I’m Going to Culturally Appropriate The Shit Outta That.

Yep, I said it and that is what I’m fixing to do. Wait, one second I’m going to crack open a beer. Beer? Really did your people invent beer? Nope. Is it a beer native from my ancestral homeland? Also nope and I’m still gonna drink it. My people didn’t invent Tetris either but I’m still going to play the shit out of it when I’m waiting at the DMV.

Stop me. Please, go ahead and try to stop me cause I’m about to appropriate some motherfucking cultures. I’m going to zig when you thought I would zag and before you know it… something… Sports metaphor… something something… Yeah… there was a point in all of this and it was all about tacos.

I fucking love tacos! I also love English Common Law, beer, Representative Democracy, anything done to a sheep that involves curry and not sex, indoor plumbing and the aesthetics of pre-modern Japanese architecture. I love Japanese people playing Irish punk, German people playing Horror Punk and I’m still going to rock out to some metal from Botswana. Did I mention tacos? Have you ever had taco rice? It’s a common dish from Okinawa and it’s bloody awesome.

This isn’t some sort of multiculturalism BS where we have to fetishize other cultures this is just the reality of a world where we can know other cultures and learn from them while they learn from us and we don’t even have to kill each other to do it anymore. We can take the good things about those other people and incorporate them into ourselves. Did you know the potato is not native to Ireland or even Europe? Do you like Italian food? Who in their right mind doesn’t? Neither the tomato nor pasta originated in Italy. One didn’t even originate in the same hemisphere but for some reason Italy was able to take those two things mix them with some local delights and come up with glory.

Can you dig it?

No? Do you want to complain and be an over sensitive idiot? Fuck you I will keep going and you can’t do shit about it. Cultures and societies evolve in three ways. One is from changes and pressures within the society or culture, one from without or a mixture of both. Sometimes times they are exclusive of one another and other times they are the direct result of one another. Take a simple example of this from Japan. The Bakufu system (military rule by the Shogun vice rule by the Emperor) was from purely internal forces, the Meiji Restoration was the result of both internal and external forces and the current Japanese Constitution was the result of external forces. Is all change good? No, not always but sometimes it can be. You can argue that the Meiji restoration was a good thing in some ways for Japan but did lead towards the imperialism and horrors of WWII while at the same time setting up a basis where the current Japanese political system would end up being acceptable. The Meiji restoration led to both the idea of the Diet (the Japanese parliament) and the imperialism of the early 20th century. The idea of a constitutional monarchy was born there and continues. Now has it all been good? No but remember me talking about our ancestors before? By the time WWII happened England had shrugged off the worst of its decades long imperialist abuses although to the Imperialism while Japan continued them. Remember all our ancestors are horrible people but this was the difference between the two empires at that time. One while not good was and had been getting better and one was, well mostly all bad.

How does this tie in to appropriating culture? As countries, cultures, religions clash they exchange their ideas for better or worse and mankind has been doing it for the entirety of its existence. Hell half of mankind isn’t fully H. Sapiens. Remember all the Neanderthals we fucked and or killed to get where we are today? Chances are unless you are 100% sub-Saharan African and have zero relatives from Madagascar one of your ancestors is a Neanderthal or Denisovan. Hell even if you are 100% sub-Saharan African you could still have blue eyes or you could be from a Pacific island and have blonde hair and blue eyes and no dirty European blood required. Genetics is silly and sometimes fun.

If you don’t get it yet humans are a mixed race. We mix ideas while we bloodlines and make good and bad things with it. The Iroquois Confederacy had a profound effect on the American colonist as well as the Roman Republic, English Common Law, Christianity and Greek philosophy and Democracy. And that is just the bloody goat fucking start. The Ancient Greeks were making Buddhist art 2000 years before white hipster twats in SF where annoying people with their fake enlightenment. If you don’t believe me look up the history of the Hindu Kush.

Our societies and our cultures are built off of the collective knowledge of the societies and cultures that came before us, how they interacted, collaborated, fought and learned from one another. It wasn’t always pleasant and it wasn’t always nice but to stop this exchange would be the destruction and death of the progress and evolution of mankind. We need the cultural exchange. Without it we wouldn’t have modern fucking medicine, mathematics, physics, or fucking indoor plumbing and fuck you I’m not going to go back to shitting in a random hole and using leaves and unlucky squirrels for ass wipe. My Car is Japanese, the TV Korean but you know damn well the computer is American. I’m drinking a Canadian beer, my lunch was Italian, my dinner Indian and the last pair of shoes I bought was made in Vietnam. I’m going to eat sushi, adobo, jerk chicken or a burger and fries. I’ll listen to Opera, watch American football and eat tacos while I drink Gin, Saki and Soju. I’m going to listen to African folk tales while dancing to gypsy songs in the middle of Lima, Helsinki or Bangkok while you . I’m going to appropriate the fuck out of your culture and I’m going to serve you mine on a platter of gold and if you don’t like it you should try to shove the world up your ass because that is where your head is and for once you might be able to see the place.

In the end it won’t matter anyway since these guys already appropriated all the awesomeness that was left in the world.

 

Fuck all you hipster and SJW cunts.

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100,000 Years of Stupid

Hello people and the random sentient beings watching us angrily from the abyss. Since I haven’t been around for a while I’m going to take this slow and ease my way in back in to the swing of things. Don’t worry kids eventually I may get banned by the UN for my creative use of the English language, my ability to invent new and exciting obscenities and telling the truth but for now I’ll start off will telling you all that your culture sucks and your ancestors suck. Sorry did I forget to tell you that since you are no longer in your mother’s womb this is not only not a safe space but you will not be getting any participation trophies either. Yes, you, stop looking around thinking I’m talking to someone else. I’m talking to you. I’m talking to all of you and the more you think I’m talking to other people and this doesn’t apply to you the more it does so stop, quit down and listen before I beat you like your father should have done if he had stuck around. I know you don’t want to do that since people rarely like listening to anything that doesn’t conform to their preconceived notions and if for some reason you are already agreeing with me you better fucking stop that as well. You have no idea why I have said any of this yet so what exactly are you agreeing with? Are you agreeing with my ideas about your genetic or cultural heritage or your own biases and anger towards them? I don’t think we are in agreement, so stop, listen and wait to get angry till I have finished. You might learn something and if not its sounds like a whole lot of not my problem.

So let’s do this. Every single person on this planet is the descendent of rapists, slavers, genocidal maniacs, racists, murderers, imperialists, thieves and cannibals. Think about every horrible thing you can think of. Your ancestors did all of that and more. They did it to anyone and everyone they could find and they enjoyed it. And while your ancestors where doing that to everyone they could find everyone else’s ancestors where doing it to your ancestors and everyone they could find. Sometimes they even involved livestock in their shenanigans.

Are you angry? Are you uncomfortable? Good, now it’s time to learn something. None of this is your fault. Not a single thing your ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is your fault. And if we take that idea and expand on that idea not a single thing anyone else’s ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is their fault. The fault lies with individual person guilty of whatever crimes we want to talk about. Are you as an individual currently engaged in or have engaged in genocide, the slave trade, theft or rape? Has the person sitting next to you engaged in any of this behavior? Now since the answer on both accounts is most likely “no” unless you work at the UN I want you to stop and ask yourself this question. “If no ones ancestors are without flaws including my own should I be using the ancestors of others as a reason to hate that individual or in any way against them?”

There is one correct answer to that question.

Now remembering that everyone’s ancestors and culture at one time or another where horrible does that say that they always will be? Think back to history. Can people and culture change? Can they get better? Can they get worse? Yes they can on all accounts. You can look to history to see patterns, suggestions that a society is going from one to the other but that does not mean it will play out the same every time. Remember that time your culture invented something? Oh, I bet you can, now remember how you had absolutely nothing to do with it? Oh, you don’t want to think of it like that. I’m sorry about reminding you about that but… Wait… No, I’m not sorry you didn’t have shit to do with it. Is your pride married to the accomplishments of others or yourself? What did you accomplish this week? If your identity is wrapped around the accomplishments of others you may suck as a person.

The worlds cultural heritage is complex and sadly it is often horrifying but it isn’t always so. All throughout history many people have tried to do good things and live well but since they are people and not unicorns or The Ramones they had their flaws, what can we learn from them? Unless you are stupid you should already understand that nothing about culture or race is monolithic. Look at the individual first because if you do not you will repeat the mistakes of OUR ancestors without anyone learning all of the things they can they teach us.

Next time I’m going to explain to you why cultural appropriation is a good thing that should be encouraged and not just for the tacos, indoor plumbing and penicillin.

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I hate is here…

21st Century Stupidity

I once dated a girl that was a hypochondriac and she owned a medical dictionary. The dictionary was at least 10 years old at the time and maybe more and how up to date is was is questionable but even that isn’t completely relevant to the point I am making. Here is the point.  A medical dictionary lists the name of a disease the cause(s) and the symptoms. It can be a handy reference but unless you are a trained Medical Doctor or other medical professional you should not even pretend to use it to diagnose someone especially not yourself. Do you know how many diseases list one of the symptoms as “congestion”, “fever”, or “upset stomach”? It is half of the fucking dictionary. Do you have a fever? Well flit to any page at random and that will be a symptom of at least one if the diseases listed, and sometimes all of them. Some diseases have the exact same symptoms but different causes and very different outcomes. Yes I understand that your lymph nodes are swollen, you have a headache and a fever but you do not have the Bubonic Plague you have the Flu. Have you been coughing all day? No you don’t have Tuberculosis is just the dust from the roadwork outside your office building.

Why have I brought this all up? Because motherfuckers are getting dumber and dumber by the minute, diagnosing themselves with more and more afflictions they do not have and in some cases don’t actually exist. Yes WebMD might be able to help you understand what a disease is and maybe convince you to see a bloody physician but it isn’t there for you to diagnose yourself and they fucking tell you that morons.

Why am I yelling about this? Well today I saw an article where some asshat claimed they had PTSD from an election that happened in 2008! Yes not only did this person get PTSD from an election they were still suffering from it almost 8 years later. They might have mental problems but PTSD is not it. And if that isn’t crazy enough half the fucking planet now has ADHD, Autism and thinks they are trapped in the wrong body. I’m really a woman, I’m really a horse, I’m really a dragon, I’m a vampire. No, no you are not. You are a confused kid trying to get attention or tying out for the Oppression Olympics and you have been doing it for so long you forgot how it all started. Shitty parents, praise without accomplishment everyone gets a trophy bullshit, narcissism, the complete disregard for reason and accountability and everything on Tumblr. It is an entire generation acting like rich 12-year-old girls with daddy issues only they are 27 and male! Fuck some of these idiots are in their 30’s or older. It is like Pajama Boy morphed into an even more annoying pile of first world problem crybaby shit. Fuck you the funny feeling you are having right now isn’t PTSD it’s the small part of your brain that hasn’t completely given up trying to tell the rest of you I’m right and getting punched in the face by the rotting cesspit you have turned the rest of your mind into. You claim you got PTSD from someone disagreeing with you on Twitter while millions are being enslaved, raped and murdered around the world. You have gone so far beyond First World Problems that we need to think up a new name for it. You have created a new religion of stupid. A religion without grace or set theology but a million gods who are supposed to worship at the alter of the Great and Special Snowflake that is You. This twisted faith, a faith of the damned are required to worship all the strange inanities and feeling in the vast and rotting abyss that has replaced your brains or face the unyielding wrath of the thousands screaming Special Snowflakes as all else is lies and heresy. You are a howling tsunami of lunatics. You have invented religions too silly even for the type of people that join suicide cults.

I know why some of you are so angry. Because deep down you know it’s all bullshit but you can’t admit it. You have created this vast and intricate web of lies and deities and entrenched yourself so deeply into it that to give up now would be betraying everything you have created about yourself. You can’t grow up and you can’t stop because once you admit you may have been wrong about one thing you may have to admit you are wrong about other things, maybe even everything and then you will not be just the heretic you rage against you will be the apostate. You are weak as you have never learned true suffering or how to be strong. You have an ego but no accomplishments, self esteem with no true sense of self worth, you are a god unto yourself but only the pawn in a raging mob self proclaimed deities in a never ending holy war no one controls or understands. It is a holy war that cannot be won since its goals are nebulous at the best of times, its target are constantly changing subject to the whims of whatever voice can shout loudest in the mob at any given second claiming the papacy of the cause whatever it might be this minute as its holy commandments and scripture never mean the same thing twice. If that isn’t a good enough explanation of it what is going on I’ll give you a better one.

You are all so all the way down into the rabbit hole of ideological bullshit that your head is so far up rabbits ass you are looking at the back of his teeth and calling the his cavities racists, sexists, misogynists and whatever other “ists” you made up today.

I hate it here…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Horrible Advice From Your Uncle Drunken Llama

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to live your life, however it is much more entertaining.

Always have several fake names and extra cell phones that way you never have to give out the real ones.  Just make sure you don’t mix them up.

Never tell anyone you love them if they know your real name or where you live.

Never marry anyone who would have sex with you on the first date.  However you should try to get a couple more dates just for the fun of it.

Remember the proper etiquette in a strip club is whoever correctly guesses what drug the stripper is on gets the lap dance.

Speaking of strip clubs if you are in a private room for a lap dance and the stripper tells you that for an extra $300 you can put it anywhere, you can, but you shouldn’t.

Any woman that you just met at a bar that offers to buy you tequila shots will probably have sex with you that night.

When drinking with a woman always drink twice as much as she does that way you can always say later that she took advantage of you. *

If you shake more than twice you’re playing with it and if you don’t a bit will dribble down your leg.  It’s your call.

No matter how cracked and dry your skin is – even if it’s so obvious you can see it from space – and you are a man the lady behind the counter still thinks you are buying lotion to masturbate with.  The only way to counter this is to buy tampons and some milk that way they think you were sent on an errand by your wife or girlfriend.

Always treat people with dignity and respect, unless they don’t deserve it, then don’t, unless they pay you and you need to keep that job.

If you’re over the age of 18 and don’t own at least one good suit you are failing at life.  If you are over 30 and only own one good suit you are still failing.

Always remember to do your research before telling people you are a fighter pilot to impress people.  The Navy doesn’t use F-14′s anymore, has never used F-15′s and a B-52 isn’t a fighter so get your facts strait or you will look like an ass.  No matter how dense most of the people at the party are someone will know and they will call you on it as they should.

No matter how big you think you are she’s had better so stop worrying about it and just be happy some chick likes you.

Speaking of size; a very large cock is only impressive in porno.  In the real word it is usually uncomfortable at best and painful at worst.  Yeah, size matters but it’s more of a ratio between the smallest that works and the largest that works.

Getting 4 girls numbers at the same bar in one night always sounds cool and you can brag about it with your friends.  The problem is you were at a bar all night and trying to remember who was who and what you talked about is next to impossible unless you were dead sober and have a very good memory.  Therefor calling any of them can be risky.  Basically getting more than one number is pointless since there is a very small chance you will call any one them and if you do there is a large chance you will fuck it up.  But have fun and go for it.

Your ability to make a bong out of anything does not impress anyone worth impressing.  Also your ability to take large amounts of any drug without getting that fucked up also does not impress anyone worth impressing.**

Hypocrisy isn’t saying one thing and doing another, that’s screwing up.  Hypocrisy is saying people shouldn’t do something but saying  ”it’s OK when I do it”.

If you are visiting foreign countries and feel the need to lie about what country you are from you either shouldn’t be in that country or you are a little pussy bitch and your homeland would be better off if you didn’t come back.***

It’s rude to ask someone why they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend and never try to set them up with anyone you know.  If they aren’t good enough to even date one of you least favorite acquaintances just don’t bring up the subject.  The question is fine if you are only tying to find out what they like and dislike so you can help otherwise you’re just asking someone to bare their soul so you can judge, quietly.  Oh so quietly…

Just because Ideology can be dangerous doesn’t mean it will.  Just remember you need to continue to question and prove to yourself that it’s correct.  It’s not as easy as it sounds but if you aren’t even trying you have a very big problem.

Never fish for compliments; it’s tacky and shows a lack of class.

If you’re not proud of yourself it’s your fault.  but if you’re proud of yourself you better be able to prove why you should be.  Prove, not justify.  People can justify anything with the right amount of bullshit.

On that note.   You should never have to justify your actions they should be able to speak for themselves.

Intentions mean nothing if you make it worse.

Air travel always sucks so never pay too much for it and never get on an air line that wont let you walk onto the plane with an open beer in your hand.  Seriously you are always going to be late, it will always be cramped and they are going to lose your luggage but as long as it isn’t a Chinese air line or Delta and the flight attendants don’t give a crap that you walked onto the plane with your own six pack it will be the best you are going to get out of air travel.

Really fuck Delta.

When you wake up and don’t know where you are always make sure you still have your wallet and your gun.  If you don’t have either you fucked up since you should always keep both hidden in  place people won’t check when they try to rob your passed out ass.

If  your collage major has “Studies” at the end of it, it’s worthless.  People don’t major in Physics Studies, Electrical Engineering Studies, History Studies or Medicine Studies.  Hell they don’t even major in Philosophy Studies and a major in Philosophy is pretty much useless.  All a major in a “Studies” does if tell the rest of the world not only do you have no marketable skills any employer would ever need but you are stupid enough to spend a shit-load of money acquiering those lack of marketable skills.  You can train a moron that is willing to work hard to do a lot of things but you can’t train an idiot with a sense of entitlement and  bullshit college degree to do anything.

Love is like a fine wine.  It’s expensive, it must be aged carefully and sipped slowly.  It will also never last.

I’m joking unlike love a good wine exists and it’s much easier to get your hands on another decent bottle.

Fair fights only exist in boxing and movies.

 

*  This will probably not hold up in court since double standards are fun.

** Yes this is from a llama that spends his free time chugging scotch and lighting hippies on fire.  Fuck off.

*** Exceptions can be made for people that have to travel for work or charity reasons and need to keep a low profile.

Quote Of The Day

“A government is a body of people, usually notably, ungoverned. ” ~ Derrial Book

So How Old Does A Baby Have To Be Before It’s Infanticide And Not An Abortion?

In Alberta Canada a woman was given a suspended sentence for killing her newborn child.  The woman was 19 had a child in secret and strangled the baby with a pair of underwear and tossed the body into a neighbor’s yard and  got a suspended 3 year sentence for it meaning she doesn’t have to serve jail time unless she screws up again like killing another kid.  I guess that would give her a good 6 years for killing two kids.

The judge in the case was quoted saying:

“While many Canadians undoubtedly view abortion as a less than ideal solution to unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy, they generally understand, accept and sympathize with the onerous demands pregnancy and childbirth exact from mothers, especially mothers without support,” she writes… “Naturally, Canadians are grieved by an infant’s death, especially at the hands of the infant’s mother, but Canadians also grieve for the mother.”

Really?  you are grieving for the mother who murdered her child?  This isn’t even about abortion the kid was already born.  Mark Steyn called it a Fourth Trimester Abortion to shock people into understanding the implications of this ruling.  The thing is, is that this person (if you want to call them that) was an adult and in Canada abortion is legal so they could have had an abortion at any time.  Hell even if she wasn’t an adult last time I checked you can get an abortion in Canada when you are underage and they can’t inform the parents.

there are a lot of problems with this and the first is this really has nothing to do with abortion.  No matter what your view of abortion is this wasn’t one and had nothing to do with it so the fact that it is brought up by the judge as part of the defense of the accused is ludicrous.  If the judge was honest they would have said “eugenics should be legal so I’m going to give this woman a bullshit sentence since I can’t get away with giving her a medal and an iPad”.  The kid was already born, it’s not an abortion.  Another thing the judge did was bringing up how hard it is for someone to raise a kid by themselves as part of the defense of her bullshit sentence.  The woman lived at home and was already supported by her parents so it’s not like she didn’t have a home, or have to worry about paying the rent or anything since someone was already doing it for her.  She made the choice to have sex, then she made the choice to murder her own child.  She could have easily gone to an abortion clinic in Canada and gotten rid of the child (for free, if Canada’s health care is all free and shit) but instead she waited to have the child and then strangled it with some underwear and tossed the corpse into someones yard.  No one in a post-industrial country suffers that much where killing their child is excusable in any way especially one with the welfare state Canada has.

It only gets more fucked up:

“Next week, the court will hear arguments on a remaining issue from Effert’s long legal battle: the 16 days of jail time she still must serve for throwing her baby’s body over the fence.

Her lawyer, Peter Royal, asked the court to do away with the penalty or allow her to serve the time on weekends. It was “unjust” and “almost mean to incarcerate her” at this point, he argued.”

Really 16 days in jail for tossing a dead body into someone else’s yard and that is “unjust” and “almost mean” to put her in jail for that?  OK, you have a point on one of those.  It is unjust to only throw someone in jail for 16 days after murdering a child and tossing the body into the neighbors yard.  Hell tossing a dead baby (or any dead person) into the neighbors yard should be a lot longer of a prison sentence that 16 days.  even if you just found a corpse and tossed it into someone’s yard for shits-n-giggles you should at least do a couple years in jail and if you killed the baby in the first place since that should be an automatic trip to the electric chair.

Are there any sane people left in Canada?

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I hate it here…

Quote Of The Day: 911 Edition.

“I’ll just add here that commemorating 9/11 seems to me a stupid idea in
itself. A nation should commemorate its achievements, its moments of glory.
Low points like 9/11 should be passed over in grim silence, or marked by
launching a few well-aimed barrages of cruise missiles.” – John Derbyshire

 

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This is the truth.  Don’t forget it but don’t wallow in it.  Remember it, understand it, and break the fucks that did it so hard no one will ever try it again because they will remember not what they did so much as the consequences rained down upon them for doing it.

 

 

 

 

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