All The News Fit To Make Fun Of

My God, LolCats Are Killing The Planet!:

“Man’s best friend could be one of the environment’s worst enemies, according to a new study which says the carbon pawprint of a pet dog is more than double that of a gas-guzzling sports utility vehicle.”

I know they started with dogs and not cats but they get into how cats are also killing the environment with their evil “carbon paw prints”.  Seriously has anyone stopped to think about the fact that CO2 is natural and required  on this planet or all life will die?

Granted this crap comes from two people that wrote the book “Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living”.  Look I don’t have a problem eating dog or even cat (and I love kittens) and have eaten both, but I really don’t take advice from people who write a book called “Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living”.  It just says “crazy” on so many levels that I’m not about to give a rats ass (something I won’t eat, a rats ass mind you, the meat might be good, I don’t know but it is eaten in some countries) what these morons have to say.  Fuck you Lassie and Mittens are not killing the planet knock off the scare tactics.

We Sell Bears And Propaganda To Your Children:

Really because we don’t have enough idiocy with this Global Warming…  Wait, Fuck it’s cold as hell right now…  Um… Climate Change, yeah that’s it, Climate Change (because it’s not natural or anything, please pay no attention to the last billion years of Earth’s existence).  Yeah and because if it we get this shit from the Build-A-Bear people about how Global Warming is going to end Christmas FOREVER!!!!

Really?  We will never have Christmas again because man is killing the planet through Global Warming?  Fuck you!  Leave the kids alone already and stop it with your bullshit.

Really go to the link and watch the video it’s moronic.  How the fuck was a polar bear friends with a penguin?  So we have real scientific facts to tell kids about the environment but miss the fact that a polar bear would eat the penguin?  Sounds like someone might not know what they are talking about.

How about this asshole build be a bear with a giant middle finger and give it to yourself!

Fuck The Eco-Police, Fuck Fuck The Eco Police:

“A new global body dedicated to environmental stewardship is needed to prevent a repeat of the deadlock which undermined the Copenhagen climate change summit, Gordon Brown will say tomorrow.”

Yeah I don’t have much else for that one.  Fuck the Eco-Police, Fuck Fuck The Eco-Police.  Yes NWA kicks ass and hippies still suck ass.

After Women, Humor Is Columbia’s Greatest Natural Resource:

“Colombia’s defense chief joked Monday that Venezuelan troops might have mistaken Santa’s sleigh for a spy plane, dismissing accusations by President Hugo Chavez about drones flying over Venezuela.

Chavez on Sunday accused the United States of violating Venezuela’s airspace with an unmanned spy plane and ordered his military to be on alert and shoot down any such aircraft.”

Hugo Chavez has turned himself into such a joke the highest military commander in Columbia can’t even bring himself to try to give serious answers to the idiots accusations.  How sad is it for Chavez when he is constantly yelling about an impending war between himself and Columbia and the US and all that Columbia can do is keep laughing at his stupid ass?

Mao Zedong Does Not Belong On The White House Christmas Tree, Or Any Others For That Matter:

“Transvestites, Mao And Obama decorate White House Christmas Tree”

Seriously why the fuck does the White House Christmas Tree Mao Zedong’s face on the ornaments?  I can understand the transvestitse since it is a Democrat in office (not really but I’ll give the fucks some slack here) but Mao?  He murders millions!  He was a communist sort of the opposite of everything this country was founded on.   Obama, if you want people to stop calling you a communist you need to make sure things like this do not happen.  I know you have no idea what you are doing but you could at least look at the fucking tree.  It’s not that fucking hard is it or does the teleprompter have to do everything?

I Don’t Remember The Eighth Commandment Being Optional

“Poor people who are desperate for cash have been advised to go forth and shoplift from major stores – by an Anglican priest.

The Rev Tim Jones said in his Sunday sermon that stealing from successful shops was preferable to burglary, robbery or prostitution.”

But it’s not that bad because he also says that “I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.”

Really?  No it’s always wrong to steal no matter who it’s from, the Eight Commandment doesn’t have any qualifiers in it, its “Thou shalt not steal” end of discussion.  But no it’s OK to steal from big stores because they have a lot of money so it’s OK right?  “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house; neither shalt thou desire… his servant, nor his handmaiden, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is his. The tenth commandment forbids coveting the goods of another.”  Oh fuck, wait that’s the Tenth Commandment right?  Something about jealousy about people who have more then you?  Oh crap so it’s coveting and stealing, Right.

I recommend the people at his church fined a new one and that the Anglican leadership strip him of his priesthood.  He can think what he wants but I don’t think you need to keep around a priest that can’t figure out something as simple as the Ten Commandments.

And In The “No Shit” File:

“U.S. banks that spent more money on lobbying were more likely to get government bailout money, according to a study released on Monday.

Banks whose executives served on Federal Reserve boards were more likely to receive government bailout funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Program, according to the study from Ran Duchin and Denis Sosyura, professors at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business.”

Yeah, we didn’t already know this?  OK some people didn’t but some people are stupid.  We live in a Corporatist State it happens. And the more money they sent Obama the more money they got back right?  Of course.  I’m not saying it’s right, we need to destroy how it works so we can fix this shit.

Always Remember When You Are Broke Always Give Away Money:

“The planet may be saved after all, and it will only cost $100 billion.

Just as the Copenhagen climate summit appeared to be on the verge of unraveling, the United States Thursday announced its support of an annual $100 billion climate protection fund, the Associated Press reports.

“The US is prepared to work with other countries toward a goal of jointly mobilizing $100 billion a year by 2020 to address the climate change needs of developing countries,” Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said.”

Look the whole Global Warming/Climate Change is a scam, the country is fucking broke, stop giving away what is left of our money.  We give away enough money to the murderers and rapist at the UN just stop it already!

The fastest way to “Save The World” would be for every Politician (and every Hippie, Communist, Nazi, Socialist and Corporatist) to put a gun to their own head and pull the fucking trigger twice.  It might not solve everything instantly but it’s the only shot this world as at a good start.

Because The Fastest Way To Fiscal Solvency Is Always to Increase Debt:

“The measure, passed last week by the House of Representatives, would increase the debt limit, now at $12.1 trillion, by $290 billion.

Senate Democrats may approve the measure largely by themselves because most, if not all, Republicans are expected to vote against it, Republican aides said. Democrats control the Senate, 60-40.”

ARE YOU ALL FUCKING STUPID OR ARE YOU DOING THIS ON PURPOSE?

Seriously, please, please kill yourselves.

Welcome To The Lesser Of Two Evils:

“A U.S. House Democrat who opposes the health care overhaul announced Tuesday he is defecting to the GOP, another blow to Democrats ahead of the midterm elections.

U.S. Rep. Parker Griffith spoke to reporters at his home in northern Alabama, a region that relies heavily on defense and aerospace jobs.

“I believe our nation is at a crossroads and I can no longer align myself with a party that continues to pursue legislation that is bad for our country, hurts our economy, and drives us further and further into debt,” Griffith said as his wife Virginia stood by his side.”
Really both parties suck a phat one, the Republicans just suck less so welcome to the party of less suck.

I hate it here.

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