I Think I’m Ranting Japanese, Ranting Japanese, I really Think So…

drunk in japan

Orange juice, yes common orange juice, why do I bring it up, because it’s good, not in the states but in Japan.  For some reason all orange juice in America doesn’t taste right, especially the crap with the pulp in it that feels like you’re drinking orange flavored egg drop soup mixed with peanut butter and it doesn’t really taste like an orange. It’s orange like, but not orange. Try it some time, fresh squeeze  your own and then buy some at the store and see the difference, In Japan however it tastes like it’s fresh squeezed.   It’s great, god did I miss it while I was away, plus to make it even better you can put Shōchū in it and make a Chu-hai, oh god how tasty that one is, it’s hangover juice but so, so tasty.

It’s been a month and still not one major English language news organization has bothered to mention the fact ousted Honduran President Manuel Zelaya tried to rig the vote in his referendum.  Yep, keep selling the Honduran people down the river guys.  I would yell at the UN, EU, OAS and the Obama administration, but we already know they are a bunch of bastards, there are at least some journalists still out there with integrity, or there used to be I guess.

I don’t remember who said this but it’s funny:

“The bad news is that North Korea can hit the US with nukes. The good news is that they can only hit San Francisco and Seattle.”

The sad thing is I live in Japan now and they like to fire the things over our heads, and if I know anything about North Korean technology it sucks so the question is how long it takes them to shoot one that does not make it very far and it hits us.

I saw a car called Naked today, yes there is a car called a Daihatsu Naked, Daihatsu is the company naturally, they also have a truck called the Atari and the child in me wants it really badly he would even give up cookies for a week.  The adult in me just realized that his investments rebounded and has to keep telling himself not to buy it, Yes it’s called an Atari, no you don’t need it.  Stupid adults…

My love life is as follows:
Dreams are only dreams when you are asleep, after that your just lying to yourself.

I’d still burn whole countries to the ground for you though…

Since I have been in Japan I have had conversations with two different people where I justified the dropping of the atomic bombs, the first one asked me if I could be a guest speaker at one of the collage classes she teaches (something I was unable to do at the time) and the other looked at me like I was a moron.  You could call me insensitive but it’s not that, history is filled with things people don’t want to talk about, I will, not because I’m insensitive but because I care about the truth, and the truth can be ugly.  History is filled with things we would rather gloss over or lie about, but you can’t or should not do that.  I love Japan, I love the people, I really do, but I’m not going to sit here and lie, I’m not going to walk away from ugly truths, I can’t it’s not me.  The younger generation doesn’t know because they don’t want to teach it in schools, they don’t want to say what really happened, they talk about the two atomic bombs and little else, if you ask them about Nanking they don’t know about it or it’s whitewashed.  If you point at me with fingers to accuse me of Nagasaki, I say Nanking, we all have our faults but don’t pretend yours are not there and expect me to grovel over mine.  It’s not America where they seem to intentionally talk up the bad things their country has done and pay little attention to the good things, Japan is the opposite.  Interestingly enough, they don’t hate America as much as Americans do, and might even like it more, they just whitewash a few things form history.

I know a man that was in the Imperial Navy during the war, he’s a really nice guy and we have had quite a few long conversations.  I didn’t talk about the bombings with him because I didn’t want to, we talked of other aspects of the war, the Kamikaze pilots and the fact he was part of a secret suicide mission involving submarines that never got off the ground due to the end of the war.  He was saddened by what his country had done, not because he looked at the bad things and wanted to stick his finger in it’s eye but because he was a part of it so he feels guilty.  I understand but I know it wasn’t his fault even if he was a part of it.  The thing is people want to feel guilty especially in the west for things they didn’t do, just because their country did it, I wouldn’t blame the current Japanese for Pearl Harbor or Nanking, since they didn’t do it, and you can recognize the sins of old without wallowing in them like many in the west do, or at worst they condemn their own countries for something long past.  The same man I speak of would also buy rounds at the bar for any American sailor he met, he would shake his head and laugh, “I was in the navy too”, he would tell them to be safe and wish them luck.  He was jaded by the war but at the same time they where his younger brothers, he could never condemn them or leave them, only hope to teach them what he had learned.  No one hates war more than a veteran but no one loves a soldier more.

Before anyone tries to yell at me about the atomic bombs and how bad they were, remember this war is a terrible thing, it always will be, but those two bombs ended a war and they took less lives than the normal bombing raids over any city during that war.  Yes it was terrible but so is life and so is history and while you can never – or should never – completely divorce anything from emotions you cannot let it rule you, that leads to irrationality and you lose sight of the truth.

As much as I love punk, Megadeth is still one of the best bands ever.

I was watching a video on Youtube by Suicidal tendencies and a bunch of asshole were talking about Metallica and how much better they are, you know what fuck Metallica, really, who cares if you think one is better of not, Suicidal tendencies kicks ass, and unlike Metallica they never sold the fuck out.  Yes Metallica made more money and sold more albums but who cares, people like crap music, Coldplay, Britney Spears and Madonna have sold tonnes of albums, that doesn’t make them good that only makes them popular crap.  Just remember this no matter how much money Metallica makes or how many albums they sell, Megadeth will always be and has always been a better band and they know it.   Yeah that might be a cheep shot at Metallica but when it all comes down to it it’s true, and Suicidal Tendencies I also a better band as well.

I think the oven at my house might suck, if you put on 400 I think it ends up about 20, but if you put it on 500 it ends up about 10,000.  Thanksgiving is going to be fun because it’s going to be at my place and I need to make the turkey.  My microwave is the same way, since it’s an American one is runs off of 110 volts were in Japan things run off of 100 volts so it takes much longer to cook things.  The voltage issue makes things fun, your digital American alarm clock will slowly loss the time because it will run slower than it’s supposed to so after a couple weeks you will be very late for work.  That’s why mine runs off of batteries, so I don’t have that problem, I could just buy a Japanese alarm clock but I got used to my little crummy battery powered one so I don’t bother.

Why yes it might be early to talk about Thanksgiving, but really fuck you.

I know the answer to the question “Do these pants make my ass look fat?”, it’s yes, because no matter what you say you’re going to get into a fight, so if you just say yes eventually you will get the greatest gift a woman could ever give a man, she won’t ask those kind of questions any more.  Granted she might also give herself the best gift she could ever have and get a divorce.  Either way someone wins.

I’m sick of hearing the “Think of the children argument”, I’m not going to “think of the children”, because one, I’m not Michael Jackson, and two I don’t have any.  They are your kids, take responsibility for the choices you made in life.  But no, people can’t do that anymore and since I won’t willingly take other peoples responsibilities onto my own shoulders they resort to emotional blackmail to get me to do it anyway.  Well I won’t, if you want my money be honest about it and just try to mug my ass, and I’ll do to you what I do to all muggers and put a .40 S&W Hydra-Shok through your rib cage.  Seriously though, politicians and the teachers unions have been using this crap for years over our schools, and we keep following them and our school keep getting worse, why because it’s a joke!  The politicians and unions do this to get more of your money, and the parents do this because they don’t want to have to be parents, and we all pay the price, even the kids (who you need to think about you insensitive bastard).

Since I have lived in Japan I noticed some things, like sarcasm and irony not only don’t translate very well but are almost unknown to much of the population.  Granted it’s also a place were the romantic comedies have higher body counts than Saving Private Ryan and the game shows look like an episode of Jackass with questions, so what should I expect.  And I’m talking about real irony, not the douchebag irony all the hipster assholes think is cool but is really just annoying and stupid.  Really though, I love it out here it’s just that subtle forms of humor do not always go through the language barrier very well.  And before you start yelling I know they have sarcasm in Japan, just watch the show Gin Tama and you will know they do, it’s just that Japanese comedy relies more on phisical the phisical side.

It’s a short  rant today, have fun.

I hate it here…



  1. “The bad news is that North Korea can hit the US with nukes. The good news is that they can only hit San Francisco and Seattle.”

    Yeah, that is a good one.

    No idea they had the Daihatsu Naked. But one thing i know, the japs have way better cars that they send down south. You Americans get better than us too.

  2. The funny this about cars in Japan though is that up north a lot of people import American trucks and SUVs because they are better in the snow than some of the Japanese models plus they have more space up there so it’s not that hard to get around in them like it is in Tokyo. Also there is more competition in the states with cars so the Japanese know they can only send their best (not always the case but it’s important). Since Australia doesn’t have many domestic car manufacturers that I know of there isn’t the same level of competition so it’s not as big of a worry. every time I have been in Australia most of the cars I saw where either Toyota, Ford or Honda, and while I know many are produced domestically it’s still a foreign brand. I could be way off base here but this is what I know or have seen.

    There are still quite a few cars in Japan they don’t send to the states that they should though.

    Another thing about Japan is the French company Citroën sells cars here, although I have not seen many, they do. Something that they can’t do in the states because there isn’t a market for them. Other brands such as Mercedes and BMW sell cars and are a lot more popular than Citroën but those companies can sell cars anywhere.

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