Every day I get more depressed or angry about the world. Well Maybe every other day since I don’t always pay attention. I do however thank God or whatever diety that might not hate me for the fact I still have the Second Amendment, there is some comfort in knowing I can always save the last bullet for myself. I named her Kyōko. Well the world is going to hell I think… maybe…um… OK I am kinda sure that it might sort of be going to the hell or something. I know every generation says this and sometimes they are more right then others. Think about the poor Roman looking at his country in 375 AD saying “This country is going to shit and we are about to get fucked hard-core” and you know what he was right. Civilization as they knew it ended shortly afterwards. I sometimes feal like a young Han looking at the Mongolian hordes both knowing that this is going to be one big suckfest. Empires and nations fall in two ways from within and from without. The largest and most powerful from both. A weakening of the nations collective will leading to a suicidal tendency to destroy themselves leaving themselves open to either a revolution that can be fatal or for others to come in and destroy them.
Let our cancer rot us from the inside while we let your cancer rot us from without. The siren song for national suicide, we have a death grip on our own throats while we welcome the inevitable knife from our enemies. Every one say hi to the knife kids and wait for the twist.
War. War is never the answer except when it is the answer. War is a necessity at times. That’s called life. If you think anything was going to stop the Nazi’s except guns, tanks, blood and a sky filled with B-29’s your cognitive abilities are suspect to say the least. I’ll go out on a limb here and say that you are either incredibly stupid or insane. War isn’t fun it’s not supposed to be that’s why reasonable people try not to have them. The thing is that reasonable people also know that sometimes war is the best option if not the only rational one. Pacifist can only survive because other people die to keep them alive. It’s not a higher moral ground and in some cases it’s the low road. Letting other people fight for your safety while you sit of your little soap box decrying the actions of the people who’s blood is the price of you life. In a just war it’s the pacifist that is immoral. That is not to say that the people that don’t fight are immoral, the doctor or the priest that tends to the sick, the wounded, the poor and the weak is not immoral for not fighting the are contributing in their own way. It’s the bastards that mock the sacrifice of others while expecting if not demanding the benefits of their sacrifice.
The one thing I want to know is this in movies there are always speeches where a commander asks his crew to step forward if they want to continue to fight until death and leave if they don’t want to do it. Well everyone always does step forward?. Only in real life how many people step forward not because they are ready or willing but because they don’t want to be “the guy” that didn’t? Is it just peer pressure to get yourself killed or is it that no matter what your misgivings might be you just can’t let your team down? I’ll take the second since there is honor in that. In truth though how many of us would step forward? The truth is we are all going to die at some point might as well make it mean something good I guess.
The French once build up a great fortification called the Maginot Line, this they thought would keep out the Germans. It didn’t quite work out that way since the Germans did the same thing they did the last time they attacked France by invading through Belgium. Someone apparently forgot to pay attention to that thing called “history”.
Douglas MacArthur was an arrogant bastard who could rule with and Iron fist at times and would refuse to listen to people when he thought he was right. At times he would take matters in his own hands and disregard the orders of his superiors. He was also man enough to admit when he was wrong or made a mistake and would try to correct it. Remember though he destroyed himself in the end with his own arrogance or maybe just his own miscalculation. During the Korean war he expected that he Chinese would not cross the Yalu river and brought the US forces a bit close expecting that the Chinese would not bother to get involved in the war. They did and that was his downfall. No matter what anyone says your heros are still human if you forget that you’re fucked.
What do we have for leaders now. Are they all just egotism and personality cults without the accountability like a modern Emperor Hirohito for the new world order? Everything for their own glory and their faults washed away without the slightest concept of some humility or even humanity. Do we want to be ruled by Big Brother smiling down on us from his lofty perch all his faults are lies or washed down the Memory Holes. Is this what we want for our leaders a religious cult on a politician?
Many people before me and many after will look back to some idealistic glory days claiming that they have faded. Truth or not it doesn’t always matter. Sometimes we are wrong and it is getting better even if we can’t see it now or just aren’t looking. But sometimes we see a crumbling world and it’s the truth it’s the world as it is and not of our imagination. What do I know I’m a 2 bit digital philosopher jacking my thoughts onto the interweb like it matters. Just another pile of road kill on the information superhighway just like so many others. This crap will be archived and generations from now some kid will read this and still not care.
We say that we are fighting the system but are we really? Probably not we are “The System”, it’s just that last shred of our warped sense of dignity the mental masturbation of our own pointless egos that we think that our words might actually matter. What do we hope for? Utopia? I don’t because I know what the word means. Not the definition in false concept of hope that you have saddled it with, but the true meaning of the word. Nothing or nowhere. A place that can never exist in this world. It’s always darkest before the dawn but it’s the light of the new day that shows you in brilliant and vivid colors the horrors of the world. If that causes you to falter or despair have fun with that, go listen to an emo band and cut yourself, chicken out and suck up to your executioner while demanding for someone to save you. I won’t. I have no reason or motivation to try and save someone that won’t even fight for air while drowning. I don’t need hope. I don’t need to lie to myself. I could put my faith into the stuffed platypus sitting on my desktop and it would be as meaningful as your silly little concept of hope. Better even for he is a cute funny little stuffed toy. What do you have word games and naive ignorance? I have Sargent Fluffelpuss.
A thief can be honest, he knows what he is doing he just doesn’t care. He wants what you have but knows he doesn’t want to work for it so he takes it. A dishonest thief steals your stuff and gives you bullshit platitudes on why he must take it, just like a politician. The first knows he is wrong the second tries to justify his actions to make them seem right. At times he is even lying to himself, since he wants to believe his own corruption is moral and just. The second is the worst creature on earth. It’s the love of a rapist.
A zoo once had a tiger that had been hurt in the wild. In order to make sure that it could be properly released back into the jungle after it had properly healed the zoo would feed it live deer so that it would remember how and regain it’s ability to hunt and not become mildly domesticated. In doing this the zoo acquired the anger from segments of the local populace over the poor little deer that had to be killed by the tiger. These people got together and forced the zoo to stop feeding the tiger live game because they felt that this was wrong. Because of this the tiger will spend the rest of it’s life in a cage. The tiger is still a carnivore it’s food being the flesh of other animals so nothing was saved the fate of death for it’s meal. It lives it’s a life in a cage never to see the jungle again because some people’s bleeding hearts didn’t want to accept the truth of this world. Nature has laws not feelings and you will destroy more then it ever could when you go against it.
I am a Nihilist. Well occasionally because sometimes it’s fun to be stupid and angry. I hate Nihilism. As if the idea that turning back the clock to zero can really somehow fix everything. Funny huh? We don’t know how to fix or the will to fix the problems in our lives and the world so we figure we might as well just burn it all down. I have many things in life I regret either doing or not doing but I can’t regret my life. Everything I wish I had not done or wish I had could possibly have changed my life in ways that I might not even recognize myself. It is easy to say that had I been able to start over knowing what I know now I could have made better choices and even a better life, but that is not even true. Even with what you know now the emotions of a time would still there and can force out any concept or rational thought and you might still go down the same path or make it worse. It’s pointless to worry about the past to the point that it destroys your future. Atone for your sins and move on. Zero is nothing. Zero is Utopia. It is pointless to strive for Zero.
This my friends is the worlds worst suicide note. I guess I should make it more tediously melodramatic like goth poetry, political commentary or an emo song. Something that makes the audience want to kill themselves just to make the hurting stop. Nothing says greatness like making other people kill themselves in the hope of never having to hear your crap again. If you don’t believe me how do you think Nirvana got famous? I’ll give you a hint it wasn’t musical talent.
I’m joking this isn’t a suicide note it’s just more letters to a dying dream, my eulogy for the world, my….
Sorry I spilled beer on the carpet…
Crap I ran out of paper towels…
Sorry back to the point what I guess what I am really trying to say is remember that death is final unless we are talking about the little death since we are usually good after 20 minutes and a sandwich. Or was this on the necessity of kicking a hippies ass?
Fucking paper towels never here when I need you.