Stupid Headlines: Killer Whales Don’t Kill People in the Wild

Um…  Well maybe that’s because people are smart enough not to play with them when they are in the wild.  Or maybe because people don’t usually get close enough to them in the wild to get eaten, people aren’t really aquatic animals you know.    Bears don’t usually kill people at the zoo unless you jump in their cage and try to give them a hug.  Well don’t get in a fish tank labeled “Killer Whale”,   It’s a Killer Whale, they didn’t put the word Killer in there for nothing you know!  Bears don’t even kill that many people out in the wild since most people are smart enough not to go near them or if they know they might they bring a gun.  Well unless you’re the Grizzly Man and think they’re a mix of your pets and the Care Bears, but the rest of us don’t do that sort of thing because we aren’t stupid hippies. It’s also why I don’t get myself and others eaten by bears unlike that moron Timothy Treadwell.

OK, I know it was a trained Killer Whale but still I’m not playing with it.  I was once in a park in Thailand that had a tiger you could pet, I didn’t.  Yeah it was chained up and had the look in its eyes like it was doped to the gills on downers, but I wasn’t going to do it.  And that is why much like never being eaten by bears or killer whales I have never been eaten by a tiger.

OK the article the headline came from wasn’t bad it explained things well but the headline was silly.

Yes I’m an asshole.


I hate it here…



  1. It ought to wake up a lot of the eco-nutjobs running around crying for the whales, but it won’t.

  2. Yeah well the guy that got him and his girlfriend eaten by bears didn’t so I don’t think this will. Plus they hate things like zoos and Sea World becuase you are “enslaving animals” so it might only make them worse.

  3. I’m surprised that there aren’t more trainers killed by “tamed” animals. And now I wonder if the whale tried to eat her.

  4. I think they said the whale was just playing because it didn’t try to eat her it just held her under the water. Still I don’t play with animals that are 35 feat long and several tonnes.

  5. What I heard some of the reports saying is that the killer whale thought her ponytail was a fish and tried to eat it because it was blonde and shiney. So of course ya can’t stop something that big that thinks something is food. And well, when a killer whale thinks your ponytail is food and wants to eat it and drags you under you don’t stand a chance. But hell like you said they “tamed” it. Everything should have been fine. But there has been other things such as this that have happened. Just look at Siegfried and Roy. That tiger tore him up. Was it Roy?? I think it was. He didn’t die but hell he’s still recovering from that. “Wild Animals” are just that, Wild. So leave them the hell alone or else you’ll get hurt, lose a limb or die.

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