I’m Going to Culturally Appropriate The Shit Outta That.

Yep, I said it and that is what I’m fixing to do. Wait, one second I’m going to crack open a beer. Beer? Really did your people invent beer? Nope. Is it a beer native from my ancestral homeland? Also nope and I’m still gonna drink it. My people didn’t invent Tetris either but I’m still going to play the shit out of it when I’m waiting at the DMV.

Stop me. Please, go ahead and try to stop me cause I’m about to appropriate some motherfucking cultures. I’m going to zig when you thought I would zag and before you know it… something… Sports metaphor… something something… Yeah… there was a point in all of this and it was all about tacos.

I fucking love tacos! I also love English Common Law, beer, Representative Democracy, anything done to a sheep that involves curry and not sex, indoor plumbing and the aesthetics of pre-modern Japanese architecture. I love Japanese people playing Irish punk, German people playing Horror Punk and I’m still going to rock out to some metal from Botswana. Did I mention tacos? Have you ever had taco rice? It’s a common dish from Okinawa and it’s bloody awesome.

This isn’t some sort of multiculturalism BS where we have to fetishize other cultures this is just the reality of a world where we can know other cultures and learn from them while they learn from us and we don’t even have to kill each other to do it anymore. We can take the good things about those other people and incorporate them into ourselves. Did you know the potato is not native to Ireland or even Europe? Do you like Italian food? Who in their right mind doesn’t? Neither the tomato nor pasta originated in Italy. One didn’t even originate in the same hemisphere but for some reason Italy was able to take those two things mix them with some local delights and come up with glory.

Can you dig it?

No? Do you want to complain and be an over sensitive idiot? Fuck you I will keep going and you can’t do shit about it. Cultures and societies evolve in three ways. One is from changes and pressures within the society or culture, one from without or a mixture of both. Sometimes times they are exclusive of one another and other times they are the direct result of one another. Take a simple example of this from Japan. The Bakufu system (military rule by the Shogun vice rule by the Emperor) was from purely internal forces, the Meiji Restoration was the result of both internal and external forces and the current Japanese Constitution was the result of external forces. Is all change good? No, not always but sometimes it can be. You can argue that the Meiji restoration was a good thing in some ways for Japan but did lead towards the imperialism and horrors of WWII while at the same time setting up a basis where the current Japanese political system would end up being acceptable. The Meiji restoration led to both the idea of the Diet (the Japanese parliament) and the imperialism of the early 20th century. The idea of a constitutional monarchy was born there and continues. Now has it all been good? No but remember me talking about our ancestors before? By the time WWII happened England had shrugged off the worst of its decades long imperialist abuses although to the Imperialism while Japan continued them. Remember all our ancestors are horrible people but this was the difference between the two empires at that time. One while not good was and had been getting better and one was, well mostly all bad.

How does this tie in to appropriating culture? As countries, cultures, religions clash they exchange their ideas for better or worse and mankind has been doing it for the entirety of its existence. Hell half of mankind isn’t fully H. Sapiens. Remember all the Neanderthals we fucked and or killed to get where we are today? Chances are unless you are 100% sub-Saharan African and have zero relatives from Madagascar one of your ancestors is a Neanderthal or Denisovan. Hell even if you are 100% sub-Saharan African you could still have blue eyes or you could be from a Pacific island and have blonde hair and blue eyes and no dirty European blood required. Genetics is silly and sometimes fun.

If you don’t get it yet humans are a mixed race. We mix ideas while we bloodlines and make good and bad things with it. The Iroquois Confederacy had a profound effect on the American colonist as well as the Roman Republic, English Common Law, Christianity and Greek philosophy and Democracy. And that is just the bloody goat fucking start. The Ancient Greeks were making Buddhist art 2000 years before white hipster twats in SF where annoying people with their fake enlightenment. If you don’t believe me look up the history of the Hindu Kush.

Our societies and our cultures are built off of the collective knowledge of the societies and cultures that came before us, how they interacted, collaborated, fought and learned from one another. It wasn’t always pleasant and it wasn’t always nice but to stop this exchange would be the destruction and death of the progress and evolution of mankind. We need the cultural exchange. Without it we wouldn’t have modern fucking medicine, mathematics, physics, or fucking indoor plumbing and fuck you I’m not going to go back to shitting in a random hole and using leaves and unlucky squirrels for ass wipe. My Car is Japanese, the TV Korean but you know damn well the computer is American. I’m drinking a Canadian beer, my lunch was Italian, my dinner Indian and the last pair of shoes I bought was made in Vietnam. I’m going to eat sushi, adobo, jerk chicken or a burger and fries. I’ll listen to Opera, watch American football and eat tacos while I drink Gin, Saki and Soju. I’m going to listen to African folk tales while dancing to gypsy songs in the middle of Lima, Helsinki or Bangkok while you . I’m going to appropriate the fuck out of your culture and I’m going to serve you mine on a platter of gold and if you don’t like it you should try to shove the world up your ass because that is where your head is and for once you might be able to see the place.

In the end it won’t matter anyway since these guys already appropriated all the awesomeness that was left in the world.

 

Fuck all you hipster and SJW cunts.

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100,000 Years of Stupid

Hello people and the random sentient beings watching us angrily from the abyss. Since I haven’t been around for a while I’m going to take this slow and ease my way in back in to the swing of things. Don’t worry kids eventually I may get banned by the UN for my creative use of the English language, my ability to invent new and exciting obscenities and telling the truth but for now I’ll start off will telling you all that your culture sucks and your ancestors suck. Sorry did I forget to tell you that since you are no longer in your mother’s womb this is not only not a safe space but you will not be getting any participation trophies either. Yes, you, stop looking around thinking I’m talking to someone else. I’m talking to you. I’m talking to all of you and the more you think I’m talking to other people and this doesn’t apply to you the more it does so stop, quit down and listen before I beat you like your father should have done if he had stuck around. I know you don’t want to do that since people rarely like listening to anything that doesn’t conform to their preconceived notions and if for some reason you are already agreeing with me you better fucking stop that as well. You have no idea why I have said any of this yet so what exactly are you agreeing with? Are you agreeing with my ideas about your genetic or cultural heritage or your own biases and anger towards them? I don’t think we are in agreement, so stop, listen and wait to get angry till I have finished. You might learn something and if not its sounds like a whole lot of not my problem.

So let’s do this. Every single person on this planet is the descendent of rapists, slavers, genocidal maniacs, racists, murderers, imperialists, thieves and cannibals. Think about every horrible thing you can think of. Your ancestors did all of that and more. They did it to anyone and everyone they could find and they enjoyed it. And while your ancestors where doing that to everyone they could find everyone else’s ancestors where doing it to your ancestors and everyone they could find. Sometimes they even involved livestock in their shenanigans.

Are you angry? Are you uncomfortable? Good, now it’s time to learn something. None of this is your fault. Not a single thing your ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is your fault. And if we take that idea and expand on that idea not a single thing anyone else’s ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is their fault. The fault lies with individual person guilty of whatever crimes we want to talk about. Are you as an individual currently engaged in or have engaged in genocide, the slave trade, theft or rape? Has the person sitting next to you engaged in any of this behavior? Now since the answer on both accounts is most likely “no” unless you work at the UN I want you to stop and ask yourself this question. “If no ones ancestors are without flaws including my own should I be using the ancestors of others as a reason to hate that individual or in any way against them?”

There is one correct answer to that question.

Now remembering that everyone’s ancestors and culture at one time or another where horrible does that say that they always will be? Think back to history. Can people and culture change? Can they get better? Can they get worse? Yes they can on all accounts. You can look to history to see patterns, suggestions that a society is going from one to the other but that does not mean it will play out the same every time. Remember that time your culture invented something? Oh, I bet you can, now remember how you had absolutely nothing to do with it? Oh, you don’t want to think of it like that. I’m sorry about reminding you about that but… Wait… No, I’m not sorry you didn’t have shit to do with it. Is your pride married to the accomplishments of others or yourself? What did you accomplish this week? If your identity is wrapped around the accomplishments of others you may suck as a person.

The worlds cultural heritage is complex and sadly it is often horrifying but it isn’t always so. All throughout history many people have tried to do good things and live well but since they are people and not unicorns or The Ramones they had their flaws, what can we learn from them? Unless you are stupid you should already understand that nothing about culture or race is monolithic. Look at the individual first because if you do not you will repeat the mistakes of OUR ancestors without anyone learning all of the things they can they teach us.

Next time I’m going to explain to you why cultural appropriation is a good thing that should be encouraged and not just for the tacos, indoor plumbing and penicillin.

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I hate is here…

So How Old Does A Baby Have To Be Before It’s Infanticide And Not An Abortion?

In Alberta Canada a woman was given a suspended sentence for killing her newborn child.  The woman was 19 had a child in secret and strangled the baby with a pair of underwear and tossed the body into a neighbor’s yard and  got a suspended 3 year sentence for it meaning she doesn’t have to serve jail time unless she screws up again like killing another kid.  I guess that would give her a good 6 years for killing two kids.

The judge in the case was quoted saying:

“While many Canadians undoubtedly view abortion as a less than ideal solution to unprotected sex and unwanted pregnancy, they generally understand, accept and sympathize with the onerous demands pregnancy and childbirth exact from mothers, especially mothers without support,” she writes… “Naturally, Canadians are grieved by an infant’s death, especially at the hands of the infant’s mother, but Canadians also grieve for the mother.”

Really?  you are grieving for the mother who murdered her child?  This isn’t even about abortion the kid was already born.  Mark Steyn called it a Fourth Trimester Abortion to shock people into understanding the implications of this ruling.  The thing is, is that this person (if you want to call them that) was an adult and in Canada abortion is legal so they could have had an abortion at any time.  Hell even if she wasn’t an adult last time I checked you can get an abortion in Canada when you are underage and they can’t inform the parents.

there are a lot of problems with this and the first is this really has nothing to do with abortion.  No matter what your view of abortion is this wasn’t one and had nothing to do with it so the fact that it is brought up by the judge as part of the defense of the accused is ludicrous.  If the judge was honest they would have said “eugenics should be legal so I’m going to give this woman a bullshit sentence since I can’t get away with giving her a medal and an iPad”.  The kid was already born, it’s not an abortion.  Another thing the judge did was bringing up how hard it is for someone to raise a kid by themselves as part of the defense of her bullshit sentence.  The woman lived at home and was already supported by her parents so it’s not like she didn’t have a home, or have to worry about paying the rent or anything since someone was already doing it for her.  She made the choice to have sex, then she made the choice to murder her own child.  She could have easily gone to an abortion clinic in Canada and gotten rid of the child (for free, if Canada’s health care is all free and shit) but instead she waited to have the child and then strangled it with some underwear and tossed the corpse into someones yard.  No one in a post-industrial country suffers that much where killing their child is excusable in any way especially one with the welfare state Canada has.

It only gets more fucked up:

“Next week, the court will hear arguments on a remaining issue from Effert’s long legal battle: the 16 days of jail time she still must serve for throwing her baby’s body over the fence.

Her lawyer, Peter Royal, asked the court to do away with the penalty or allow her to serve the time on weekends. It was “unjust” and “almost mean to incarcerate her” at this point, he argued.”

Really 16 days in jail for tossing a dead body into someone else’s yard and that is “unjust” and “almost mean” to put her in jail for that?  OK, you have a point on one of those.  It is unjust to only throw someone in jail for 16 days after murdering a child and tossing the body into the neighbors yard.  Hell tossing a dead baby (or any dead person) into the neighbors yard should be a lot longer of a prison sentence that 16 days.  even if you just found a corpse and tossed it into someone’s yard for shits-n-giggles you should at least do a couple years in jail and if you killed the baby in the first place since that should be an automatic trip to the electric chair.

Are there any sane people left in Canada?

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I hate it here…

People Want Higher Taxes. For You, Not them.

So the other day* Obama claimed the other day the 80% of America wanted higher taxes?  Um, right.  OK lets pretend this is true.  How many of those people want higher taxes for themselves?  I’m going to go with a lot less than 80%, there are people out there that want higher taxes but for other people or on things they don’t use but I doubt anywhere close to 80% that Obama claims want higher taxes for themselves (maybe 3%).  It’s always easy to get support for taxing the crap out of someone else, the rich (whatever someone’s personal idea of who is rich), corporations and smokers are always easy targets but tell people that you are going to make say the 50% of the public that doesn’t pay income tax or try to tax a union members benefits package and suddenly the idea of taxes is a horrible thing and you are a horrible person for mentioning it.  See almost no one wants to pay higher taxes since everyone wants to keep as much of their money as they can but there are a lot of people out there that have no problem with making other people pay higher taxes because really “fuck them I want my benefits but don’t really want to pay for it”.  See people look at all the crap the government gives away and say “Hey free shit gimme, gimme, gimme” and either don’t know that nothing is or can be free or frankly don’t care because they honestly believe they shouldn’t have to work for or take care of themselves, and that’s just sad.  They say the rich are greedy and that might be true but people are greedy when they’re poor too so it’s really just hypocrisy and class warfare rather than a real statement of some great truth.  You want truth.  People can be greedy. there is your truth.  No qualifiers just that one sentence.  People can also be nice, heroic, cowardly, deceitful, attractive, ugly, loving, hateful and short.  Once again it’s truth because people can be all of those and some people can be many of those together since people can be contradictory.  It’s not about how much money you have that makes you something it’s about what you do with your life.  Yes life can be easier if you have money but even money doesn’t always make life easy but that is another rant.

There are a lot of people out there that think the government is a charity organization and expect people (usually other people) to pay for that.  That’s wrong the government isn’t a charity organization and forcing other people to pay for you pet projects or your causes isn’t charity.  What people who want higher taxes really want is to redistribute other people wealth, and I really do mean other people’s since if they really wanted more money to go to this or that they could take out their checkbook and hold off on that new Blu-Ray player or iPad.   But no we don’t want that we want other people to pay, hell a lot of people as I already said don’t even want to pay for their own stuff and want to make other do it, that’s why you have people calling cell phones, vacations and internet access civil rights that the government should pay for (or in other words taxes payers).

 

I know Obama once said he actually believes his own bullshit but he doesn’t really believe this “80% of people want higher taxes” bullshit does he?  I might buy it if he had said 45% of the US populations want’s higher taxes and 97% of those people want higher taxes for other people.  Even if somehow this 80% number was true what are the reasons for this number?  Remember kids statistics can lie if you don’t know the reason(s) behind the numbers.

 

I’ll say it like this if you want higher taxes for other people but not yourself, fuck you.  If you want higher taxes for other people and don’t pay income tax at all, fuck yourself twice.

 

 

*FYI usually when I say “the other day” it means anywhere from a week to 3 years ago just in case anyone wanted to complain this was from a couple of months ago.  That and I started this rant then but didn’t get back to it till now.

 

 

 

I hate it here…

Quote Of The Day

Ah marriage, the reason men build bars.

– Chief Tyrol

It’s from  Battlestar Galactica, I’m a nerd so what of it?

Friday Night Music: The Undead “When The Evening Comes”

Yes, The Undead!  For those who don’t know the singer and guitarist is Bobby Steele and was is The Misfits.  He then started The Undead who are really, really good.  And if you don’t agree with me eatabagofshit!*

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* If you get this you are either a slightly confused fan of the show Red Eye or know the band Crayon Death.  Maybe both…  They are both good things you know… What, you don’t?  Are you really going to piss off the Drunken Llama like that?  You are?  Good luck fuckers see you in hell…

Book Reviews Of the Damned: Victorian Love and The Walking Dead

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies the other day, a collaboration between the author Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, well it was sort of a collaboration since one of the authors is dead and as far as I know not yet a hunting the sweet, sweet brains on the man who turned her book into a comedic and Victorian version of a Romero film.  Although Ms. Austen might be a walking corpse giving out writing tips to authors trying to turn her book into a collage prank to score some of the tasty head meat from the runaway kids locked in the certain publishers basement, I don’t have any proof of that yet but I’m on to you Mr. Borgenicht.

I loved this book, it worked seamlessly, and while I have not read the original (since I mostly only read non-fiction) I didn’t notice any change in writing style between what was naturally Austen’s work and Grahme-Smith’s (other than the Zombies of course and the more oviouse sexual inuendo).  The book was good, yes it’s a joke but it’s funny.  Considering I have spent way too much time watching bad horror films Mystery Science Theater 3000 and drinking this book was perfect for me, if you are either a current Literature Major in collage or already have a collage degree in it you can spend the next twenty years bitching about it at your job at Starbucks with all the people that got a degree in Philosophy or Woman Studies.

The book ends with discussion questions as if made for a collage class, although much like the whole idea of the book it’s a joke as well.  While I won’t give it away so you’ll have to read it yourself I will tell you that the answer to question 7:

No, not one, in either version.

Now if only someone could find a way to put  zombies or penguins with machine guns into Edward Gibbon’s The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire I’d be more than half way through it.

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