Another Reason To Hate Valentine’s Day

“Agents for Britain’s MI5 intelligence service have discovered that Muslim doctors trained at some of Britain’s leading teaching hospitals have returned to their own countries to fit surgical implants filled with explosives, according to a report from Joseph Farah’s G2 Bulletin.

Women suicide bombers recruited by al-Qaida are known to have had the explosives inserted in their breasts under techniques similar to breast enhancing surgery. The lethal explosives – usually PETN (pentaerythritol Tetrabitrate) – are inserted during the operation inside the plastic shapes. The breast is then sewn up.”

Look it’s bad enough going through the hurdles to score a date on Valentine’s Day, then after you have duped a suitable woman into accepting the date you have to plan it down to the “T” so everything is perfect (and going to turn to shit anyway because you are not perfect and your grand plans will blow up in your face), now you have to check your date for explosive milk jugs? It’s bad enough with all the other things a proper date requires, like hiding the gun where she won’t see it, trying not to say something that will screw you over (you will), and finding a present she will like (you won’t), and now I have to get a bomb sniffing dog.  They’re not cheep and stealing one is not a good idea.  This is insane, it’s hard enough trying not to fuck up a date how the hell do you explain to a girl what you are doing with the dog and why you are making it sniff her sweater puppies?  That’s it, Islam you have a time out.  You are no longer allowed to play with the adults and you get to go to bed without supper.

Really, fuck Valentine’s Day…

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4 Comments

  1. Oh man, it’s just another hurdle to get through in the land of man. lol Shit everytime I think I’ve heard it all there is more coming. Way to go guys getting all diabolical and giving women bomb/boob implants. I think the bomb sniffing dogs might be a bit spendy. Maybe you can act like ya tripped and fall into her and grab her boobs to try to feel around for them. lol Wait, nevermind that might detonate the damn things and that wouldn’t be a good ending to the date. No one should have to worry about dying while they are on a date. There’s enough shit in this world to worry about. Jesus christ on a crutch this world is getting silly.

  2. LOL

    Nicely put.

  3. Thanks, I just try to think of it from a guys point of view. Well I am a women, lady, whatever ya want to call it these days. lol I just think shit has gone to hell and our only saving grace is the people that speak their mind or know the truth. I am loaded with shit gone wrong. I just think it should come to that but hell any shred of knowledge is good for me. I think we are better off knowing than being in the dark. : P To hell with sitting around waiting for the news to tell us shit.

  4. […] h/t Letters From a Dying Dream […]


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