Election night fun and how to celebrate.

1.  Buy booze.  I’m going with beer but gin, saki or scotch is always good.

2.  Get snacks if your candidate is going to lose you might as well have some nachos and if he wins you can’t celebrate without nachos.

3.  Clean and load all of  your guns.  Some people out there are stupid and might want to riot.

4.  Remember it’s not the end of the world so try not to riot.

5.  Drink it helps the bad news and the good news go down better.

6.  In the event of a riot put a rioters head on a stake in you front yard to warn others not to come near your house.

7.  Any time 6 doesn’t work shoot people in the head.

8. Keep drinking you’ll need it…

9.  Watch Japanese game shows on TV it’s better then the BS on CNN and the punditry on almost every station.  Plus the women are more attractive.

10.  When voting always remember the Black Panthers outside the polling station are not your friends.

11.  If you start crying because your guy loses you need to get immediate mental help.  They are politicians not people never forget that.

12.  In the even of a zombie attack during the night treat all zombies like rioters.

13.  If you are a Republican poll worker in Philadelphia you will probably get thrown  out of the polling station at least once.  Just try to remember elections can only be stollen by Republicans pay no attention to the actions of ACORN or the fact that the dead vote 99% of the time for the Democrats.

14.  Remember the 2000 election crap and keep drinking it’s going to be worse.

15.  Voter intimidation only works if you are unarmed refer to number 3.

16.  The polls are notorious for being wrong, remember both Kerry and Gore where ahead in the polls. You have fun with that.

19.  Keep posting on your blog every 15 minutes like people really care about what you think.

18.  Life will go on after this… I think….




  1. Yep… got the booze AND the nachos. I’ve had a decent amount of rum and nachos (plus taquitos). Shouldn’t I be happier?

  2. Yeah you should be happy or something.

    I’m happy since my job is moving overseas and I’m going with them.

  3. I almost wish mine was.

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