and that is saying quite a lot these days!

In one confrontation with the Israelis, Corrie was trying to block an army bulldozer that was knocking down homes of terrorists and buildings hiding tunnels through which weapons and explosives were being smuggled into Israel. These tunnels brought weapons from Egypt to the Gaza city of Rafiah. One of these homes might have been that which Corrie’s parents describe as that of an “innocent pharmacist.” Corrie and her ISM comrades wanted to help protect the Gaza smuggling tunnels. Rachel Corrie put herself in a position where the bulldozer driver could not see her, and she was dragged under the heavy machine. She died in a PLO ambulance or hospital shortly thereafter. The ISM then issued a host of “eyewitness” reports about the accident, which turned out to be fabrications. The simple fact of the matter was that Corrie had figured the Israeli bulldozer driver could be cowed into backing off if he saw her blocking his access to the terrorist house; she probably figured correctly, except that he did not see her from his limited-visibility window in the rig.”

Stupid stupid little girl.  Next time if you are going to try to protect a bunch of terrorists try to not sit in front of a bulldozer, it’s not going to end well.  Wait never mind there wont be a next time but future morons might learn a thing or two.  Wait, don’t learn anything, you’re communist morons, have fun with the Bulldozer Tag kids.

Should I think this is funny?  Yes, the moron sat in front of a bulldozer to protect terrorists.  Of course I think this is funny, the only way it could be funnier is if Flava Flav was driving the bulldozer and singing an Oompa-Loompa style song about it.

Palaestina delenda est!

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If this upset you in any way please feel free to got to my Complaint Department and we can talk.

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I hate it here…  But pissing off terrorists and communists is so, so much fun…

North Korea Threatens To Blow Themselves Up, World Could Care Less

I spend a lot of my time making fun of North Korea or at least the Tiny Tot they call their leader anyway.  I do it because I care, about humor, political humor that is (if you don’t find me funny you rape baby seals and can watch MSNBC without laughing… I really don’t know what bothers me more about you…).  I also care about Korea, sort of, I care about Korean women because I find them to be rather attractive so if you are a young Korean Woman in her 20’s or early 30’s please go here…  Wait that wasn’t the point of this was it?   What was I talking about?

Oh… Right… North Korea blowing stuff up

OK I’ll be honest, North Korea didn’t threaten to blow themselves up, they threatened to blow up the United States and South Korea.  And while they may be able to do some damage I think they will hurt themselves a bit more than they will hurt anyone else.  First off their main ballistic missile is the Taepodong-2 and it has a tendency to blow up during launch.  Now this might cause a problem for them when they try to blow someone else up considering the Type of dong-2 Taepodong-2 even when it doesn’t blow up during the launch is more likely to act like a boomerang and  still blow up the launch pad  than actually get close enough to do anything.  Yes I know every now and then they get one in the air that doesn’t come back and blow up the poor bastard that tried to launch the thing but it’s not very often.  To put it in perspective the Withdrawal Method has a better chance at preventing crabs than one of those things has of hitting it’s target (unless the target is the launching pad, they are good at that one).  Interestingly enough maybe if they set the target as the launching pad they might get lucky.  Granted this is the same logic that makes me wonder if I might be able to make a hole-in-one while golfing if I aimed in the opposite direction of the green but that’s why I don’t play golf, I’m bad at it, very, very bad at it (unless I’m in someone’s living room with a Wii controller in my hand).  My point is when your only hope is a Hail Mary that requires you to shoot at yourself you might want to find another game to play.  You’d be safer playing Russian Roulette with a Colt 1911.

Well if their missiles aren’t that good they do have other things.  Like top-notch fighter jets…  Wait, nope don’t have that either.  They do have fighters but much like the hilarity that is the name of their missiles their jets are even better.  The North Korean Air Force still use MIG-15’s. Now why is this funny?  Well for two reasons.  The first is that the MIG-15 was top of the line when it was introduced and was a formidable fighter jet, but that was in 1947.  So their aircraft are over 60 years behind the times.  But wait there’s more!  All jets have a number such as the F-14, F-22 and so on, but they also have what is called a Reporting Name.  In the case of the F-14 it’s the Tomcat and the F-22 it’s the Raptor.  Good, strong names.  The MIG-15 is the Fagot.  Seriously I’m not making this up.  the North Korean Air Force is flying around in a bunch of Fagots.  Granted I will give them that it’s not their most popular fighter.  The second most popular fighter – that isn’t for only training purposes – is the Shenyang J-5 that was introduced in China in 1956, but it is really just a copy of the MIG-17 introduced in 1952.  Sadly both the Shenyang J-5 and the MIG-17 are called a Fresco and not say the MIG-17 Dike and then moving on to the MIG-21 Lady Boy (the MIG-21 is a Fishbed, it’s not really a step up though).  Yes their most popular fighter is the MIG-21 Fishbed.  I’m so, so afraid.

This is what the North Korean Air force is made of:

The MIG-15 Fagot

The MIG-17 Fresco

The MIG-19 Farmer

The MIG-21 Fishbed

The sad thing is that the 8-track deck your grandfather has at his house is more technologically advance than the entirety of the North Korean Air Force.

Then there is the North Korean Army.  Yes it is quite large for a country that size, but they haven’t eaten in weeks.  If they ever tried to invade South Korea people would be confused weather or not it was an invasion or a bunch of refugees fleeing across the border looking for food.  We don’t even need land mines on the DMZ we could just drop thousands of pounds of Twinkies and Ramen Noodles on the advancing North Korean Army and it would halt them in their tracks.  Hell the only reason their Tinny Tot of a communist dictator (I know communist and dictator in the same sentence is redundant but every now and then a dictator isn’t a communist or socialist) still pulls this shit is he’s hoping the world doesn’t call his bluff so he can dupe them into sending more food aid.  Sadly it works, I don’t know why but I suspect it’s because half the world feels bad and the rest don’t want to look bad by picking on the kid in the wheel chair.  It’s that or the fact we all know that if it gets any worse we might actually have to go in there and do something.  It would take 50 years and a 500 billion dollars to get them to Somalia levels of civilization.  Think about it like this I could go to Somalia right now and get a cellphone an internet connection and a HDTV and a Blu-Ray player.  In  North Korea I can’t even get an aspirin without having to bride 18 members or Kim Jong-il’s inner circle.  The country had to kidnap a South Korean Film Director and Actress in order to have a film industry and the best the North Korean film industry could come up with was a cheep knock-off of Godzilla called Pulgasari (the only reason this movie was sent to international audiences was because some Japanese guy thought it would be funny).*  In their version he is a nice monster and only becomes evil because of Capitalism (Michael Moore has better stuff and he’s illiterate).  That’s what we are working with here.  That’s why we pay the bribe money, we don’t have kind of money or time it would take to fix them so it’s easier to just leave them to fester and take care of the ones lucky and smart enough to get away.

Granted the world might not have the money to pull North Korea out of the hole they dug but we could afford to drop over more than Twinkies and Ramen Noodles to get them to stop an attack.  But why bother, plus you have to start them off slow.  We are talking about a county where the national dish is Grass Soup and dog meat is considered something only the rich can afford.  Now people do eat a lot of dog meat in North Korea, but if your not connected trust me it’s not dog.  What they call dog meat is what we in the rest of the world call “Longpig”, it’s just easier to call it dog meat than try to explain to your family that you traded their dead Grandmother to the family down the street for their dead uncle (because no one wants to eat their own grandmother and no one in North Korea with believe that you somehow found fresh beef the day after grandma dies).  so dog it is (FYI dog is good and beef like).

So please do the world a favor North Korea and knock the shit off.  Your entire air force can be stopped by one Squadron of F-18’s, your army can be bought off with a couple bags of Doritos and  some instant ramen, your missiles only shoot one way (at the poor bastard that launched the thing) and your nuclear program is only a worry if you can figure out how to smuggle a weapon to a bunch of cave dwelling goat raping Islamakazis who would probably just blow themselves up since they would not be able to read the Korean instruction manual much less translate it into their own language something they also can’t read.

I almost feel bad about laughing at you.  Almost….

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*  Yes it was a joke and no, the two kidnaped individuals had nothing to do with that film, I was making a point about how crappy the North Korean film industry is since the two individuals were at the time considered South Korea’s greatest director and actress.  For those who don’t know South Korean cinema is good, very good, but even their best couldn’t fix North Korea.  To put it another way, it’s as if you kidnaped Alfred Hitchcock and Audrey Hepburn, make them teach you everything they know and still can’t come up with anything better than a movie Carrot Top wouldn’t be a part of.  They can’t even get to Ed Wood level of bad (I don’t know what is worse Ed Wood or Carrot Top, at least Ed Wood can be unintentionally funny, were Carrot top is trying to be funny but is a hate crime).   North Korean Cinema is so bad Mystery Science Theater 3000 couldn’t make it funny.  And I have seen the miracles they can perform.  Has anyone seen their version of Manos The Hands Of Fate?  That movie is so bad if you tried to watch that movie without the MST3K guys at the helm you would have sucked off a shotgun at the 15 minute mark just to make it stop.  It’s that bad, and North Korean cinema is still worse.

All The News Fit To Make Fun Of

My God, LolCats Are Killing The Planet!:

“Man’s best friend could be one of the environment’s worst enemies, according to a new study which says the carbon pawprint of a pet dog is more than double that of a gas-guzzling sports utility vehicle.”

I know they started with dogs and not cats but they get into how cats are also killing the environment with their evil “carbon paw prints”.  Seriously has anyone stopped to think about the fact that CO2 is natural and required  on this planet or all life will die?

Granted this crap comes from two people that wrote the book “Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living”.  Look I don’t have a problem eating dog or even cat (and I love kittens) and have eaten both, but I really don’t take advice from people who write a book called “Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living”.  It just says “crazy” on so many levels that I’m not about to give a rats ass (something I won’t eat, a rats ass mind you, the meat might be good, I don’t know but it is eaten in some countries) what these morons have to say.  Fuck you Lassie and Mittens are not killing the planet knock off the scare tactics.

We Sell Bears And Propaganda To Your Children:

Really because we don’t have enough idiocy with this Global Warming…  Wait, Fuck it’s cold as hell right now…  Um… Climate Change, yeah that’s it, Climate Change (because it’s not natural or anything, please pay no attention to the last billion years of Earth’s existence).  Yeah and because if it we get this shit from the Build-A-Bear people about how Global Warming is going to end Christmas FOREVER!!!!

Really?  We will never have Christmas again because man is killing the planet through Global Warming?  Fuck you!  Leave the kids alone already and stop it with your bullshit.

Really go to the link and watch the video it’s moronic.  How the fuck was a polar bear friends with a penguin?  So we have real scientific facts to tell kids about the environment but miss the fact that a polar bear would eat the penguin?  Sounds like someone might not know what they are talking about.

How about this asshole build be a bear with a giant middle finger and give it to yourself!

Fuck The Eco-Police, Fuck Fuck The Eco Police:

“A new global body dedicated to environmental stewardship is needed to prevent a repeat of the deadlock which undermined the Copenhagen climate change summit, Gordon Brown will say tomorrow.”

Yeah I don’t have much else for that one.  Fuck the Eco-Police, Fuck Fuck The Eco-Police.  Yes NWA kicks ass and hippies still suck ass.

After Women, Humor Is Columbia’s Greatest Natural Resource:

“Colombia’s defense chief joked Monday that Venezuelan troops might have mistaken Santa’s sleigh for a spy plane, dismissing accusations by President Hugo Chavez about drones flying over Venezuela.

Chavez on Sunday accused the United States of violating Venezuela’s airspace with an unmanned spy plane and ordered his military to be on alert and shoot down any such aircraft.”

Hugo Chavez has turned himself into such a joke the highest military commander in Columbia can’t even bring himself to try to give serious answers to the idiots accusations.  How sad is it for Chavez when he is constantly yelling about an impending war between himself and Columbia and the US and all that Columbia can do is keep laughing at his stupid ass?

Mao Zedong Does Not Belong On The White House Christmas Tree, Or Any Others For That Matter:

“Transvestites, Mao And Obama decorate White House Christmas Tree”

Seriously why the fuck does the White House Christmas Tree Mao Zedong’s face on the ornaments?  I can understand the transvestitse since it is a Democrat in office (not really but I’ll give the fucks some slack here) but Mao?  He murders millions!  He was a communist sort of the opposite of everything this country was founded on.   Obama, if you want people to stop calling you a communist you need to make sure things like this do not happen.  I know you have no idea what you are doing but you could at least look at the fucking tree.  It’s not that fucking hard is it or does the teleprompter have to do everything?

I Don’t Remember The Eighth Commandment Being Optional

“Poor people who are desperate for cash have been advised to go forth and shoplift from major stores – by an Anglican priest.

The Rev Tim Jones said in his Sunday sermon that stealing from successful shops was preferable to burglary, robbery or prostitution.”

But it’s not that bad because he also says that “I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.”

Really?  No it’s always wrong to steal no matter who it’s from, the Eight Commandment doesn’t have any qualifiers in it, its “Thou shalt not steal” end of discussion.  But no it’s OK to steal from big stores because they have a lot of money so it’s OK right?  “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house; neither shalt thou desire… his servant, nor his handmaiden, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is his. The tenth commandment forbids coveting the goods of another.”  Oh fuck, wait that’s the Tenth Commandment right?  Something about jealousy about people who have more then you?  Oh crap so it’s coveting and stealing, Right.

I recommend the people at his church fined a new one and that the Anglican leadership strip him of his priesthood.  He can think what he wants but I don’t think you need to keep around a priest that can’t figure out something as simple as the Ten Commandments.

And In The “No Shit” File:

“U.S. banks that spent more money on lobbying were more likely to get government bailout money, according to a study released on Monday.

Banks whose executives served on Federal Reserve boards were more likely to receive government bailout funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program, according to the study from Ran Duchin and Denis Sosyura, professors at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business.”

Yeah, we didn’t already know this?  OK some people didn’t but some people are stupid.  We live in a Corporatist State it happens. And the more money they sent Obama the more money they got back right?  Of course.  I’m not saying it’s right, we need to destroy how it works so we can fix this shit.

Always Remember When You Are Broke Always Give Away Money:

“The planet may be saved after all, and it will only cost $100 billion.

Just as the Copenhagen climate summit appeared to be on the verge of unraveling, the United States Thursday announced its support of an annual $100 billion climate protection fund, the Associated Press reports.

“The US is prepared to work with other countries toward a goal of jointly mobilizing $100 billion a year by 2020 to address the climate change needs of developing countries,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said.”

Look the whole Global Warming/Climate Change is a scam, the country is fucking broke, stop giving away what is left of our money.  We give away enough money to the murderers and rapist at the UN just stop it already!

The fastest way to “Save The World” would be for every Politician (and every Hippie, Communist, Nazi, Socialist and Corporatist) to put a gun to their own head and pull the fucking trigger twice.  It might not solve everything instantly but it’s the only shot this world as at a good start.

Because The Fastest Way To Fiscal Solvency Is Always to Increase Debt:

“The measure, passed last week by the House of Representatives, would increase the debt limit, now at $12.1 trillion, by $290 billion.

Senate Democrats may approve the measure largely by themselves because most, if not all, Republicans are expected to vote against it, Republican aides said. Democrats control the Senate, 60-40.”

ARE YOU ALL FUCKING STUPID OR ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?

Seriously, please, please kill yourselves.

Welcome To The Lesser Of Two Evils:

“A U.S. House Democrat who opposes the health care overhaul announced Tuesday he is defecting to the GOP, another blow to Democrats ahead of the midterm elections.

U.S. Rep. Parker Griffith spoke to reporters at his home in northern Alabama, a region that relies heavily on defense and aerospace jobs.

“I believe our nation is at a crossroads and I can no longer align myself with a party that continues to pursue legislation that is bad for our country, hurts our economy, and drives us further and further into debt,” Griffith said as his wife Virginia stood by his side.”
Really both parties suck a phat one, the Republicans just suck less so welcome to the party of less suck.

I hate it here.

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