All The News I Felt Like Talking About. And Making Fun Of.

Brothels, Gambling, Organized Crime, Who Cares About That, I think That Kid Over There Has On A Leather Jacket And Might Get A Tattoo!!!

“Japanese youth, hassled by haiku”

Woohoo poetic guilt trips!

“Please do not discard

Your empty cans or fag ends

Or morality

Japan’s remorseless finger-wagging now comes in haiku form. This one appeared yesterday on a municipal billboard on a Tokyo street boasting two brothels, an illegal mah-jong parlour and a yakuza money laundry. But these are not the target of the poetic puritans — instead, as ever, it is young people and their ne’er-do-well ways.

Japan’s under-18s have a dismal lot. They are well behaved and hard working despite monstrous betrayal by their elders. Soon after they are out of nappies, the young are “offered” a deal: work hard, make yourself sick chasing a job you will hate and spend your life paying off the world’s biggest public debt as the most selfish generation in human history enjoys its dotage.

And the framers of this one-sided contract reserve the right to blame the young for every social ill out there. This invariably takes the form of a national moraru (moral) or mannaa (manners) drive.”

The sad thing about this is that my dad sent this to me so there is a very good chance he showed it to my mother.  I just can’t wait to hear this haiku next time I visit:

Why not married yet

I want more grandkids now

Don’t you love me, son?

Now I Know Why They Keep Their Woman In Full Garbage Bags

“RIYADH — Health authorities in Jeddah have shut down an “illegal” women’s fitness centre attached to a hospital, closing one of the few venues where Saudi women are able to exercise, local media said on Wednesday.

Although health officials have repeatedly blamed the high rates of heart disease and diabetes in the kingdom on poor diets and lack of exercise, health authorities said women’s fitness centres were not allowed…

While gyms for men in the gender-segregated conservative Islamic society are permitted, women’s health clubs are forbidden, despite a clear demand shown by a surge in underground facilities in the past two years.”

Yes it is illegal for woman to have gyms in Saudi Arabia.  They can’t even have gyms just for woman to keep them from the men they just can’t have them.  Does Saudi Arabia have any laws that are not batshit insane?  Really I know you use Islam for the basis for a lot of your crazy laws and I understand that Islam has a tendency towards the insane considering it was invented by a pedophile warlord but come the fuck on people.  I really don’t think there is anything in the Koran that says a woman can’t do a little cardio a couple times a week.  Even Scientology lets you go to the gym, why not you guys?

I Would Understand If It Was A Twilight Novel But A Cell-phone?

“A 13-year-old Saudi schoolgirl is to be given 90 lashes in front of her classmates after she was caught with a mobile camera phone.

The girl, who has not been named, was also sentenced to two months in jail by a court in the eastern city of Jubail.”

Oh, right it’s Saudi Arabia again.  It all makes sense now.  Has Saudi Arabia produced anything that wasn’t either oil or fucking insane?  I seriously think it’s were crazy was invented.

And The “No Shit” Award Goes To…

“World saw declines in freedom in 2009, think tank finds”

At least it wasn’t just us…

“Washington (CNN) — The unsolved murder of human rights activists in Russia. Their detention, torture and murder in Iran. Their jailing in China and Vietnam.

Attacks on journalists in the Philippines, Pakistan, Mexico and Somalia.

Coups in Africa and Central America.

All isolated incidents around the world that together made 2009 a grim milestone in world freedom, according to a United States think tank that tracks liberty around the globe.

Declines in freedom around the world outweighed gains last year, for the fourth year in a row, Freedom House says in its annual survey published Tuesday.

“This represents the longest continuous period of deterioration in the nearly 40-year history” of the report, writes this year’s author, Arch Puddington.

There were only 116 electoral democracies around the world in 2009, the group found — the lowest number since 1995…

Declines in freedom around the world outweighed gains last year, for the fourth year in a row, Freedom House says in its annual survey published Tuesday.”

I think they forgot Obama’s czars and the fact our Constitution barely means shit to our “leaders”, but at least we know we aren’t alone in this spiral into shit.

Is flag@whitehouse.gov still working so I can report myself?

If You Kill Yourself You Can Make The Movie Stop

“James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.”

Oh, wait it’s not because the movie is nothing but 8 hours of mind numbing propaganda you want to get away from any way you can (including suicide), it’s because they actually believe the shit.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ ”

Come the fuck on it’s a movie and a bad one at that!!!
“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

Really?  Please for the love of god you need to get help!  The movie barely has a plot except for what they stole from fern gully, Pocahontas and Dances With Wolves, then they turned it into a rape fantasy.   The only message in this movie is:

1.  We had pretty pictures (but are still behind almost every video game made in the last 5 years) and no original plot.

2.  Humans are evil.

3.  It’s wrong to rape the planet through mining but it is completely OK to rape every animal and plant on the planet as long as you say it’s spiritual or something.

Seriously, fuck this movie.

Crazy, I love Crazy

“Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said his country suffered after invasions during World War II and he will “stand to the end” to get full compensation, the Jerusalem Post reported.

Ahmadinejad said he’d write to U.N. secretary General Ban Ki-moon to ask for compensation for damages caused to Iran during the war, and for use of its territory and resources by allied powers, the Post reported.”

Did you do anything to help stop the Nazis?  Oh, wait you didn’t and in fact your government while technically neutral supported Germany in WWII?  Oh, sounds like I could give a fuck about your little claims for compensation.  Really, it was a World War, shit happens and you did nothing of any use.  I bet if I said the Shah needed compensation you wouldn’t like that now would you?  Really fuck your demands Alamadamadingdong?

It gets better though:

“Ahmadinejad reportedly also warned that Iran may demand similar compensation for the first World War.”

Yes Alamadamadingdong wants compensation for Iran for the first World War.  Um… Last time I checked Iran was part of the Ottoman Empire in WWI, so why don’t they try to get their compensation from them?  Oh wait it was only because of WWI that the Ottoman Empire fell allowing Iran a chance to become Iran.  And even with that you where still on the losing side, next time fight harder bitches!  Still what about the Shah?

I hate it here…

The price of a grape

I loved this quote from the movie:

“There are men who would buy grapes chewed by high school girls for 120,000 Yen”

For those who don’t know the conversion right now 105 Yen is about 1 Dollar.  Although it’s usually about 115 Yen to the Dollar in the last couple years.  I usually just hide the last two numbers and convert to dollars so 100 Yen is $1  and 1000 Yen is $10 to make it quick and easy for small purchases.  Back to the point.  That’s about $1,143 for chewed grapes. Or in this case $285.75 per grape since the guy got 4 of them.  However this movie was made in 1998 when the Yen rate was on average 130 Yen to the Dollar.  That would be $923.08 for 4 grapes and $230.77 per grape.  Granted my math could be wrong because I am terrible at it and Mr. Calculator could be screwing with me for all I know but either way WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?!

Why do I bring this up?  Well I have a thing for strange films.  My favorite director is Miike Takashi if that is any help in your psychological evaluation of me (hint: I probably need help).  The movie Love & Pop is directed by Hideaki Anno of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise fame and was his first live action film (non Anime).  The movie explores the the Japanese practice of Enjo kōsai or Compensated Dating and shortened to Enkō.  Enko is not Prostitution or is not usually.  Statistically less then 10% of the girls involved delve into the prostitution aspect of it.   The usually date either involves going out to dinner or Karaoke or both, and in exchange the girl who is usually in high school will get money or gifts for spending time with the older man.  This movie likes to delve into the worst and most disturbing aspects of Enko however.  In the end you get a little taste of the disturbing aspects of this kind of thing without going way to far into perversion and sickness to the point of nausea.

Just so all you perverted little nerds out there understand before to decide to fly off to Japan and buy a date with a Japanese school girl this is common enough that people know about it but most people do not do this and is generally frowned upon by society as a whole.  I’m not really here to write a review for the film.  It was a decent film I just thought the thing with the grapes was funny and had to share.

Live action remake of Akira, welcome to hell!!!

Yeah they are redoing Akira as a live action movie staring Leonardo DiCaprio… YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKING ASS SUCKING TWATWAFFLES. Really is there no part of my childhood you bastards won’t rape?

So they are changing the setting to New York, and the lead characters aren’t even Japanese. They say they want to make it more in line with the original Manga rather then the Film, so how is changing a group of Bosozoku (Japanese biker gang) that sells speed in a post-apocalyptic Tokyo into a bunch of effeminate ass holes in New York, more in line with the Manga? Does Hollywood have to ruin everything? I swear to god if you fuckers go after The Goonies next and I am going to have to come down there and it is not going to be pretty.

Thank you once again George Lucas for raping my childhood

Thank you once again George Lucas for raping my childhood.   Granted The new Jones movie was vastly better then the visual atrocity  that was episode 1,2, and 3 which in all likely hood gave the audience cancer.  Really though what the hell where you all thinking?   What the hell was that ending, and the beginning?  Did you just give up and figure you could just masturbate on film stock and call it a day?

I still want my money back from Episode I you bastard now I have to try to get my money back from this crap too!  Have you no honor or shame?