I Hate Old People: Social Security And Your Face

Editors Note:  The Drunken Llama was let out of his cage and allowed to write this post.  Yes we said we would try to keep him from ever posting again but he bribed a guard and we were too drunk to give a shit.  So have fun.

OK Kids, it’s time to play with your old uncle Llama so lets get this hatecrime started bitches.

“The bursting of the real estate bubble and the ensuing recession have hurt jobs, home prices and now Social Security.

This year, the system will pay out more in benefits than it receives in payroll taxes, an important threshold it was not expected to cross until at least 2016, according to the Congressional Budget Office.”

OK to be fair this is from the New York Times so it only has a 25% chance of being accurate.  I’m joking it’s the fucking New York Times, as always it’s all lies just to suck up to the Soviets…  Wait, for once that doesn’t even make sense…  Fuck…  More Scotch and let’s just move on for now…

Social Security is fucked, well fuck you politicians! But really what is the point, we know they are scum so why even bother (because I can’t let a chance to tell them to fuck off go to waste) so I’m going to move on.  I’m going to attack someone else for once (OK I attack everyone, especially that Jennifer girl, yeah you know why, don’t play stupid you filthy lying whore… wait what, am I talking to myself on a blog…  Lord I need a drink… Oh scotch… wait what?) .  Thanks old people.  Really Thanks.  No seriously fuck you guys.  You wanted the government to pay for your retirement rather than be responsible with your money and now I get to pay for your Social Security benefits, a benefit I will never see.  OK Social Security is going under and faster than people thought it would, but to top it all off you also managed to make sure that this country is trillions of dollars in debt.  So thanks old people you guys suck a fat fucking cock.  Why am I blaming old people for this and not the politicians?  Because politicians are old people, well older than me anyway and it’s the old people that have been voting these assholes into power for years.  They want all these benefits from the government and have never tried to stop the waste and the spending.  And hell, what do they care, they always figured they would be dead before they ever had to worry about paying off the government debts, it’s on the young to do that.  So fuck you old people.  Look I can understand why young people do stupid things (like vote for Obama) but they are young inexperienced and fucking morons.  A 20 year old kid spent at least 18 years of his life living off of his parents, he doesn’t understand being responsible for himself that well so he looks at the government like it’s his new mommy.  You on the other hand had years to get your shit together, years to figure out how things work and to be responsible for yourself.  Years!   You couldn’t have spent any of that time trying to make sure you saved enough for retirement?  No I understand that things happen, the whole point of Social Security was a safety net for the people that either something bad happened to and need the help or the fucking losers that never got off their lazy asses to help themselves (the second group can go fuck themselves with a baseball bat wrapped in razor wire and AIDS).  It wasn’t a retirement plan and that wasn’t a state secret or anything.  Any literate person in America could have found that one out (hell you don’t even have to be literate, when it was thought up they told everyone it was just a safety net).

The young are irresponsible because they are young, inexperienced, nieve and ignorant, that’s why the older generations are supposed to teach them to be responsible and not a bunch of morons.  Lucky for us the older folk were irresponsible and still fucking ignorant. Fuckin’ A bitches I love paying for other peoples mistakes.  Thanks guys, there isn’t going to be a third-rate nursing home for you, I’m not even going to bother to do that much.  fuck you guys, seriously fuck you…

Now to all the youth out there,  pull your heads out of you asses, look at what the fuckers older than you have done and don’t do the same stupid shit.  Be responsible with your money, save, invest, plan your retirement, because there isn’t going to be any safety net for you.  The countries broke and if you don’t take charge of your own life and your own finances you will be fucked harder than a $2 whore.

Drunken Llama out bitches…

Second Editors Note:  We have returned the Drunken Llama to his cage and apologize to the poor people in the city of Cleveland for the 23 million dollars worth of property damage he caused.  And no, we are not paying, we didn’t even know there was 23 million dollars worth of …  well anything in Cleveland, but the point is don’t blame us, you can blame the fuckers at the liquor store that lets a llama buy 12 cases of scotch.



  1. LOL

    I must go and check out this drunken lama fellow, he’s quite entertaining. Lord knows we need all the uplifting in these socialist and fascist times.

  2. I beg to differ. I’m not so worried about the Llama being out of the cage than I am with the fact that some people schould be kept in cages. And I’m not talking jail, I’m talking a real fucking cage. Put a little water thing on the side like how they do with gerbils and give them some grass or something for a bathroom and make them eat fuckin dog food. It’s funny though with the social security thing. I work in an old folks home and they all talk about how they have all this money in the bank and they just sit around all day and eat and look out the window at the damn squirrals! Now with this damn social security shit there is no way when I’m 70 I will have the money to stay somewhere and just spend my time watching the freakin squirrals. I will still be working prob. Now investments are good and I would investment my money, if I had anything left to invest with. With pay rates and shit and how they love to raise the prices on everything it’s nearly impossible. Now I know what I need to do: find a better job, get paid more blah blah blah. Which I have been in the process of doing. And taking my ass to school in order to find that better job and get paid more. But the process sucks let me tell you. It has sucked like the $2 hoar u speak of. And of course I don’t have a lot of confidence in this country doing shit any better or differently as I get older. So WTF just go on do what ya can and maybe I can get some of those old men to put me in their will before they go and then I can take that money and invest it or put it in savings. Now that’s a plan…

  3. I think that ANY government program should be based on net worth. Let these spoiled old mother fuckers see what it is like to do without. Something they never had to do! Im tired of paying for their new fucking cars, big houses that they dont need and bank rolls! Id like to line them all up and take a punch at them and throw them in the fucking box! I HATE OLD PEOPLE! When I turn 55 Im gonna shine a bullet and plant that son of a bitch in my brain!

  4. nice thing about this is…

    you’ll be old and useless one day too.

    yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (then you’ll be pissing and moaning “where did my tax dollar go?”)

    stupid brats.

  5. You could always pay less taxes save and invest it and then not have to worry about the government having their head in their ass since you were responsible enough to prepare for your own retirement. Just a thought.

  6. you may have missed the point about people selling their decedents future for their current whims.

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