Today for the random, and the rantings, and the something or something…

Ah today’s happy drunken ranting.

In the news, Obama is still a douche, so is Congress. So they yell about how the “stimulus” was a matter of life and death and people didn’t even read the thing before they voted for it, and Obammers didn’t read it before he signed it, thanks assholes. The screwed up thing is most of the money they are stealing from people, not even born yet, hasn’t been spent, that’s kinda funny because wasn’t it an emergency? So if it was really an emergency you think they would have spent most of their stolen loot by now. No instead most of the money looks like it will be spent right around election time… I wonder why that is? Why to bribe voters that’s why, they are using money we don’t have just to bribe voters so they can maintain power, gee thanks guys… douche…

Yakuza 2 is the greatest video game of all time, yes it was able to do the impossible and beat out Snood and Tetris in my heart (but I can’t play it at work like the other two). Just one question though about it to the makers of this glorious video game, where the missions where you have to mack on girls at Hostess Bars to try to get laid (for experience points) completely necessary? Granted I know this comes from Japan, and as my friend said “what Japanese boy doesn’t want to be a Yakuza, fighting for what’s right, while picking up Hostess girls”, but really, why? While we are on the subject why the hell did I have to fight a bunch of guys in a fetish club in diapers? I almost never play video games, and this thing is more addictive than crack, I’m on vacation, as well as trying to move and I think I have spent most of my time playing this game, well that and the first one.

For people that don’t know what a Hostess is, go look it up, they can also be called Bar Girls, or Buy-me-drink Girls. You find it in Asia a lot although there might be some in other places.

I know the flap at the Miss America pageant is getting old but I thought I would comment. One why is a gay man judging a woman’s beauty pageant? Shouldn’t we have people that actually like woman do that, and if they want to get a homosexual to help out couldn’t they have found a lesbian? No they found the most annoying little troll they possible could and then people wounder why things went south. The guy made a name for himself writing a poorly written celebrity blog, the man isn’t even qualified to hold an ice cream cone, but no he is a judge in a woman’s beauty pageant, but likes guys, and spends his time doing the least important thing on the planet, giving a shit about celebrities.

Yes, the poor girl doesn’t agree with gay marriage, so what neither do most people in America, sorry it’s just the way it is. And to tell you the truth that asshole is lucky the girl wasn’t my sister, because I can tell you right now if someone ever acted like that to my sister they are only going to end up in one of two places, the hospital or the morgue. All that being said why do these things still exist? Really who really gives a shit? I only know about it because of all the BS on the news, although the headlines should have looked something like this:

“Asshole, acts like an asshole, idiots surprised”.

Why do cats try to attack moths on the other side of a screen door, do they think they are going to get through it? You have a house full of toys and are probably overfed, what are you doing?

I heard something about people complaining about a cop shooting someone in the head, because they were trying to kill him, and that’s wrong to try to kill someone. Look people, in most cases `cops are not going to shoot at you unless you shoot at them, or are trying to shoot at them. If you shoot at a cop and he doesn’t kill your stupid ass you are lucky, you deserved a bullet in the head. If you shoot at me I’m going to kill you, you shoot at a cop he might kill you. How about this assholes, stop breaking the law and you won’t have to worry about it as much. Yes sometimes cops screw up, they are people after all, and some cops are dirty, and they should be dealt with, but stop defending shitheads that try to kill cops, or anyone for that matter. Think about it this way, cops have a very dangerous job, so they might be a little jumpy, when a random traffic stop for speeding can turn into a shootout, and they do, you might be a little high strung now and then, try not to piss off cops. I’ll let Chris Rock explain it.


Why do people really care about their birthday? The only reason I remember mine sometimes is because it’s on my ID when I’m trying to buy beer. Granted I’m always up for a party, but really if it’s in the middle of the week what do you want me to do? In the real world we have jobs, you can’t get blitzed on a Tuesday night and your boss is cool with you stupid ass the next day because it was your “birthday”, well unless he was there too, so he can’t bitch very much. Really it’s just another day, your older, it happens it’s called life. I understand why you celebrate your kids birthday, but only because every year they are closer to the day you can toss them out of the house. For adults after you turn 21, what’s the point? And no, today is not my birthday, piss off.

If a tree falls in the woods, and it kills a hippie, is that friendly fire or irony?

How come pornography is legal and prostitution is not?  So it’s legal to get paid to have sex as long as it’s photographed or recorded but the second someone gets paid to have sex in a cheep hotel room by a lonely algebra teacher it’s wrong?  I can’t say I think either one is a good thing I’m just asking why one is legal and the other not.  I am also not talking about underage prostitution or human trafficking, those are two very different things, and very very wrong, I’m just talking about consenting adults buying herpes.

Every time someone brings up the fact that marijuana is “natural” I want to punch them, the bubonic plague is natural, so is herpes, just because it’s natural does not mean it’s good for you. That and lighting it on fire so you can breath in the fumes is not what I would call “natural”. Anyway, fuck you hippie.

Detroit has more registered voters than people eligible to vote, can you say voter fraud? I haven’t got the numbers on Chicago yet, but trust me it’s worse, can you say ACORN?

Just in case you didn’t know it’s OK to make fun of Obammers, really you can, and your not a racist for doing so, unless the joke is racist. We spent the last 8 years with the same “Bush is stupid” joke and now people won’t even tell any jokes, I would like to thank the comedians for killing comedy, at least when Bush was in office you told jokes, they were all the same but at least there was something, now, crickets. Come the fuck on people! There is a wealth of jokes out there try stop being so afraid of being called a racist by the assholes that call anyone they don;t like racists for disagreeing with them and start telling fucking jokes. And stop sucking Obammers dick like it’s the cure for cancer, it’s not.

I don’t have much more to say, it’s late, I have things I should be doing but are not, we still have no llamas and in reality I hate you all.  What’s the point, if there is one I’m not trying to find it…

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