Once Again I Have No Real Post So It’s Back To Making Fun Of The News

Sooner or later I’ll come up with a new Drunken Rant or actual commentary but till then I’ll just go on with the silliness that is the News Roundups I’ve been doing a lot lately.

This Isn’t The Big Lie, I’ll Explain The Big Lie In a Minute

“The Obama administration appears to be using fuzzy math to count the number of jobs created by the $787 billion stimulus package, according to two analyses that show counters included pay raises and hours worked as actual jobs.”

So here is the original number and how it works out:

787 billion divided by 640 000 = $1, 229,687.5 price per job

Here is the new number and how it works out:

787 billion divided by 620. 000 = $1, 269,354.84 price per job

So the difference between $1, 229,687.5 and $1, 269,354.84 isn’t that much only.  It’s only $39667.34 and not that much compared to the price of the usual shit the government finds ways to waste money on.  No the real problem is that we spent 787 billion dollars to save/create  620,000 jobs at a coast of about 2624 dollars per person in the US. on about 0.02% of the US population.  Before you start complaining about my numbers I used 300 million as the US population just to make it simple the population is a couple million higher than that.

The big lie is that this was supposed to stimulate the economy, it hasn’t done shit, a lot of money did go to help Obama’s friends and his donners but the jobless rate keeps increasing, it’s over 10% the last time I checked meaning we lost a lot more jobs than we have saved.  That is the big lie, the BS we just spent 787 billion on and got shit for.

Pay No Attention To The Fact That He Was Yelling “Allahu Akbar”
The Shooting At Fort Hood Had nothing to do with Islam, really nothing please pay no attention to the religion behind the curtain.

“Major Nidal Malik Hasan, the gunman who killed 13 at America’s Fort Hood military base, once gave a lecture to other doctors in which he said non-believers should be beheaded and have boiling oil poured down their throats. “

Stop it, this has nothing to do with Islam.  Islam is a Peaceful religion so stop making Islam look bad.

“When the sacred months are over slay the idolaters wherever you find them. Arrest them, besiege them, and lie in ambush everywhere for them. If they repent and take to prayer and render the alms levy, allow them to go their way. God is forgiving and merciful.” – Koran, Sura 9:5

Fuck…  Never Mind.

Wait!  It’s about combat stress right?  Yeah, sure, most people off themselves over that if they are going to do anything.  Yeah they sometimes hurt other people but it is rare (unless it’s a bar fight) and they don’t usually scream “Allahu Akbar” while they are doing it.  In fact I think this is the first time someone has.

Considering He Spent His Formative Years Hanging Out With Communists And Even Have Them On Staff Why Is Anyone Surprised By This?
“The president does not plan to travel to Germany to attend the 20th anniversary celebration Monday of the fall of the Berlin Wall, drawing heated criticism from those who say he’s ignoring a shining triumph of American-inspired democracy.”

I don’t think Bill Ayers is celebrating either.  Really Obama has had admitted communists on staff, plus he has people still on staff that are at least sympathetic to communism, why is anyone Surprised by this.  I know because people expect him to lie about it a little better and not make is quite so obvious.  But Really, the guy hung out with communists, his parents were communists and he admitted to intentionally seeking out Marxist professors in college.  Obama might not be a communist, but he is sympathetic.

Can we pretend he did not say that?

I didn’t Know Africa Was A Plumber

“Giant Crack in Africa Will Become New Ocean”

Geology can be fun.  Especially when you’re 4 beers into this post and all you can think about is a sophomoric butt joke.  Must be an adult.  Must be an adult.  Must be an adult…

Fuck it!  Can someone tell Africa to pull his pants up?

A Woman’s Right To Have An Abortion Is Sacred…  Oh God, What the Hell Are You Doing To That Baby!?

“The former director of a Planned Parenthood clinic in southeast Texas says she had a “change of heart” after watching an abortion last month — and she quit her job and joined a pro-life group in praying outside the facility

Abby Johnson, 29, used to escort women from their cars to the clinic in the eight years she volunteered and worked for Planned Parenthood in Bryan, Texas. But she says she knew it was time to leave after she watched a fetus “crumple” as it was vacuumed out of a patient’s uterus in September.

‘When I was working at Planned Parenthood I was extremely pro-choice,” Johnson told FoxNews.com. But after seeing the internal workings of the procedure for the first time on an ultrasound monitor, “I would say there was a definite conversion in my heart … a spiritual conversion…”

I always hated the pro-life crowd that always held up the signs of dead babies.  I don’t agree with abortion, it’s wrong I know, I just never liked seeing that shit.  But after this don’t bother with the pictures, just show everyone a video.  You can call it emotional blackmail if you want, but so was forcing the local Germans in WWII to look at the inside of a concentration camp if we are going that route.  It’s showing the truth, and the truth needs to be seen.

“Johnson said she became disillusioned with her job after her bosses pressured her for months to increase profits by performing more and more abortions, which cost patients between $505 and $695.

“Every meeting that we had was, ‘We don’t have enough money, we don’t have enough money — we’ve got to keep these abortions coming,'” Johnson told FoxNews.com. “It’s a very lucrative business and that’s why they want to increase numbers.”

So is the abortion industry about “woman’s health” or making money off infanticide?  Remember kids Planned Parenthood was set up as a eugenics program, and if that doesn’t bother you, you need help.

Stop It.  Just Stop It Already!

“Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez told the military and civil militias today to prepare for war as a deterrent to a U.S.-led attack after American troops gained access to military bases in neighboring Colombia.”

I know this kind of bullshit might have worked at least a little with your more idiotic followers but Obama is president.  He can’t even fake it enough to look like he wants to win the wars he is already dealing with why the hell do you think he is going to start another one?  Plus you are both leftist demagogues, you’re on the same side.  Granted Obama is at least sane, incompetent childish and a crybaby but he is at least a sane man-child.  Anyway as I have said before Chavez is an annoying asshole, but he has reason for it.

“We all know this is because Chavez needs the propaganda and this kind of thing to maintain power.  Kim Jong-il has been using the “inevitable invasion” of North Korean by America and their lap-dogs in the South for years to control his little Hermit Kingdom, and Castro has used America for years in order to maintain his power.  Dictators need an enemy, they need propaganda, they need the threat of war.”

I should quote myself more often, I like me…

Anyhoo, Obama is not going to start a war, he doesn’t even want to fight the one he’s in. Columbia doesn’t want to start a war otherwise they would have done it by now considering Chavez’s support of Columbia arch-enemy the FARC.  And this friends is what you call “Propaganda”.  I just hope Chavez is still sane enough not to start the shit himself.

Please Stop With The Obama Propaganda In Our Schools

“11 Uncovered Videos Show School Children Performing Praises to Obama”

Now before you start yelling that I only care because I don’t like Obama, shut the fuck up!  We do not sign praises to politicians!  I liked Reagan, but if I see people making their children, or teachers making children sing songs of praise to Reagan I’m going to get pissed off.  We are better than this.  We are a Constitutional Republic and we don’t do these kinds of things, despotisms do!  Please knock of the Obama-cult shit!

This Is Not Going To Work

“The health care reform bill awaiting debate in the House assumes millions of workers and employers would rather pay $167 billion in fines than purchase or provide adequate coverage, according to a recent analysis, raising questions about whether the plan does enough to make insurance affordable.”

So what happens if people don’t pay the 167 billion?  Wouldn’t the system collapse for lack of funds?  If you are going to create something you might want to make sure you can pay for it.  Yes it would be nice if everyone paid for their own health insurance, but if you are hoping that you can pay for this with people who don’t have it you might want to make sure that they can’t get it or the funds are going to dry up.  Granted this could just be a sick way to end up forcing everyone into a single payer government-run program but the government would never try to do that would they?


White Woman Cannot Dress Like Lil’ Wayne For Halloween

“Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Whitney Isleib has inadvertently stepped into a Halloween controversy by reportedly dressing up as soon-to-be incarcerated rapper Lil’ Wayne in black-face.”

I’m going with the “This is silly” argument.  I’ll let some of the commentators give you what’s up:

“Blackface? BLACKFACE?!?!? That term pertains to a specific,archaic practice, which, I hate to tell them, has nothing to do w/ Halloween! My friend, who is caucasian, LOVES Jimi Hendrix, and came to my H’ween party dressed like him. He made himself up, including his skin tone, to match closer to Hendrix’s – OR NO ONE WOULD’VE KNOWN WHO HE WAS”

“It’s stupid if the news reports this why not report when Eddie Murphy dressed up as An old Jewish Man.Or Dave Chapelle did a white faced news reporter? or even the white chics movie done by The Wayans brothers.”


“I cannot believe that this was even brought to the public’s attention. Who cares what she dressed up as, it’s Halloween and The United States of America is also a free country, correct? I am SO sick of reverse discrimination. Would anybody care if a black person painted their body with white paint and dressed up as Kid Rock? Nope, but a white girl dresses up as a black male rapper and all h*(# breaks loose. Let’s try have the Caucasian Grammy’s vs the Latin Grammy’s that are on tonight, let’s have caucasian history month, let’s try to set up one organization, one college, one anything referring to only caucasian’s and we’re racist….. double standards… It’s time for people to realize that all people are people regardless of the color of their skin and every citizen of The United States has a right to dress up for Halloween as whomever they chose and if another person finds it offensive, get over it !!!”


“The Wayans brothers dress up as white girls and make a make a movie called “White Chicks” and mock them throughout and it’s….ok?”

Please can we knock off the bullshit!!!  Seriously this “Post-Racial America” thing isn’t working out so well.

Well Thank You Asshole For The Fact Half My High School Had To Take Medication For Exposure to Tuberculosis

“A Los Angeles doctor has allegedly found a creative way to speed up his workflow.

Levon Tebelekian, 72, is accused of giving medical clearance to immigrants applying for U.S. visas by allegedly falsifying the results of medical exams and lab tests, the Los Angeles Times reported.

In one case, he allegedly told an undercover ICE agent that he was not going to “disturb his blood” and that he “did not look like he had AIDS,” according to an affidavit.”

OK I will admit it might not have been this assholes fault since I’m from the East Coast but come the fuck on!  I know you can’t be 100% on everything but at least try to protect the country a little from shit.  “He did not look like he had AIDS…”  Really?  If people “looked” like they had AIDS it would spread very far now would it?

And on with the end or something

Am I ripping off Fark with the joke headlines?  I’m not going to stop I just want to know if you care.

I hate it here…



  1. Re: Blackface

    Black people need to get over it. It’s always been here, it will always be here. You just let Spike get your little panties in a wad. So quit cry you cry-babies.

  2. You lost me on the “Spike” thing.

    The is a difference between a Halloween costume were you are dressing up like an actual person and the “Blackface” that went on in Hollywood due to real racism.

    Racism does exist, it comes from every race, and it’s wrong but this isn’t it. The more time we spend worrying about a Halloween costume from some girl that wanted to dress up like a rapper she likes the less time is focused on real racism and it’s destroying the term.

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