100,000 Years of Stupid

Hello people and the random sentient beings watching us angrily from the abyss. Since I haven’t been around for a while I’m going to take this slow and ease my way in back in to the swing of things. Don’t worry kids eventually I may get banned by the UN for my creative use of the English language, my ability to invent new and exciting obscenities and telling the truth but for now I’ll start off will telling you all that your culture sucks and your ancestors suck. Sorry did I forget to tell you that since you are no longer in your mother’s womb this is not only not a safe space but you will not be getting any participation trophies either. Yes, you, stop looking around thinking I’m talking to someone else. I’m talking to you. I’m talking to all of you and the more you think I’m talking to other people and this doesn’t apply to you the more it does so stop, quit down and listen before I beat you like your father should have done if he had stuck around. I know you don’t want to do that since people rarely like listening to anything that doesn’t conform to their preconceived notions and if for some reason you are already agreeing with me you better fucking stop that as well. You have no idea why I have said any of this yet so what exactly are you agreeing with? Are you agreeing with my ideas about your genetic or cultural heritage or your own biases and anger towards them? I don’t think we are in agreement, so stop, listen and wait to get angry till I have finished. You might learn something and if not its sounds like a whole lot of not my problem.

So let’s do this. Every single person on this planet is the descendent of rapists, slavers, genocidal maniacs, racists, murderers, imperialists, thieves and cannibals. Think about every horrible thing you can think of. Your ancestors did all of that and more. They did it to anyone and everyone they could find and they enjoyed it. And while your ancestors where doing that to everyone they could find everyone else’s ancestors where doing it to your ancestors and everyone they could find. Sometimes they even involved livestock in their shenanigans.

Are you angry? Are you uncomfortable? Good, now it’s time to learn something. None of this is your fault. Not a single thing your ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is your fault. And if we take that idea and expand on that idea not a single thing anyone else’s ancestors have ever done throughout all of history is their fault. The fault lies with individual person guilty of whatever crimes we want to talk about. Are you as an individual currently engaged in or have engaged in genocide, the slave trade, theft or rape? Has the person sitting next to you engaged in any of this behavior? Now since the answer on both accounts is most likely “no” unless you work at the UN I want you to stop and ask yourself this question. “If no ones ancestors are without flaws including my own should I be using the ancestors of others as a reason to hate that individual or in any way against them?”

There is one correct answer to that question.

Now remembering that everyone’s ancestors and culture at one time or another where horrible does that say that they always will be? Think back to history. Can people and culture change? Can they get better? Can they get worse? Yes they can on all accounts. You can look to history to see patterns, suggestions that a society is going from one to the other but that does not mean it will play out the same every time. Remember that time your culture invented something? Oh, I bet you can, now remember how you had absolutely nothing to do with it? Oh, you don’t want to think of it like that. I’m sorry about reminding you about that but… Wait… No, I’m not sorry you didn’t have shit to do with it. Is your pride married to the accomplishments of others or yourself? What did you accomplish this week? If your identity is wrapped around the accomplishments of others you may suck as a person.

The worlds cultural heritage is complex and sadly it is often horrifying but it isn’t always so. All throughout history many people have tried to do good things and live well but since they are people and not unicorns or The Ramones they had their flaws, what can we learn from them? Unless you are stupid you should already understand that nothing about culture or race is monolithic. Look at the individual first because if you do not you will repeat the mistakes of OUR ancestors without anyone learning all of the things they can they teach us.

Next time I’m going to explain to you why cultural appropriation is a good thing that should be encouraged and not just for the tacos, indoor plumbing and penicillin.

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I hate is here…

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Oh My God Susan Feinberg Is Angry With You For Doing Something That Has Nothing To Do With Something Else, Run For The Hills!!!! Wait… Who The Hell Is Susan And Why Should I care?

 

 

“Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), a leading advocate of shrinking entitlement spending and the architect of the plan to privatize Medicare, spent Wednesday evening sipping $350 wine with two like-minded conservative economists at the swanky Capitol Hill eatery Bistro Bis.” 

 

Um, so someone went to dinner with some other people he knows.  This is news because it’s not like this doesn’t happen all the fucking time or anything so why is this news?

 

“Susan Feinberg, an associate business professor at Rutgers, was at Bistro Bis celebrating her birthday with her husband that night. When she saw the label on the bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru Ryan’s table had ordered, she quickly looked it up on the wine list and saw that it sold for an eye-popping $350, the most expensive wine in the house along with one other with the same pricetag.”

 

So some people who have money got something expensive at a restaurant?  Still why is this news?

 

“Feinberg, an economist by training, was even more appalled when the table ordered a second bottle. She quickly did the math and figured out that the $700 in wine the trio consumed over the course of 90 minutes amounted to more than the entire weekly income of a couple making minimum wage.

 

“We were just stunned,” said Feinberg, who e-mailed TPM about her encounter later the same evening. “I was an economist so I started doing the envelope calculations and quickly figured out that those two bottles of wine was more than two-income working family making minimum wage earned in a week.”

Oh my god rich people ordering something that poor people can’t afford!!!  Wait still why is that news?

 

“She was outraged that Ryan was consuming hundreds of dollars in wine while Congress was in the midst of intense debates over whether to cut seniors’ safety net, and she didn’t know whether Ryan or his companions was going to pay for the wine and whether the two men were lobbyists. She snapped a few shots with her cell phone to record the wine purchase.”

 

Oh, I know because someone has a political agenda that’s why.   My question was if Mrs.  Feinberg is so annoyed by rich people spending money at an expensive restaurant why the hell was she at the same place?  I bet even if she didn’t get that expensive bottle of wine her meal was a lot more than a person making minimum wage could afford for a night out.    OK leaving all that aside for the moment was the meal paid for by the taxpayers?  Wait, no it wasn’t so why should you care?  Now don’t give me the bullshit about since he is in Congress he gets paid by the taxpayers so it is the public’s money because it isn’t and while I do think they get paid too much once we give it to them it’s theirs to do with as they like.  Even pay too much for booze, something Paul Ryan even admitted was too expensive and since he didn’t know the price at the time would not have done had he known.  Yeah, like you’ve never done that.

 

Now back to Mrs. Feinberg.  You are an economics professor and angry about people who have money spending it during a recession, are you insane?  I might not be some obnoxious economics professor (full disclosure; I studied music before I switched to history and political science) but last time I checked in the type of economy we have that people spending money helps the economy rather than hurts it and in a recession/depression/whatever the fuck this is most people are not spending enough money to get us out of this shit so every little bit helps.  I can honestly say that you should never take an economics class (or probably any class) with Mrs. Feinberg.

 

I understand the lobbyist thing but let’s not get into a selective outrage debate since its par for the course in D.C. and it’s not like any side is less guilty. Plus they weren’t lobbyist and Mrs. Feinberg didn’t know who they were she just assumed they were lobbyists (as in she decided to get angry with people she knew nothing about in a situation she knew nothing about AKA she fucked up).  So what is the real issue here?  The real issue is that “she was outraged that Ryan was consuming hundreds of dollars in wine while Congress was in the midst of intense debates over whether to cut seniors’ safety net”.  Let me explain something to you.  A person, with money, buying expensive hooch (while silly) has nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing with the fact that the U.S. government is fucking broke and bleeding money every fucking second and some people in the government are trying to find way to spend less money the government doesn’t have.  Remember Mrs. Feinberg is an economics professor, you know the people who should know that if you don’t have any money and if you are in trillions of dollars of debt and have no way of paying it off you might want to look at your finances and start cutting your expenses.  Let me explain some things to you.  There is nothing, and I mean nothing in the Constitution that requires or ever pretends to suggest the government provide anyone with medical care or a retirement fund.  Hell half of the Constitution is telling the government what it can’t do.  So when the government spends too much money and is broke (like now)  we can spend what money we have on the things specifically mentioned in the Constitution (such as national defense) and start spending less money on things not mentioned (and depending on your viewpoint on the subject possibly unconstitutional) such as Social Security (the world’s only legal ponzi scheme) and Medicare/Medicaid or we can let the government dig an even deeper hole until even Greece and Zimbabwe are laughing at us.  Yes we can raise taxes but there is a thing you might have heard about called diminishing returns, the Laffer curve, and the fact that only 50% of the public is required to pay income tax.  As an economics professor Mrs. Feinberg should have heard all of this someplace.  She should also have heard of Keynesian economics something from this guy John Maynard Keynes all the liberals love but don’t understand what he really meant.  Keynes believed to get out of a depression you did need government intervention and deficit spending however the deficit spending was supposed to be short term and not continuous as how government currently works and during this period it was supposed to be augmented with tax cuts so people had more money to spend in order to jumpstart the economy.  Currently the people who use the Keynes model go for tax increases and continuous deficit spending so are therefore bastardizing Keynesian economics into something Keynes never intended and – while I have no proof of this since we were never friends and he’s dead – would reject as stupid and dangerous.  As an economics professor Mrs. Feinberg should know all of this.  Apparently she doesn’t, so I say again never take a class she teaches.

 

Let’s keep going with this evening out…

 

“After ending their meal and paying the check, Feinberg decided to give Ryan a piece of her mind. She approached the table and asked Ryan “how he could live with himself” sipping expensive wine while advocating for cuts to programs for seniors and the poor. Some verbal jousting between Feinberg and the other two men ensued. One of the two men said he had ordered the wine, was drinking it and paying for it. In hearing how much the wine cost, Ryan said only: “Is that how much it was?”

 

I hate it when people I don’t know feel the need to preach to me in public, or to put it another way if, I am having dinner/playing darts/drinking with friends/doing anything and I am not bothering you (as in talking to you or actually doing something to you) I hate it when people feel the need to get in my face and start lecturing me on anything.  I don’t do it to other people because it’s rude.  Hell, I have a friend and half of what we do is get into political debates (or well, we will debate anything but usually politics, comic books or anime, we are nerds)  and if someone butts in no matter what side they are for one of us will play devil’s and we will both go after them simply because you have annoyed us buy butting in so we will go after you till you leave us alone.  We don’t always do this, if the person butts in but has something relevant to say, isn’t an ass about it and has something to add to the conversation we will let them into the debate and new friends can be made.  However attacking people you don’t know (yes Mr. Ryan is a public figure but the other people were not and you don’t know him you know of him, there is a difference) and don’t know you, and yes in this situation it was an attack you are just being rude and annoying.  I don’t confront celebrities on the street to tell them I thought their last movie/album sucked and if I saw a politician on the street or in a restaurant I didn’t like I would let them eat their fucking dinner since if they don’t agree with me yelling at them only makes my side of the argument look bad.  Even if I liked the guy I probably wouldn’t even bother talking to them because maybe they just want to be left alone with some friends and relax.  Now if the guy sat down at the bar next to me I might talk to them but talking (not attacking) someone sitting next to you at a bar is common and how friends are made even with people you don’t always agree with.  Harassing people eating dinner or any meal for that matter is one of the rudest and most annoying things you can do right after lighting someone on fire above bringing a crying baby into a movie theater.

 

More bullshit from Mrs. Feinberg…

 

“It was my birthday, and I’d had half a bottle of great wine with dinner,” she wrote in an e-mail to TPM. “I wasn’t drunk, but I was certainly emboldened to speak my mind.”

 

OK, I will admit half a bottle of wine doesn’t get me drunk but I have a high tolerance so neither does a six pack, but after a six pack I’m never “emboldened to speak my mind” to random strangers because I don’t like their view on economic policy while they are having dinner.  If she wasn’t drunk she was at least buzzed enough to irritate people but even if she wasn’t drunk or the booze had no effect on her it still doesn’t excuse her behavior.  Hell if she was drunk that still doesn’t excuse her behavior.  I never try to excuse my behavior when I’m drunk by saying I was drunk.  I admit that while I might have been drunk I should not have done/said what I did and apologize for it.  Would I have done/said the same thing sober?  No, no I would not have done (fill in the blank) but being drunk does not excuse my behavior it just might help explain why I was an asshole but I was still an asshole and for that I would still have to make amends.  What she should have said was “I saw a politician I don’t agree with eating dinner so I started a fight because I’m a bitch and have poor self control”.  Did she? No, instead she got angry that they were annoyed that she was being a bitch and accused them of being “confrontational”.

 

Oh boo fucking hoo!  Really, are you serious?  You accost me anywhere I’m going to get “confrontational” with you.  You’re verbally attacking someone trying to eat dinner (something I would call “confrontational”) what the hell do you expect?  To me bothering people while they’re eating is right up there with telemarketing at midnight in the T. Yamamoto book of rude things to do to people.  You just don’t do it and if you absolutely have to do it you apologize about a million times while doing it.  If I am at a store buying a CD and you – someone I don’t know – decide to start telling me how much you hate that band and how much I should like that band and how there is something wrong with me for liking it I’m going to tell you to “fuck off” and if I am eating dinner and you walk up to my table I’m going to tell you to “fuck off”  and if you don’t because you are so important and what you believe is so important (Mrs. Feinberg) that you can’t just walk the hell away and leave people alone I’m going to get “confrontational” in the hope you will leave so I can get back to living my life without your annoying bullshit.  This is the kind of person that would walk up to a person and punch them in the face and then get angry that the person fought back.  Oh, right it’s OK when you do it I understand. Wait no, no I don’t fuck you.  If you start a fight don’t cry about it when people fight back.    I hate hypocrites but the worst kind are the ones that want you to feel sorry for them when they pull their bullshit.

 

Mrs. Feinberg works at Rutgers University as an economics professor.  Under no circumstances should you attend Rutgers if Mrs. Feinberg even remotely represents the professors there and you sure as hell shouldn’t go there for economics.

 

 

 

 

I hate it here…

 

 

News Clips From Around The World Of Stupid

Yep it’s that time again, the time to make fun of some of the recent news stories.  I know you are all as excited as TSA agent when they see a small child so let’s get started.

Remember If You Don’t Support Cop Killers You Hate Children.

“Between negotiating for more benefits and teaching their students, the California Federation of Teachers has adopted a resolution of support for convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal.”

I don’t need more of a reason to hate teachers unions than I already do (I went to public school).  But seriously this is what they are worried about?  A fucking cop killer?  The man was a racist and killed a cop over a traffic ticket and admitted to doing so.  Well until he realized he had a thousand useful idiots out there that would back him and did want to ride the lightning changed his tune.  I really don’t know how this guy hasn’t been executed yet other than bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit.  Anyway, of all the things the teachers union could be worried about they are worried about this?  50% of our children can’t read or compute at their grade level and we are yelling about a convicted cop killer?  For those of you who don’t remember how grades worked in school getting 50% on a test meant you failed.   No matter how stupid, ignorant or crazy the demands of the teachers unions are any time you disagree with them their only answer is to scream about how much you must hate children and then they waste their time on this crap?  How about this; if you want better pay and benefits show us the children are learning more and doing better in school and actually earn the higher paychecks.  Right now all you are doing is crying like babies and running off on idiotic crusades to help cop killers. Also California is broke, the country is broke how much money do you think there really is to spend?  I don’t hate teachers, although there are quite a few I did hate and I can honestly say most of the teachers I have had in my life dealing with the public schools were not very good with many being downright terrible, but I don’t hate them all.  I can say I had 4 good teachers sadly it doesn’t sound as good when you remember I had 4 good ones during 12 years of schooling and each year of schooling I had at least 6 teachers.  So for all the BS yelling about people hating children I look at it like this, if you support the teachers unions you are the ones who really hate children.

That and Mumia needs to get executed already.

Because Terrorists Have High Moral Standards

“Meet Nagla Al-Imam, an Egyptian lawyer who suggests a novel form of “resistance” for Palestinian “fighters” contra Israel: Sexually harass Israeli women.

Al-Iman assures us that this won’t lead to rape, because resistance fighters’ “morals” are much “loftier” than that. But even if it does, she says, Israeli women would have no “right” to be upset, for this would merely square them with the Palestinians whose land they rape. And “few things,” Al-Iman tells us “are as grave as the rape of land.”

You have to see it to believe it, folks.”

Yeah this would never lead to rape especially since the only countries I know about that punish rape victims for being raped are run by Moslems since Moslems never rape anyone ever.

Or murder kids…

I love the part where she is asked by the reporter if this is will get people to break sexual harassment laws and she just basically say we don’t have any so who cares.  She doesn’t even act like it’s a bad thing they don’t have any.  This lady literally says that while she knows these “freedom fighter” have such high morals that they would never rape a woman (because the Islamists in Iran never raped women in prison so they wouldn’t have to execute a virgin for example), but if they did who cares and the woman because she is Israeli has no right to be upset.  Yeah the woman deserved it for being Israeli. I really, really hate the Middle East.

Suicide Solution

“Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal – over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.

The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’

Yeah, sounds like a great idea asshole.   You are such a piece of shit you cheated on your wife while she was dying of cancer and then you pull a bunch of illegal bullshit moves to try to hide it and what upsets you is the thought of going to jail and actually paying the consequences?  You still have children, your children just lost their mother and you and going to kill yourself and make them orphans instead of spending a year or two in jail?  I knew the guy was a piece of shit years ago but I didn’t know he was this bad (I’m not surprised though, I really wish I was, but I’m not).  OK this might all be bullshit I don’t know if it is true but if it is fucking hell.  The sad thing is the end of the article makes it sound like the person who wrote this is trying to make us feel bad for the guy.  No, no I do not, in fact I feel even less bad than I already did for him.  It doesn’t make me happy it just kinda makes me hate him, and I really don’t want to care about the fucker enough to hate him.

Apparently The U.N. Hasn’t Filled It’s Quotient Of Crazy This Month. 

“UNITED NATIONS — Bolivia will this month table a draft United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans — having just passed a domestic law that does the same for bugs, trees and all other natural things in the South American country.

The bid aims to have the UN recognize the Earth as a living entity that humans have sought to “dominate and exploit” — to the point that the “well-being and existence of many beings” is now threatened.”

This reminds me of the term “Watermelon”.  It’s someone who is green on the outside and red on the inside.  Meaning it’s a communist using environmental issues to push communism.  Especially since Bolivia’s laws specifically said they need to “end capitalism”.  The funy thing about this is that we are talking about the U.N.  Most of the member states of the U.N. are dictatorships with no freedom or human rights so are they going to give the earth the same rights they give their own people? I can’t wait till someone tries to say we are raping Mother Earth and Iran puts on trial for adultery and tries to stone her to death or China tries to throw Mother earth in Jail and execute her for saying something they don’t like and selling her organs on the black market.  Maybe Saudi Arabia will try to execute Mother Earth for apostasy or Cuba might try to jail her for reactionary thought.  The Sudan will try to sell her into slavery and England will bring her up on hate crimes charges for that natural disaster that hiss anyone who isn’t white.  And we can all have a good time yelling at Mother Earth because she doesn’t distribute her natural resources evenly and bring her up on trial for that.  It’s as if the U.N. is the longest running Monty Python sketch only it’s dead serious and there is always a chance it will get you killed, raped or starved to death.

Another question I has is if a natural disaster happens in a poor country do we charge Mother Nature with a hate crime or class warfare?

Obama Has The Worst Collection Of Pokemon.

“HONOLULU — The Honolulu Police Department confirmed that a close friend of President Barack Obama was arrested Monday in connection with a prostitution sting case.

Police arrested Bobby Titcomb, 49, a Punahou School classmate of Obama, at 9:40 p.m. in downtown Honolulu at the corner of Pohukaina and South streets. He was released after posting $500 bail, police said.

Police arrested four men in connection with a reverse prostitution sting involving a fake online female escort website, sources said.

The offense is considered a misdemeanor. Titcomb’s initial court appearance is scheduled May 2.

Titcomb usually spends the holidays with the president and his family when they spend time in Hawaii. He has been seen playing golf and attending picnics with the president.

The first family attended a barbecue at Ticomb’s Waialua home in December.”

There was the Racist, the Terrorist, the Communist what else does he need to collect them all?

Target Is A 13 Year Old Male In Possession Of A Tuna Sandwich And Some Pudding, Should I Take The Shot Sir? 

“Chicago school bans some lunches brought from home

To encourage healthful eating, Chicago school doesn’t allow kids to bring lunches or certain snacks from home — and some parents, and many students, aren’t fans of the policy”

I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the schools to provide lunch for children it’s the parent’s job.  This is where we all pause for a moment so you can yell about how much I hate children.  OK now that we have that bullshit out of the way we can move on.  I remember the lunches when I was in school and healthy wasn’t the first word I would use to describe them but I’m sure Chicago runs their school lunch programs better than they ran Cabrini-Green.  I really don’t know if this is to take more control away from parents or just to line the pockets of the contractors that provide the school lunches (for a nice little donation during election time of course), but it doesn’t matter it’s wrong either way.  Yeah some parents won’t take care of their children but unless the state is going to put them in a group home there isn’t much you can do about that.  The thing is this is taking away the right of the parents that do take care of their children.  I remember the packed lunches I got when my parents still made them for me.  It was a sandwich (meat, cheese, lettuce, pickle and tomato) a small bag of chips/popcorn (oh noes!!!) and a piece of fruit (usually a banana, apple or orange).  Sounds like I got all the food groups covered there.  Then I switched to the school lunch program (because I was old enough to make my own lunch but was lazy so my parents just paid for the school lunch) and I ate pizza or nachos every day (because it was the only things they served that could be considered edible.    Hell the school lunches we so small I would get two of them every day.  Granted I never eat breakfast unless I work out in the morning so I always eat a large lunch but that doesn’t matter.  I’m not fat, I never was fat.  I wasn’t some health nut in school and only started to work out semi-regularly recently so that wasn’t why I wasn’t a fat ass as a kid.  It was because my parents threw me outside and told me to play, so I did and as I got older I did other things like play drums (if you practice for a while it’s a good workout).  If you are really worried about the kids make gym class more demanding that was the whole point if it to make kids get some exercise anyway so use it.  Forcing kids to eat the terrible school lunches is putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb.  You can tell yourself you are helping but you aren’t even pretending to get to the root of the problem.  Hell the whole point of school lunches in the first place was to make sure the kids whose parents weren’t taking care of them wouldn’t go hungry at lunch time because their parents were too poor or lazy to make the kid lunch and now we are using more and more tax dollars to feed kids whose parents have the money to feed their kids.  My tax dollars are going to feed the children of people that make more money than I do.  One of the kids I went to school with father was and still is a US Congressman.  Are you saying that kid needed the school to make him lunch or he would starve?  He did however leave the school after 2 years to transfer to a private school because our school sucked bad and he had pissed off one of the local gang members that went there.

More from the article:

Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.

“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.

Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”

Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”

I like this kid.

“At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.”

Yes we must protect you from yourself, or your parents…

“Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.”

And part of that money helps line people’s reelection campaigns.
“At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.”

I know it’s a running joke that healthy food tastes bad but it’s not true.  Everyone loves beef stew and it’s not that hard to use low-fat beef and put a lot of vegetables in there, make it nice and healthy and serve it over rice or pasta.  Everyone loves stir-fry and it’s not that hard to make without using that much oil and it’s filled with healthy things.  You want a healthy burrito?  Throw in some black beans, lettuce, cheese, olives, onions, tomatoes and some rice and not only to you have a very good burrito but it tastes good and the kids would love it.  But you won’t do that because you think burritos aren’t healthy.   People act like the only thing you can eat is rice cakes and tofu burgers to eat healthy (at least 8% of rice cakes don’t taste like Styrofoam and ass, tofu on the other hand always tastes like shit).  It’s bullshit.  Hell you learn about the food pyramid in school and they can’t figure out how to use it to make healthy food that tastes good?

“For many CPS parents, the idea of forbidding home-packed lunches would be unthinkable. If their children do not qualify for free or reduced-price meals, such a policy would require them to pay $2.25 a day for food they don’t necessarily like.”

“We don’t spend anywhere close to that on my son’s daily intake of a sandwich (lovingly cut into the shape of a Star Wars ship), Goldfish crackers and milk,” education policy professor Diane Whitmore Schanzenbach wrote in an email. Her son attends Nettelhorst Elementary School in Lakeview. “Not only would mandatory school lunches worsen the dietary quality of most kids’ lunches at Nettelhorst, but it would also cost more out of pocket to most parents! There is no chance the parents would stand for that.”

Not only is this parent making her family is fed but she is taking the time to make it fun.  Think about how much better a child is going to do in school when they know that they have that lunch made with love for them every day.  It sounds a lot better than some grumpy lunch lady (it’s a stereotype I know but when I was in school it was 100% correct) dumping slop onto a tray.

I love the end of the article though.

“Many Little Village students claim that, given the opportunity, they would make sound choices.

“They’re afraid that we’ll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won’t be as good as what they give us at school,” said student Yesenia Gutierrez. “It’s really lame. If we could bring in our own lunches, everyone knows what they’d bring. For example, the vegetarians could bring in their own veggie food.”

“I would bring a sandwich or a Subway and maybe a juice,” said seventh-grader Ashley Valdez.

Second-grader Gerardo Ramos said, “I would bring a banana, orange and some grapes.”

“I would bring a juice and like a sandwich,” said fourth-grader Eric Sanchez.

“Sometimes I would bring the healthy stuff,” second-grader Julian Ruiz said, “but sometimes I would bring Lunchables.”

Is it always going to be that healthy?  No.  Who cares there is nothing wrong with a pizza, some fried chicken or a burger.  You just eat more than just that.  Sometimes you want a salad and sometimes you want hot-wings and there is nutritional value in both and there are things you get in one you can’t get in the other.  That’s why we have the food pyramid because you need it all, you just need it in the proper amounts.  Yesterday I have fried chicken, mash potatoes and green beans with bacon for lunch.  For dinner I had a very large salad.  I got everything I needed (other than the grains since I don’t think the breading is enough to qualify for the whole serving) but I live.  The other day I had a half a bag of potato chips and a giant bowl of broccoli for dinner.  Yeah my eating habits are weird but I get what I need.  See parents know what their children will eat.  They know the kid won’t eat brussel sprouts but they will eat green beans, carrots or corn.  I didn’t eat brussel sprouts or asparagus when I was a kid (I do now) but I loved broccoli and mixed vegetables as long as there wasn’t any types of squash or mushrooms in it (still won’t eat either).  And every kid will eat a fruit cup just as fast as they would eat Jell-o or pudding.  Parents know this and they know what their kid will eat and how to get them to eat healthy food yet for some reason the people running the school (many who have children) can’t figure this shit out.

I hate to admit when a dirty hippy is at least a little right but in this case I will.  Go to this link and it gives a nice suggestion on making a kid a healthy lunch they will eat  (you don’t need to use the organic/free-range/overpriced whatever they want you to though.  It’s about the bento boxes (they are not usually as fancy as the ones on the last link though) they have in Japan and a little bit on how to make them on your own.  The idea of a bento is that it’s a box with several compartments that you put different foods in and it is a common lunch thing in Japan.  I eat them quite often for lunch.  It’s usually a main dish, some rice, a vegetable, some pickles and some fruit but there are a lot of different varieties, I like the tonkatsu (it’s fried and breaded pork cutlet with this awesome sauce called tonkatsu sauce – the best being the Bulldog brand) or meat loaf ones.  There are ones made to be hot and ones made to be cold.  Either way, they are good and you can make them with different leftovers to save money.

After I wrote all this I say something that said the Principle in question backtracked and said she was taken out of context or that she didn’t mean to say what it sounded like she said.  It sounds more like when a bunch of people got angry she tried to back herself out of it.

Wendy’s Has New Fries And In Other News The Reporter May Have Been Paid To Plug A Different Food Joint In this Article. 

“When Wendy’s (NYSE: WENNews) created its Natural Cut Fries With Sea Salt, which it introduced last fall and is now promoting in new TV ads this week, the company’s product development team found a way to leave the potato skins on, make the fries crispier and give them a much tastier flavor. What they didn’t manage to do, however, is make the fries an actual all-natural product. That, says CMO Ken Calwell, would be too difficult given fast food customers’ demands for items that are cheap and can be hoisted through a car window.”

Last time I checked Fark.com has a whole section on advertisements masquerading as news.  This is one of those things.  The thing about it is why the lady that wrote the article keeps mentioning Five Guys as if they are either the greatest thing on the planet or the standard to what all food should be held too.  That or she got paid a bunch of money by Five Guys to act like that.   Now for the record I have never eaten at Five Guys and honestly I’m apathetic towards them.   Wendy’s on the other hand I have eaten and do like their food.  I even worked at a Wendy’s years ago (yes I worked at one and will still eat their food).   To me they are one of the better fast food joints but their fries always were a problem.  The problem with their fries was that half the time they were a little undercooked for my tastes.  Now when they were cooked long enough that they were all crunchy they were some of the best fast food fries you could get but a lot of time you had the undercooked kinda soggy ones and they just kind of sucked that way (as do all fries). But oh how I love a triple and a large chili.   I haven’t been able to try the new fries because they don’t have Wendy’s in Japan anymore so I can’t say if the new ones are better or not.  My problem with this article is that the reporter sounded like she wrote this article more to plug Five Guys rather than talk about the new Wendy’s fries.  I really want to say that Wendy’s having new fries isn’t news but at least this is in the financial part of Yahoo News so we can at least say it has some merit to people that are either investing in Wendy’s or thinking about it, but when it all comes down to it aren’t we all going to get the same information from the next commercial break?

Right Now There Is A Cop Drunk Dialing Your Girlfriend And A Sniveling Little Bureaucrat Touching Himself For Thinking This Whole Thing Up.

“Michigan: Police Search Cell Phones During Traffic Stops
ACLU seeks information on Michigan program that allows cops to download information from smart phones belonging to stopped motorists.

The Michigan State Police have a high-tech mobile forensics device that can be used to extract information from cell phones belonging to motorists stopped for minor traffic violations. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Michigan last Wednesday demanded that state officials stop stonewalling freedom of information requests for information on the program.

ACLU learned that the police had acquired the cell phone scanning devices and in August 2008 filed an official request for records on the program, including logs of how the devices were used. The state police responded by saying they would provide the information only in return for a payment of $544,680. The ACLU found the charge outrageous.

“Law enforcement officers are known, on occasion, to encourage citizens to cooperate if they have nothing to hide,” ACLU staff attorney Mark P. Fancher wrote. “No less should be expected of law enforcement, and the Michigan State Police should be willing to assuage concerns that these powerful extraction devices are being used illegally by honoring our requests for cooperation and disclosure.”

A US Department of Justice test of the CelleBrite UFED used by Michigan police found the device could grab all of the photos and video off of an iPhone within one-and-a-half minutes. The device works with 3000 different phone models and can even defeat password protections.

“Complete extraction of existing, hidden, and deleted phone data, including call history, text messages, contacts, images, and geotags,” a CelleBrite brochure explains regarding the device’s capabilities. “The Physical Analyzer allows visualization of both existing and deleted locations on Google Earth. In addition, location information from GPS devices and image geotags can be mapped on Google Maps.”

The ACLU is concerned that these powerful capabilities are being quietly used to bypass Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches.”

And every time I yell about the encroaching Orwellian state we are all trying to get to people call me paranoid.  I can’t wait till politicians and other state officials try to track down people that have their daughter’s phone numbers.  I can just see how that would go.

Police Officer:  So tell me Mr. Smythe why do you have a Kathy Johnson’s phone number in your phone?

Kyle Smythe:  Um, what is this about officer?

PO:  Just answer the question kid before you end up like you little friend Jimmy there!

KM:  Please officer, I didn’t do anything we have a group project due next week and needed to exchange numbers with the groups!

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Don’t lie to me boy do you know who Miss Johnson is!?  Do you!?

(Child is crying)

KM:  Please officer, stop hitting me… We have social studies 5th period and Mrs. Nguyen has us doing a group project on Mesopotamia…

PO:  Well Senator Johnson seems to think otherwise?

KM:  What?

PO:  So am I to assume that you are just doing a “group project” with Miss. Johnson even though your parents voting record shows they voted for Senator Johnsons rival in the last election?

KM:  Sir, I’m 14, I don’t pay attention to that stuff.

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Shut up and tell me why your parents donated 50 bucks to Senator Johnson’s rival in the last election and don’t lie to me boy!

KM:  Because apparently you and Senator Johnson are a bunch of fascist assholes and if I knew about this then I’d have told them to donate a lot more and spent less time playing X-Box and more time with the crazy militia guys that hang out in Baker’s Woods.

(Child passes out from blow to the head and scene fades to a picture of Kyle being led into a camp called Sunshine Farms Youth Reeducation Center).

So Does This Mean White People Can Get In On The Affirmative Action Policies Or Are They Still Not Allowed To Trick Or Treat At That House?

New census data confirm that some major metropolitan areas flipped from majority white to majority populations of minorities during the past decade.

White people are now in the minority in 46 of the nation’s 366 metro areas, including New York, Washington, San Diego, Las Vegas and Memphis, said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution.”

One thing I think is silly about this whole thing is they lump everyone that isn’t white into the same category of “Minority”, hell they even lump people that are white into the non-white (or minority) category like many Hispanics who are or 100% European decent but are somehow different than someone from Italy or Greece considering they are all of Mediterranean decent but the last two are jumped into the white (non-minority) category and the first into the minority category.      Anything to divide us I guess.

Honestly I could care less as long as they don’t vote for Progressives.

Out Of Fear That Nerds Might Try To Declare A Mulligan On History And Travel Back In Time To Support the Kuomintang China Bans Science Fiction Staple. 

“Hong Kong, China (CNN) – China has been cracking down on dissent of late, as the recent detainment of artist Ai Weiwei suggests.

But the latest guidance on television programming from the State Administration of Radio Film and Television in China borders on the surreal – or, rather, an attack against the surreal.

New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”

“The government says … TV dramas shouldn’t have characters that travel back in time and rewrite history. They say this goes against Chinese heritage,” reports CNN’s Eunice Yoon. “They also say that myth, superstitions and reincarnation are all questionable.”

The Chinese censors seem to be especially sensitive these days. But for the television and film industry, such strictures would seem to eliminate any Chinese version of “Star Trek,” “The X-Files,” “Quantum Leap” or “Dr. Who.”  And does that mean rebroadcast of huge Hollywood moneymakers like “Back to the Future” and the “Terminator” series are now forbidden?”

All I can think is that the Chinese government thought that if people think to hard about time travel they might get crazy ideas like what would happen if we all went back in time and stopped the communists from taking over and murdering tens of millions of us and oppressing the ones that managed to live.  Also since the last thing a communist is, is sane, they might be worried that some poor dissident might get so engrossed in the concept of time travel he ends up finding a way to do it and does the world a favor by beating to death Mao Zedong to death on his 18th birthday and does the entire world and the Chinese people a huge favor.  He’d be the best superhero ever.  Think about it he could call himself The Vigilante of Time and it could be a TV show.  It would be if Quantum Leap was about a Chinese guy jumping through time putting a bullet in the head of every shithead who ever needed it before they got a chance to be the bastard they would grow up to be.  I’d watch that show.  Hell I have no idea why that show hasn’t already been made.  If this show is ever made I don’t want any money for the idea just give me a mention in the credits and make sure you have episodes where they take out Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Hitler.  Also one where they stop they guy who invented Auto-Tune (he doesn’t have to die just stop the invention).

And Duke University Still Has Their Fingers In Their Ears While Yelling “La, La La, I Can’t Hear You”.

Durham, N.C. — Family members of a man who was stabbed in his home April 3 say he died Wednesday evening. Crystal Mangum, the Durham woman who falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape in 2006, has been charged with assaulting him.

“Durham police confirmed Thursday morning that Reginald Daye, 46, had died.

“The case remains under investigation, and we do anticipate upgrading the charges. However, no new charges have been filed at this time,” police spokeswoman Kammie Michael said in an e-mail to WRAL News.

Police said Mangum, 32, stabbed Daye in the torso with a kitchen knife during a dispute at 3507 Century Oaks Drive early on April 3…

In February 2010, police arrested Mangum after an altercation between her and a different boyfriend. In that incident, she was accused of assaulting the man in front of her children and setting some of his clothes on fire.

She was later convicted of child abuse, injury to personal property and resisting a public officer in the case, but prosecutors dismissed an arson charge after a jury couldn’t reach a verdict.”

You know if they had just locked her up for the first round of bullshit this might not have happened.  Granted I don’t know how long a jail sentence you get for false accusations are (and even though I’m on the internets right now I’m not looking it up) but it might have at least stopped for a bit the progression of her offenses.  I wonder if Mike Nifong is punching himself in the face right now.  If he isn’t he should be.

I hate it here.

I’m back: Drunken Ranting, Politics And Other Things You Need To Care About!

Ah, I’m back.  I know how much you all missed me.   I’m sorry, I truly am, but I am back now so you can all stop cutting your wrists and crying yourselves to sleep every night.   I was just really busy doing things like going to a concert every weekend, watching every season of Stargate: SG1 and Arrested Development, getting a girlfriend, getting a promotion at work, getting a demotion at work, breaking up with a girlfriend, getting promoted again at work and well generally doing everything but paying attention to this blog.

Anyhoo, I have a couple things I need to post that I have worked on in my absence, but I think I’ll start off with a good drunken rant.  So everyone pour yourself a drink, put on your seat belts and your self-righteous sense of indignation and let’s get with the ranty…

Julian Assange the rapist that runs Wikileaks is in the news a lot.   I find it funny that the guy claims to be protecting free speech and trying to keep the public informed about the actions of the government(s) but how come he only goes after countries that are already for the most part open societies?  You never see this douche ever releasing tones of documents from China or Iran? If the fuck really cared about all the crap he says he does his site wouldn’t be quite so one sided.   The keep saying they have a bunch of dirt on Russia and China they are going to release but they never get around to it.  Why is that?  Plus the guy is yelling that if Sweden tries to have him arrested on rape charges or if he is extradited to Sweden he will release more stuff.  Really?  Instead of trying to defend himself against the rape charges he tries to blackmail everyone into not doing anything about it or he will release stolen classified documents.  He is a good guy to say the least.  If the fuck hadn’t raped those girls you think he wouldn’t need to try to blackmail the world into getting out of it.  Fuck him.  OK so maybe he didn’t and it was just some girls angry that he nailed them both in the same week, still does the loser have to try to blackmail people to get out of it?

North Korea is acting up again.  By this point I don’t even know if it qualifies as news.  A more shocking headline might go like this:

“North Korea acts like a civilized country”

Even China is trying to find a way to tell them to fuck off without making it look like they have capitulated to the West.   It’s so bad that China told the U.S. not to send a Carrier Group into the China sea and when the U.S.  did it anyway to fuck with North Korea China didn’t say shit.  Hugo Chavez won’t even talk to them and he will suck up to anyone that hates the U.S.   Look North Korea, if China will not lift a finger to protect you there is no way you can win a war with anyone.  Remember Iraq?  The countries government was destroyed in weeks.  Yes there was still fighting after that but that was a bunch of angry jihadists not a country’s army.  You have a big army but they are extremely underfed and poorly supplied.  Your missiles rarely do anything other than blow up the launch pad and your most “advanced” jets are so old one U.S. Aircraft Carrier could destroy your entire Air Force before lunch.  I know you might be able to make a little trouble in a war but unless you are trying to commit suicide you might want to take a moment and think about what you are doing.

Potential dates should come with warning labels.  Like “I’m really married and have kids but I want a boyfriend on the side.  And no you can’t date other people, I don’t want you cheating on me”.  Fucking hell people are crazy.  I find out you are married and you get angry at me for having a problem with it?

Other good warning labels would be:

“I have kids I’m not going to tell you about”

“I’m not going to mention I’m not here legally until it’s too late”

“I’m just trying to get a sugar daddy/mommy”

“I’m going to make this as serious as possible even though I know I’m moving out of the country/state/city… Well…  You get the point”.

“I’m already pregnant with someone else’s kid”

“I have (inset name of STD here)”

Fucking hell, dating sucks.  Thank god I never had to deal with the last one.

The TSA.  Yes apparently they now either have to take naked pictures of you in a machine that causes cancer or caress your junk in order to let you fly.  I’m all for reasonable security but is this really necessary?  They don’t even know the long term effects of the machines.  There is serious worry that is could cause fertility problems and problems to pregnant women but fuck it lets do it anyway.  Come the fuck on people!  We all know who the problem is.  It’s pissed off Moslems.  Stop strip searching old ladies and tourists and go after the real threat.  Pissed off Moslems.   I don’t mind the metal d detectors or the bag x-rays but shouldn’t we be focusing our efforts on the people who want to blow up planes?  Like pissed off Moslems?  Even the terrorists with the ELF and ALF aren’t trying to blow up planes.   Saying it’s wrong to profile pissed off Moslems is like saying it’s wrong to profile sex offenders or serial killers.  Fucking hell people buy a fucking clue.

Anyway if you do want to do the full body scan and not the sexual assault portion of your security screening at the airport I suggest everyone puts on a stap-on dildo when they do it.  All the women will look like they have a penis and all the men will look like they have two. Also make sure you smile at the screeners like a pervert and see if they have enough balls to ask the questions you know they don’t want to ask.

People need to be more honest in relationships.  If you only gave me your phone number and kissed me was because you were drunk just tell me that before I spend 10,000 Yen on tickets to a concert for us so you can do everything in you power to avoid me.  Hell why the fuck did you tell me you wanted to go with me when I asked?  I’d chalk this up as someone trying to get a free ticket to a show if it were not for the fact you showed up so late you missed 95% of it.   Really I just want to thank you for that.  I spent 5,000 Yen so you could see the last two songs.  Hell, by the time you showed up I figured you were not coming (especially since your friend showed up and said you weren’t) and was having a great time with this other girl who you then thankfully cock-blocked me from when you did show up only to once again continue to mess with me just enough to make me think I had a chance.  Seriously, fuck you.

I live in Japan as people who have read this crap I call a blog before might know.  Japan really needs to get rid of Article 9 of their Constitution (it’s the one that says they can’t have a real military for people that don’t know).   They do, China is a fuck but they aren’t really attacking anyone (that isn’t one of their own people) but North Korea is a problem.  Plus they just need too.  It’s time they woke up and took charge of their own defense.  I’m not saying they need to get rid of the U.S. that partnership is good for both countries but they can’t spend the rest of their existence depending on another country for their defense.  The second Japan wakes up and builds themselves a real army, navy and air force it will give North Korea a whole new set of things to be worried about.  They might even stop trying to lob missiles over the country and kidnapping Japanese children.  Right now the Japanese politicians like getting themselves elected bitching about the U.S. Military knowing that they will never do anything about it.  They know they don’t have the balls to to kick America out (something they can do at any time) because they want to be protected by the U.S. but still be able to use it as a wedge issues at election time.  Plus they don’t want to spend the money it would take to deal with national defense.  It’s a joke.  Stop it.  It’s not 1946 anymore.  Grow up.

I would follow you into hell itself Petty Officer Hashimoto!

Why did several of my non-American friends wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving on their Facebook pages?  I don’t get it?  You’re from Poland or Japan!  I know you have some American friends and all I just think it’s odd.

Speaking of Facebook I really do not know why I have an account.  I have a regular email address people can use.  I really do not know what the point of most of it is.  Especially the status updates.  Fucking hell I really do not know why you need to post pictures of what you made for dinner or the fact you are shopping at some fucking store.  It’s like the height of vapid egotism.  I understand maybe telling people you got married or that you will be in town for the weekend.  I get the invitations to events.  But for the love of all that is holy I have no idea why I need to know you are currently reading Green Eggs and Ham to your kid.  Plus how they hell are you reading to your kid and posting on Facebook at the same time?

Why can you buy everything NIN has ever released on iTunes except their first album?  I can either buy it off iTunes for $9.99 and the money goes to the band or I can get it for $3.00 at a used record shop and they make no money.  Think about it guys.

Speaking of iTunes, has anyone else had the problem were the track names are wrong?  I had that happen a couple times were all the song names moved down a rank so track 1 had track 2’s name and so on.  One time it was just all jumbled up.  This has only happened like 3 or 4 times though so I’m not saying it’s all fucked up but it’s not always correct.

Apparently the other day some Egyptian officials have said the recent shark attacks around the Sinai Peninsula may be a plot by the Mossad proving once again there is nothing Moslems won’t try to blame on the Jews.   It’s like they think Dr. Evil is running Israel.  The sad thing is that Egypt is one of the saner Moslem countries.

The Berkeley City Council is considering a resolution to declare Pfc. Manning, the asshole that stole then released thousands of classified documents to Wikileaks a hero.  What the fuck!  I understand that Berkeley is one of the most insane places in America but come the fuck on people, how the hell is releasing classified documents to foreign nationals while in a warzone heroic?  It’s treason you shitheads.  Why the hell haven’t we walled off California from the rest of the country?  We could let Puerto Rico in as a state and still have 50.  We could either have the unwashed communist douche-bags that make up Berkeley or we could have Puerto Rican girls and mofongo.  Think about it.

Speaking of Wikileaks a lot of people have been attacking people and companies that didn’t support them.  So much for free speech I guess.  It’s cool to have free speech when you want them to release classified documents but not OK for other people to use their own freedoms to disagree with you.  I really would like to know exactly how much hypocrisy you can spill out before cognitive dissonance starts to manifest itself in your brains.  Fuck now I’m going to get attacked…

I have always liked the quote “Your failure to plan does not constitute and emergency on my part”.  Sometimes it starts with “your piss poor planning”.  Really if you knew about a project months ago and did nothing do not come to me 5 minutes before I leave work and try to tell me you need something by tomorrow.  Not only are you expecting me to stay late to get you out of your own fuck up but you and trying to tell me that everyone who had come to me well in advance needs to wait because you fucked up.  It’s rude and irresponsible and I’m not going to screw over other people because of your mistakes or laziness.

And here is a funny ass video I found on Because No One Asked.

I know what cat tastes like.  I also know what dog, horse, alligator, kangaroo and sea urchin taste like, and they are tasty!

Speaking of eating cat, why do people think it is disgusting?  You eat things like shrimp and crab right?  You eat lobster and that is just a giant underwater cockroach.  But cat is gross?

Food

Not food?

The Yakuza video game series is coming out with 2 new games and one has zombies!!! It’s like Sega has finally read all my letters and death threats.  OK they already put out 4 in Japan but it won’t come out in English till March 2011.   5 has the zombies but I don’t know when it is coming out in English.  It better be quick Sega, it better be quick…

See the awesome?  Do you see it!!!

They say the insane man never questions his sanity.  So that would mean only the sane ever ask themselves if they might be crazy, but can someone really be sane if they feel the need to question their sanity?

If you are trying to rationalize or deconstruct that the farther away from the truth you will be. Seriously you should be laughing you humorless pretentious fuck.

I really think the Emo kids should be thanking Hipsters.  Why?  Because at least they finally have someone out there more useless and annoying than them.  Good for you Emo kids you finally have someone to look down on, someone to pick on, aren’t social hierarchies fun?

What is the point of the “Wink” on dating websites? Is it just saying I like you but have no idea what to say so hopefully if I wink at you will start and conversation and I don’t have too?  Are we to shy to just say hello so we just wink at everyone hopping one of them will introduce themselves?  To be fair the wink at least makes more sense than the “poke” on Facebook.  Why would you poke someone.  It’s considered rude in real life but on the internets you are supposed to poke people?  At least a wink you can tell yourself “hey they think I’m cute or fun” or something.  With a poke all I want to do is say “Stop poking me you fuck it’s rude”.  But I can’t do that because then they might think I want to talk to them.  They need a punch button.  You’d get a nice email from Facebook saying something like “You have just been punched by Robert Henderson for poking him” or “You have just been punched by Megumi Nakahara for your Farmville request”.

The Grocery store by me house needs to stay open later.  I run out of beer around 9 but you always close at 7.  It’s not my fault that I didn’t know I wanted to keep drinking after you close.  Sometimes I only want a couple and sometimes I just don’t care that it is Wednesday and I have to go to work tomorrow.  You need to be there for me guys.  You know I love you…

Hmm…  Beer run…

Why did you need to know that?

You didn’t, it’s almost like this is Facebook…

Seriously why the hell do I even have a Facebook account? The only time I ever post anything it to make fun of other people’s stupid posts of post random Megadeth and Misfits videos for no reason.  Well at least it’s not Twitter…

Why do I pick on Twitter you ask?  Well because I pick on everything.  That and Twitter is the only thing on the planet other than maybe Kanye West that can make I Can Has Cheezburger look deep and meaningful.

FYI Kanye West has a Twitter account.  I’m just amazed that hasn’t caused an black hole that is slowly draining all intelligence out of the universe.

 

Wait I might have spoke too soon…  Fuck… Now I have to talk about Dancing With The Stars.  Why do you fucks make me do this?  And Why do I do it when I know that i don’t have too?  God how I hate you all…  First off I will tell you I have never watched this show and have no wish to do so.  I just don’t care. It’s a fucking TV show about dancing for fucks sake!   So why am I talking about it?  Well apparently people got so worked up about Bristol Palin being on it and the fact that she wasn’t kicked off that they called the FCC to complain and demand and investigation of the show.  Some people went so far as to make really threatening comments and one guy even shot his TV over the fact she was on it.  Look crazy people you win the show by having the most votes, and enough people called in to vote to keep her on so she stayed no matter how bad you think her dancing was.  Plus she didn’t even win the fucking thing.  OK, sanity check for all you fucks out there.  IT IS A SHOW ABOUT CELEBRITIES (IN THE LOOSEST POSSIBLE DEFINITION OF THE TERM) DANCING.   AND WE GET THIS WORKED UP OVER IT?  Seriously it’s a stupid show about people who we might know having a dancing competition it’s not that important.  More idiots bitched about Bristol Palin’s dancing than said shit about that fact North Korea started shelling a South Korean island killing several people.  Do you hate Sarah Palin that much that the fact her daughter – who is not in politics even the littlest bit – had people vote for her on a fucking stupid reality show about b-list celebrities dancing that you act like it is the end of the fucking world while North Korea and Iran are trying to start WWIII?  Seriously you need to get your priorities strait.  Bristol Palin’s dancing has no affect on the planet or anyone’s daily life.  It’s not fucking important.  The fact that North Korea is trying to start a fucking war with South Korea and may have nukes is important.  The fact that their friend Iran is trying to get nukes is important.  Bristol Palin’s dancing does not have the potential to start a nuclear war in Asia and the Middle East.   If Bristol Palin’s dancing is biggest issue of the day I would say the world is a good place.  The problem is that it’s the least we have to worry about and that is what you morons chose to pay attention too.  Fucking hell…

I always liked the quote from the Joker in the 1989 movie Batman “This town needs an enema”.  I really think we need to say this world needs an enema though.  And a couple punches in the face…

I always hated Christmas.  Not because of the religious parts and not even because of the commercialization to the point where it has nothing to do with the religious aspects.  I always hated it because of Christmas music.  Most Christmas music is fucking terrible and annoying.  You go into a store and you here the same couple songs over and over for a month (if not sometimes longer) strait.  I once had a job were not only did they pipe the shit over the speaker system but in the front where I worked they had something else playing music so you had to listen to two different Christmas songs at the same time. Stop it, just stop it already.  Then there are the annoyances about people expecting you to be with your family and get presents for everyone and all that shit.  My family has email and I might even remember to send a message every other year so lay off.  On the presents thing, last time I check Christmas was about celebrating the birth of Jesus.  Jesus got presents on his birthday because it was his birthday and he was the son of fucking God.  You’re not the son of fucking God so why should you get anything?  You don’t expect to get presents on your mom or Glenn Danzig’s birthday do you, so why do you have to get greedy the second Jesus wants to party a bit?

For all this talk I do celebrate Christmas in my own way.  I play Fairytale Of New York by the Pogues, watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and get drunk.   Basically do the same thing I do on Valentine’s Day only without the crimes against humanity…  This year however there is a Rockabilly show with Burlesque dancers and Santa Claus…  I’m going to hell aren’t I?

Iran was in the news the other day for sentencing someone to be blinded by acid.  As sad as it is it is a step up from their usual stoning to death rape victims.  At least this guy did commit a crime.  I guess it was a slow week for them since they didn’t have any homosexuals to hang or students to rape and murder.  Fuck you Iran, fuck you.

 

 

 

 

I hate it here…

Draw Muhammad Day With Hate Comics

After 4 years new HATE COMICS.  Please click on the image to enlarge.  Also the person that did this would like you to  send all death threats and Fatwas to fuckyourjihad@islamcansuckmydick.com.   You want to get angry about people making fun of Muhammad and Islam stop blowing shit up and trying to kill people if they even mention the shit.  Welcome to the 21st century assholes.

May 20th Is Draw Muhammad Day

Apparently some people decided to turn May 20th into Draw Muhammad day as a protest against the threats against the creators of South Park (and I think a lot of other threats and bullshit from the “Religion of Peace”) and since we here at Letters To A Dying Dream never shy away from a chance to get a Fatwa put out on our heads we will be participating.  The Drunken Llama has convinced the creator of Hate Comics to come out of his self imposed exile long enough to do the artwork.  I can only imagine that it will be offensive and probably very, very poorly drawn.  But I’m sure that if you have seen any of his old stuff that The Drunken Llama has been posting recently on his site you already know that.   So on May 20th after a 4 year hiatus Letters To A Dying Dream and Drunken Llama will be posting a brand new Hate Comics just for this very special occasion.

Now everyone should participate, you don’t even have to make the drawing offensive (well it is just by being there) but you don’t have to do anything really bad just draw Muhammad and show your support for free speech and against Islamic radicalism.  Ours however will be offensive.

You can start the Fatwa now or wait until Thursday either way it’s called freedom of speech you shitheads, welcome to the 21st century!

As the Llama would say:

Fatwa my dick bitches!

You Cannot Wear A Shirt With An American Flag On It In America… Wait… What?

“Students Kicked Off Campus for Wearing American Flag Tees

On any other day at Live Oak High School in Morgan Hill, Daniel Galli and his four friends would not even be noticed for wearing T-shirts with the American flag. But Cinco de Mayo is not any typical day especially on a campus with a large Mexican American student population.

Galli says he and his friends were sitting at a table during brunch break when the vice principal asked two of the boys to remove American flag bandannas that they wearing on their heads and for the others to turn their American flag T-shirts inside out. When they refused, the boys were ordered to go to the principal’s office.

“They said we could wear it on any other day,” Daniel Galli said, “but today is sensitive to Mexican-Americans because it’s supposed to be their holiday so we were not allowed to wear it today.”

The boys said the administrators called their T-shirts “incendiary” that would lead to fights on campus.”

What the hell is wrong with that school.  The American flag is “incendiary” in America?  Not Iran or North Korea but America?  You can’t wear an American flag to school in America?  Plus if you think it will cause violence you punish the kids that didn’t do anything and don’t even pay attention to these “violent kids”?  You are punishing innocent children because you don’t want to deal with children that a so enraged by their own ethnocentrism that they will attack other children for wearing a t-shirt with an American flag on it (the country everyone lives in)?  Peoples tax dollars are going to this school?  What the fuck, ever hear about the First Amendment?  Wait, never mind.   It’s a public school in California, probably not…

Here is a great quote:

“I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day,” Annicia Nunez, a Live Oak High student, said. “We don’t deserve to be get disrespected like that. We wouldn’t do that on Fourth of July.”

Um, shut up…  Just shut up…

OK, Annicia, I have some questions for you.  Do you wear the American flag – t-shirt, pin, hat, anything – on the 4th of July (FYI the holiday is called Independence Day, the 4th of July is not a holiday, Independence Day is a holiday that happens to fall on the 4th of July)?  You know, to celebrate the country you live in?  I just want to know.  How is it disrespectful to wear an American flag on a t-shirt in America even if it is May 5th?  You Say it’s Mexican Heritage Day, but are you in Mexico?  Wait, what your aren’t?   It’s not disrespectful you twit!  You just want to make it into something it’s not.  You want to have some ethnocentric complaint about people who are not Mexican so you can feal superior to them and their little flag is letting you do that.  Shut up.

Anyway back to the point.  A school kicked kids out because they were wearing t-shirts with the American flag on it, in America on a Mexican holiday people in Mexico don’t even celebrate (I’ll get to that in a minute).  Are you Fucking Serious?   If you want to celebrate Cinco de Mayo in the US go right ahead, it’s not hurting anyone just remember you are not in Mexico and just because you care doesn’t mean the 93% of America that isn’t of Mexican origin has to care.  Hell they barely even celebrate Cinco de Mayo in Mexico outside of one Mexican state and even in that state it isn’t a big thing  (yes I know I said they don’t celebrate it, they do but it’s so small that you might as well say they don’t, plus I was making a point, so shut up).  Cinco de Mayo is basically a Mexican Holiday that is really only celebrated in the US making it more culturally American than Mexican.  And you want to bitch about some kids with a US flag on a t-shirt?  Are you all insane, stupid or looking for some bullshit ethnic grievance?

I live in Japan.  I don’t yell at people if they have  t-shirt on with the Japanese flag on it on Independence Day because that would be fucking stupid and ignorant.  Some of the bars in Tokyo, Yokohama and around the US bases in Japan have specials and such for American holidays like the INDEPENDENCE DAY (seriously, knock off the 4th of July shit, it irritates me) because they do get business from Americans and it’s a good way to attract more business.  And it’s fun for all involved, Japanese, American and and other peoples that show up, but no one, and I mean no one would be offended if someone showed up with a t-shirt with the Japanese flag on it.

Look there is nothing wrong with celebrating Cinco de Mayo, even if you are not Mexican, it can be fun.  Everyone celebrates ST. Patrick’s Day – even in Japan – because it’s fun and it gives us all an excuse to drink Guinness and Murphy’s stout, listen to the Puoges and have a really good time.  In America of ST. Patrick’s day you see both the American flag and the Irish flag (and tonnes of flags with a shamrock on them), and it’s the same with Oktoberfest (something else they do have celebrations for in Japan, and it was fun).  This weekend in Tokyo they are having the Jamaican festival, I’m going, because it will be a good time.  Hang out with friends, meet new people, listen to some good music drink Red Stripe and eat some good food and when the have the Indian festival at the same park I’m going to that too for the same reasons.  It’s fun, and everyone even if they are not Indian or Jamaican can have a good time.  So why do we have to turn Cinco de Mayo into some ethnocentric bullshit when we could all get together eat some good food, hang out with our friends and drink some Negra Modelo or Dos Equis?*  Wake the fuck up people.  You never hear Chinese Americans yelling about American flags during the Chinese New Year you you?  What, you don’t?  I wonder why?  Because they aren’t trying to pull some bullshit ethnocentric crap.

America is a melting pot, start melting or shut the fuck up.  America is a rich tapestry of different cultures and peoples coming together to form something new, you don’t have to abandon your heritage but you can’t keep it all and everything starts to blend together.  My ancestors wanted to be American, that’s why they moved there.  There is nothing wrong with honoring your ancestry  but you are American first.

Look, we can either all be Mexican for the day like being Irish on St. Patrick’s Day and have a good time or you can all go fuck yourselves.  There is no option “C”.

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I hate it here…

* I didn’t put Corona on that list for a reason, because much like Budweiser it sucks and is only good for two things; giving you diarrhea or a hangover and usually both (even if you only had one).