Someone get that man a teleprompter!

barack obama It was amusing to watch parts of Obammers speech the other day especially the part where he didn’t realize some of the people he had hand picked to ask questions didn’t show up leaving him sounding like Ben Stein’s character in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”.  It was a nice break from all the stuttering, pauses, I don’t Knows and ums.  Those darn press conferences just don’t have teleprompters do they?  Really though if Obama going to pick out the reporters he is going to allow to ask questions and tell them before hand you would have thought he would at least be nice enough to tell the rest of the press corps not to bother wasting   the gas getting there since they wouldn’t be able to ask any questions and could just watch the thing on TV to write up their reports.  Granted the press corps is probably happy just to be in the room so they can bask in the glory of Obama the Patron Saint of Hope, Change and fiscal irresponsibility.

There is something wrong however with the fact that the president picks and chooses who who can ask questions before hand though.  I understand that the president doesn’t want to answer tough questions from journalists since he either spent his whole campaign being lobed soft balls  from a sycophantic press when he wasn’t avoiding the few tough questions that people actually bothered to ask, but he is the President now and it’s time for him to grow up.  I would really like to ask if the President hand picked who could ask questions before the press conference did he also tell the people the questions they could ask?  Or at least the types of questions they could ask?  I’m not saying he did, but it’s not like this kind of thing doesn’t happen.

I would argue that had Bush tried to pull something like this it would have caused a flood of outrage but since the hate for Bush runs so deep in so many people it’s pointless.  Obammers’ fan club wouldn’t care, he is their God King, Messiah or whatever plus BushHitler and DarthCheney are evil or something so the double standard doesn’t matter.  Some days I just don’t have the energy to talk to Obammers cult followers since it’s like mentally punching yourself in the groin and trying to listen to them is guaranteed to make both of you lose more brain cells than huffing paint thinner or getting Creutzfeldt–Jakob disease.   They can’t afford to lose much more and I don’t want to.

Anyway I’m going to give Obammers some free advice:

Mr. President and Zombie Cult Leader Obama,  next time you have a press conference here are the things you need to do to make it the best little sermon to the masses.

1.  Just give the press the questions they are going to ask then you can use the teleprompter when you answer because everyone can rehearse the whole thing beforehand.  Kind of like a press conference in the Soviet Union or North Korea.

2.  Make sure that your stooges in the press actually show up to the press conference and if they don’t don’t try to call on them.

3.  Try not to say the words “I don’t know”, the cognitive dissonance is killing your followers who believe you really do know everything.  Also I wouldn’t say “um” since while it is in some dictionaries it’s barely a real word.  Plus even when it is considered a real word it’s not a good thing.

4.  Telling the world you will be more open than the last administration while being less open then the last administration is called doublespeak.  At least half of the world will notice this.  If you stop mentioning things like this it will go much smoother for you in the coming months.

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