Mad Max 4: Oh God Why?

So they might make a new Mad Max film.   I’ll let that sink in for a little bit…

 

OK, first the good news.  George Lucas and Steven Spielburg will have nothing whatsoever to do with this film.  The bad news is that even if Lucas and Spielberg will not be here to Donkey Punch more of your childhood there is a good chance your childhood will still be molested  a bit.

 

George Miller the man who directed Mad Max is going to direct this one too so it might not be all bad, but remember he was responsible for Beyond the Thunderdome (not as bad as people say it is but still kinda sucks) and Happy Feet (I would rather shoot myself in the dick then watch this shit and they are making a new one), so if you’re lucky they might sell suicide pills at the theaters concession stand.

 

Did the movie industry run out of any original ideas?  Really there are millions of books out there that haven’t been turned into movies use one of them, at least if your going to just rip off something that already exists find something that hasn’t been turned into a movie or make another fucking remake.  Not Shakespeare!  That mine is so dry and polluted people will soon be making movies based off of West Side Story thinking that shit was the start of it all.

 

Mel Gibson will not be in this movie, it’s probably a good thing but that means they are going to have another actor play the part of Max Rockatansky.  Couldn’t they just had it in the same world and a new protagonist with a new story?  Max Junior, one of the kids saved at the end of Thunderdome, anything really.  Sometimes using a new actor to play the same part can work but it doesn’t always.  In fact most of the time it fails miserably like when Katie Holmes was replaced by a Bloodhound in The Dark Knight to play Rachel Dawes.  It took years for Batman to come back from the atrocity that was George Clooney and nipples on the Bat-suit and even then they tried to throw it all away by digitally altering Batman’s voice into idiocy and casting Jake Gyllenhaal’s dog as the main love interest for the second movie.  The point is filmmakers cannot be trusted.

 

With all these remakes we are getting dangerously close to some asshole trying to remake The Goonies, and I swear to God that if some douchebag even thinks about this I will start a nuclear war just to stop it!  Yes.  I am serious.  I am perfectly willing to annihilate all life on this planet in order to stop that from ever being made.

 

 

I hate it here…

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