looks like the cold war is heating up again.

Good news everybody! I think I finally can prove the fact I am not really just a half insane paranoid. OK I probably am both of those thing, but I think I can say that all the times I said that half the world either hadn’t noticed or doesn’t want to admit that the “Cold War” is over – and I am not even talking about your college professors this time – I might be right.

Yeah we have finally got back to the good old days where Russia is a belligerent totalitarian country bent on domination and subjugation of their neighbors, if not everyone else. So here is how I see it South Ossetia is a part of the country of Georgia (not the crappy piece of shit state of Georgia). So they Declare independence and Russia gives them Russian citizenship even though they aren’t a part of Russia. That doesn’t sound right does it? Sounds like Russia is using a local separatist movement to take over part of a country they once enslaved while known as the Soviet Union. You know the U.S.S.R. the country that gives all your college professors and Obammers’ friends hard-ons, that U.S.S.R.? Anyhoo since Russia is now a free and fun loving country – unless you are a journalist that writes something the government doesn’t like and who’s leadership is made up of ex KGB agents – there isn’t anything to worry about, right? A country that was once a world power but is nothing more then a shell of their former selves who would have no reason to try to reclaim their old place in the world, right?

Let me see, Russia doesn’t like countries they used to control hosting U.S. missile shields or joining NATO, or having opinions they didn’t tell them to have because they think it is for use against them not say the Iranians you know the whack jobs from Persia that keep threatening to “wipe countries off the map” while pumping money into nuclear and military research weapons and terrorist organizations? No it’s against Russia, no why would it be against them unless they are trying to start attacking their neighboring countries? Well up until last week I didn’t think they would, but now I’m not so sure….

Yes Russia the guys who have 30% of their government still controlled by the communist party and about 60% controlled by people who used to be a part of the party and or the KGB. Interestingly enough I think the mob also controls about 50-70% of the country as well (yes it does add up to more the 100% if you are stupid and don’t know that the other 30 and 60 are parts of the last number).

Yeah I think this is going to be bad…

The situation between South Ossetia and Georgia need international mediation, what it doesn’t need is for another country to declare people from another country their own citizens (think Hitler and Czechoslovakia) then rolling in a column of tanks. Wow history really does repeat itself! Look Georgia could have handled the situation better however it’s kind of hard to blame them when you have a large neighboring country helping to prop up a local separatist movement in your country while being a general belligerent to any country that has a boarder any place close to them. That’s kind of how wars start and you wouldn’t want that to happen, right?

Look I don’t want the situation to escalate but I do have to support Georgia on this one, hell if all the old Soviet bloc countries got together and nuked Moscow for the over a half a century of oppression they got from Russia I would have a hard time disagreeing with it. So lets just say I might not be an unbiased person in this debate. Russia still thinks all their old slave holdings have to listen to them and agree to anything they say. I think parts of the Russian government really misses the Cold War and wants to bring it back so it looks like their country still matters. Sorry Russia but other then the oil wealth you really don’t. How about this for some levity. Is it OK for Russia to do what they do in Chechnya – a part of Russia so they claim – that has a large separatist/independence movement they might not want to get angry at what Georgia is doing in South Ossetia.

Wait last time oil prices where really high and Russia was rolling in the oil money what did they do? Oh I remember they invaded Afghanistan, that’s what they did. So if history is any guide in 15 years South Ossetia will be an oppressive poverty stricken failed state run by stone age religious whack jobs and opium growing warlords. But what would I know I still think the nightly news and the History Channel are subsidiaries of Comedy Central ever since the day I started laughing out of some sort of strange form of Stockholm Syndrome. I am afraid that if I stop laughing at the world I might find out that the planet isn’t one giant practical joke by a devious diety with a sick sense of humor, like your old fraternity brother that used to put plastic wrap over the toilet and leave dead hookers under your bed. Don’t judge me we all have our delusional lies we tell ourselves so we don’t cry ourselves to sleep every night while dreaming of the sweet release of an eternity in a cold and shallow grave. This delusion is mine so piss off ya tossers!

OK back to the war at hand, yes I know the world is filled with them but if you think really hard you might be able to figure out the one we are talking about here. What is my point? My point is that just because your little hero Stalin was born in Georgia does not mean you need try and get it back. Stalin was a raging douche on the Hitlerian scale so why don’t you knock the crap off and stop trying to bring back the Iron Curtain the thing was full of rust anyway.

It’s not all bad news my copy of Red Dawn is finally going to relevant again.



  1. Something I read compared this to the annexing of Sudetenland… doesn’t seem too far off.

  2. Yeah that was part of Czechoslovakia. It is basically the same situation.

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