Friday night ranting because I love all of you… OK I almost don’t dislike some of you.

Why would you do this?

OK so I haven’t done a drunken rant in a while and for that I am almost sorry.  I know all my fans out there are always disappointed come Sunday when they realize for some reason or another that I didn’t post some inane drunken rant and or two bit Philosophy at some point during the weekend.  I know I’m sorry that this shit is the only thing in you life that you have to look forward to during the week and I have been failing you recently.  Tonight however you can finally take the razor away from your wrist and stop crying about your dead girlfriend.

Music sucks now.  Or did it always suck and that I just found my version of suck and now wish all music sucked like I like it to suck and thats why I think it all just sucks now?

I really tried but I could find a way to use the word suck any more then that.  But really other then the bands The Spookshow and T-Virus that I just found out about there isn’t much out there.

The elections coming up and all I can say other then I voted already is good luck fuckers. If Barak Obammers wins I’m moving to Japan.  Unlike so many other people who pull this kind of shit (usually it’s to Canada) I really will.  Now mind you I’m already going to do it anyway so it really doesn’t matter who wins I’m just rubbing it in to all the people who want to go to Japan but can’t since they need to leave their mothers basement first.  Fucking American otaku…

Speaking of people who need to get out of their parents basement I wonder what the kids over at the Daily Kos are going to do if Obammers loses.  I don’t know but it’s going to hard on them.  Really hard, kind of like when they realized the only vagina they would ever see the inside of was the one they fell out of.  Like the world doesn’t have enough of them emo kids already, this might create a factory for the little annoying freaks.

Back to the elections I really stopped caring about it since I finally realized that my dream of a zombie Reagan coming back from the dead to save us all isn’t going to happen and Thomas Sowell still wont run.  Either way we are all fucked and I’m going to be getting drunk for at least the next three weeks.  I know people will ask how is this different from usual, well usually I’m sober at least twice a week.

Apparently the world has gotten so bad that even Obammers running mate is telling us all not to vote for them.  That’s got to give you some confidence to know that your own running mate doesn’t think your qualified to be president doesn’t it Obammers?

And the worst thing about it is they are still going to get at least 45% of the vote.

We might be fucked…

South Korean Movies are some of the best in the world.  Hollywood movies are some of the worst.  The only reason I can say that Hollywood is some of the worst is since I have never seen a movie from North Korea whose movies I can only assume are just like a Hollywood movies with a much smaller budget and less communist propaganda.

It’s almost Halloween one of my favorite holidays since it gives me a chance to dress up like an ass and drink to much and I don’t have to keep changing my religion every other week so I don’t have to buy people presents.

The worst part about slowly going bald is when people start noticing that you don’t shave your head just because you think it looks cool.

The best part about getting older is that you have your own place, a career and your own money don’t have to worry about all the BS you had to put up with as a kid.  The worst part about getting older is that you can now be tried as an adult.

About your dead girlfriend sorry I didn’t know it was a joke when you said you wanted to take a hit out on her but you still owe me the $5000 anyway.

I’m a nerd.  I have come to accept that fact but I’m a nerd with class.  Or at least I’m a nerd with a large amount of guns, booze, my own place and regular bathing habits.

My mother told me I would never amount to anything and I told her that wasn’t true.  So far we have both been wrong…

A woman’s body can be one of the most beautiful things you could ever see.  It can also be the worst thing depending on who you looking at…

Fishing can be one of the greatest things in the world to do yet the second it’s put on television it’s the most boring thing in the world.  Football is the opposite but that’s cause I’m lazy.

The real reason your parents told you that you where special was because there wasn’t any compliment they could give you that wasn’t a lie.

Peace in the Middle East is possible it really is.  The real problem is the amount of nuclear warheads you have to use to get there.

Speaking of the Middle East other then oil what have they really contributed to civilization lately?

I don’t care how much you like anime an adult male should never dress up like Sailor Moon at a convention.  Or ever for that matter.  Really what the hell is wrong with you people you are adults and it’s not Halloween?  With the same idea in mind if you are a girl and are going to dress up like Princess Leia try to spend at least some time at the gym please…

I know what I want for Christmas

I know what I want for Christmas

Some days I don’t know why I started this blog and then someone gets angry with me over something I wrote and I remember.  Thanks angry people I do it all for you.

60% of what I do is out of boredom the rest is out of spite but it all ends up the same anyway.

There should be a test you have to pass before you are allowed to have children.  knowing your partners full name and birthday should be the first question and if you get it wrong you should fail instantly.

OK this one might not be as funny as some of the others but it’s not like you are paying for this shit…


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