Thursday News Roundup And Other Atrocities

OK, I’m back from my sabbatical to the local emergency room and then the mental institution and it’s time to get back to work.  Lucky for you I feal fine and the Drunken Llama is in hiding from all the death threats he received over his attempt at humor and will not be joining us.

Um, You Have Been Told You Will All Still Have To Pay For This Shit Right?

“Amendment Would Let Kansas Opt Out of Potential Health Reforms”

It’s good to know you remember what the 10th Amendment is but the Federal Government doesn’t and they will still had you a bill.  Unless you can make sure your taxpayers are not sending money to D.C. to pay for their little idiotic ideas you will just be paying for other people crappy medical insurance and not even getting the chance to let it kill you too.  What you really need to do is sue the shit out of Congress for violating your Constitutional Rights in the hope you can keep your money from getting stollen.  Granted that lawsuit will probably end with a lot of political bullshit if D.C. even lets it get into a court in the first place.

New York Builds Wall To Keep People Fleeing To The West

“New Yorkers are fleeing the state and city in alarming numbers — and costing a fortune in lost tax dollars, a new study shows.

More than 1.5 million state residents left for other parts of the United States from 2000 to 2008, according to the report from the Empire Center for New York State Policy. It was the biggest out-of-state migration in the country.

The vast majority of the migrants, 1.1 million, were former residents of New York City — meaning one out of seven city taxpayers moved out.”

Who would have thought that people didn’t like high taxes and and outragiously high cost of living?  Really, did New York think they could just tax people into the ground and people would just get up and move?  I know you professors at Columbia told you that the Berlin Wall was to keep people from fleeing West Germany into the Socialist Utopia that was East Germany but it was the other way around.  The wall was to keep people in, New York However has no such wall.  I will have to ask all the NY carpetbaggers the same thing I ask of the Californian carpetbaggers, not to bring in your idiotic political notions that got you all into the mess you are running from in the first place.  If you want to tax people into the ground go ahead and see what happens when they start leaving and taking their money with them.  I believe the phrase is “Killing the Golden Goose”, once you do it you’re fucked.


Japan Forgets Obama’s Ascension Brought World Peace, Continues With Missile Shield

“Japanese naval forces successfully shot down a medium-range missile off Hawaii in a test of Tokyo’s missile defense weaponry, the US military said on Wednesday.

A Japanese destroyer detected, tracked and knocked out the missile in mid-flight with an SM-3 interceptor rocket, the US Missile Defense Agency (MDA) said in a statement.”

Apparently Japan didn’t get the memo that now Obama is in power there will never be another war and all nuclear weapons are all gone (hence the Nobel Prize), since they are still working on that silly little missile shield all the smart people know will never work (this who article is a lie, nothing happened, the CIA and Haliburton made it all up to get DarthCheney a daytime Emmy), maybe Poland and Czech Republic should talk to them about missile defense since Obama decided we shouldn’t help them even if they are soon to be in firing range of a murderous and insane country to the south.  Never mind the murderous and insane country to the east.
And Now I’m Going To Pretend I’m Surprised

“During his first nine months in office, President Obama has quietly rewarded scores of top Democratic donors with VIP access to the White House, private briefings with administration advisers and invitations to important speeches and town-hall meetings.

High-dollar fundraisers have been promised access to senior White House officials in exchange for pledges to donate $30,400 personally or to bundle $300,000 in contributions ahead of the 2010 midterm elections, according to internal Democratic National Committee documents obtained by The Washington Times.”

What?!  NOOOOOO!!! The Obamessiah would never allow himself to get bought off for money to help him get into power, he’s a new kind of politician, he’s The ONE, our Hope for Change, the…  Oh Fuck it…  I can’t do it any more, it’s over,  Really did anyone with half a brain really thing he was anything more than another politician?  A politician from Chicago, a place know for only four things; very cold wind, massive political corruption, dead people voting (or massive voter fraud), and an insanely high murder rate.

But What Happens When We Do Need It

“Obama, who signed the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2010 in an elaborate East Room ceremony at the White House, said the bill finally cuts wasteful weapons projects that some lawmakers have spent years trying to kill. Among them is the Cold War-era F-22 fighter that critics have said is poorly suited for the battles in Iraq and Afghanistan.”

Just because the F-22 isn’t needed in  in Iraq and Afghanistan doesn’t mean we won’t need it some other time, war is not going to go away any time soon, no matter how many times Obama gets a Nobel Prize.  We also didn’t need submarines in the Korean War but that doesn’t mean we should have gotten rid of the things after 1946, we needed them later didn’t we?  Afghanistan is a land locked country, does that mean we should get rid of all of our mine sweepers since we don’t need them at this moment?  Yes sometimes things become obsolete, the F-22 is not one of them, and the day we end up in a war with a country with a real air force we are going to wish we had them.  Japan, South Korea want them, but no we won’t even let our own allies buy the things.  If we are lucky they will just find a way to build something themselves and then when the time come and we realize we fucked up we can try to buy them off those guys, and hopefully they will not give us the finger.

Why Is This In a Defense Bill?

In the same legislation form earlier:

“And the legislation includes a measure — the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act– that authorizes the Justice Department to investigate and prosecute violent attacks in which the perpetrator has targeted a victim because of the his or her actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability.”

OK, why is this in a defense bill, even if this should become law shouldn’t this be a separate item?    Matthew Shepard’s murder was not a “hatecrime” it was a robbery, a violent one that led to his death. Matt might have been gay, but it was still just a robbery that turned to murder.  I’m not saying the bastards that killed him shouldn’t be punished, they should get the chair (they didn’t), but calling this a hate crime is silly.  The idea of “Hate Crimes” are silly to begin with, all crimes are evil, punish the person for the act, their thoughts might be a motive, but you cannot criminalize thoughts, or more to the point you shouldn’t criminalize thoughts because it never leads anyplace good.

The Fastest Way To Show You’re Lying

North Korea claims it is the greatest and most advanced country in the world.  They then make it illegal for their people to leave and find out the truth.

The East Germany Claimed to be a better place to live than West Germany.  They Then Build a wall to keep people from leaving.

Southern Democrats claimed Blacks were inferior.  They then made it illegal for them to learn to read and write so they could “prove” it.

“Iran’s supreme leader said Wednesday that questioning the results of Iran’s June presidential election is a crime, his strongest warning yet to opposition leaders who continue to insist the vote was rigged.”

See the pattern yet?

If you want to prove something is true you don’t make asking questions illegal, you only do that to hide the truth.  You also don’t have to beat and murder the people asking questions if you not lying out your ass.    At least if you are going to lie your happy ass off do a better job of it.  Make up a bunch of fake reports and have a fake panel of investigators look into the matter and have nice little fake hearings and make it all look legit like they do in Venezuela.  Come on guys I know you don’t have a very firm grasp on reality but you could at least try a little.  You’re like John Wayne Gacy walking around town with a shirt that says “I’m Not The Guy Killing Your Children” while he’s covered in blood.

Come And Get Me You Freaks

A few pen strokes thrust Kurt Westergaard into the midst of an international crisis, exposing him to death threats and an alleged assassination plot.

Terror charges brought against two Chicago men this week show the 74-year-old Dane remains a potential target for extremists, four years after he drew a caricature of the Prophet Muhammad wearing a bomb-shaped turban.

“I am an old man so I am not so afraid anymore,” Westergaard said Tuesday in an interview with Jyllands-Posten, the Danish newspaper that first published his drawing in September 2005 along with 11 other cartoons of Muhammad.

The drawings triggered an uproar a few months later when Danish and other Western embassies in several Muslim countries were torched by angry protesters who felt the cartoons had profoundly insulted Islam.

Islamic law generally opposes any depiction of the prophet, even favorable, for fear it could lead to idolatry”.

Don’t back down, if you do the bastards win.  Freedom of Speech and of the Press is part of the life blood of civilized and free societies.  Appeasement hasn’t worked yet, and it defiantly isn’t going to work against people who believe that killing anyone that doesn’t agree with them is the holy order from god.  These people are crazy, they will kill goats  for showing their private parts and ban woman from buying cucumbers.  They don’t understand reason, you cannot work out your differences over a beer, they want to kill you.

So If It’s Fine To Only Hire Black Cops In Black Neighborhoods, Is If Fine To Only Hire White Cops In White Neighborhoods?

“EAST ST. LOUIS — City officials seeking a new police chief passed up the former director of the Florida Highway Patrol, who formerly was a top commander of the Illinois State Police, because he is white, two former members of a city board claim.”

This Post-Racial America thing isn’t working out very well is it?  Seriously I don’t know if the accusations are true but if they are this is screwed up.  You can’t have different standards for different people, it’s not going to work very well.  Racism is Racism no matter who it comes from, and Racism is wrong.  It’s always wrong.  Yes this is coming from the site that let a Drunken Llama post terrible jokes the other day but that was jokes, and the same kind of shit was funny when it was on The Chappelle Show and you know it, this is fucking with people lives.    The point is we need to get past this race bullshit, and fast, we are not fucking Crayola Colors and segregation is wrong no matter who does it.

The Logical End Of The Twinkie Defense

“TRENTON, N.J. —  A Florida man accused of killing his son-in-law in New Jersey is arguing that he was unable to commit the crime because he was too fat.”

Remember if the Twinkie Defense isn’t working you can always change it up a it and claim the Twinkies made you so fat that you couldn’t possible have gotten off the couch long enough to kill anyone.  Pay no attention that it doesn’t take a lot of effort to pull a trigger your flabby arms are so heavy that you couldn’t possible lift a gun long enough to shoot someone.  Back in reality fat people can kill people, they just have a harder time running from the cops.

Pay No Attention To The Billions Of Animals That Use The Ocean For A Toilet Every Minute

“Federal Agencies Raise Alarm About Cruise Sewage”

What, they dump crap in the ocean, a place filled with fish crap?  NOOOOOOO!!!  I do find the update at the bottom funny, were a VP for a cruse line explains how they treat the crap exceeds what is necessary under the law.  You know the law, something that comes from “Federal Agencies”?

“Eric Ruff, executive vice president for public policy and communications of the Cruise Lines International Association, has responded to this story with the following statement:

The story entitled “Federal Agencies Raise Alarm About Cruise Sewage” omits key information and is flat wrong about the current state of environmental practices within our industry, particularly related to the discharge of black water or “sewage.” No black water is discharged into the ocean by CLIA members before it is treated.

Regulators have set requirements on effluent quality for every discharge from a ship in U.S. waters. CLIA members (we represent 97 percent of North American cruise business) use technology and follow practices and procedures that meet, and in most cases exceed, these requirements. In many cases, the purified wastewater effluent from a cruise ship is cleaner than that of many municipalities.

It is regrettable your reporter failed to contact the industry for this information. Moreover, the EPA, in its December 2008 Cruise Ship Discharge Assessment Report, commended industry for its solid waste (cans, glass, paper, etc) management practices. The report noted the cruise industry’s overall environmental standards are “designed to increase compliance with regulatory regimes and in some cases incorporate voluntary standards and procedures that go beyond what is required by law or regulation.”

Remember It’s Wrong To Spy On Us, Even If We Send A Lot Of Money To A Domestic Marxist Narco-Terrorist Organization Trying To Destroy You.

“Venezuela says it has captured pair of Colombian spies”

Venezuelan authorities have captured two Colombian spies, says President Hugo Chavez, who also is accusing the United States of being behind efforts to destabilize his leftist government.

The Colombian Administrative Department of Security, known by its Spanish acronym DAS, denies any espionage against Venezuela.

Chavez said the two Colombians will be put on trial.

“When a hostile government increases its investigations, daring to violate international accords … that indicates there are plans against Venezuela, and behind those Colombians is the hand of the CIA and the U.S.,” Chavez said Tuesday. “Respect us like we respect Colombian sovereignty.”

Francisco Arias Cardenas, the Venezuelan vice minister of foreign affairs for Latin America, said the government sent a protest note to the Colombian Foreign Ministry.

“DAS agents were captured spying, which violates the agreements of the Charter of Nations between brother countries, and we reject such actions,” Arias Cardenas said Tuesday.

He said the Venezuelan Foreign Ministry demanded that the Colombian government “stop … activities in Venezuelan territory that are not friendly or fraternal at all.”

Can Someone please tell Hugo to shut up, it stopped being funny 8 years ago.  Look even if they are Columbian spies I don’t care, Hugo Chavez sends tonnes of money to the FARC, a Marxist terrorist group that kidnaps people and produces drugs.  They also what to destroy the Columbian government, of course they are going to spy on Venezuela.  It would be like America fighting Hitler and pretending Mussolini didn’t exist.   Chavez you and the FARC have always been in bed together so stop bitching about things you should expect to happen.  Also Mr. Chavez every time you mention the CIA you make yourself sound crazier than we already think you are.  If the CIA gave a shit about you they would have either killed you by now or they can’t do it.  Either way you don’t have anything to worry about (well other than the fact your countries economy is collapsing, but that’s your fault not the CIA).

OK, I’m Done, I ran out of stories to make fun of and don’t have the urge to look for more right now.  Have fun, please remember pay no attention to the Llama, he’s an asshole and always remember to watch out for the Tentacles…


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