Saturday night drunken wisdom.

Never drink Habusaki. Really don’t, it’s not worth it. It might sound like a good idea when you are a bit plowed “Oh I iz in Japan and theyz gots a bottle of booze with a poisonous snake in it I think I iz gonna try to act like a man and have some”. Bad Idea. It has nothing to do with the snake and it’s venom. It’s the fact that it tastes horrible. It’s like the viscose oily Victory Gin in the book 1984 without the gin part. If you want to know what it’s like try this, take one ounce of very cheep vodka, two ounces of really cheep saki, one teaspoon of used motor oil, and a splash of vermouth. Mix well and consume. It’s what you drink when you have given up on life but too pussy to shoot yourself in the head.

I feel sorry for any woman that would date you. OK it’s a joke it’s her fault she has no standards.

The Internets is nothing but pornography and hate crimes. God bless the Internets…

One of the best restaurants I have ever been to served dog meat. It’s good really so stop whining about it.

In the wild rats are amazingly clean animals it’s only the ones that live around people that are dirty and filled with disease. Think about it.

The real reason militant feminists hate men is that they haven’t figured out that they might want to shave a little if they want to get a date.

I think most people have kids just to prove to everyone else that they can get laid.

Marriage is for people that either don’t want to die alone or still think love really does exist.

The only reason I am nicer to people when I am drunk is because I am to lazy to find a place to hid the body.

Your mommy lied to you when she told you you where special. You’re not, in fact you probably suck.

They say there is nothing wrong with talking to yourself, you are only crazy if you answer back. That’s bullshit. One what is the point of talking to yourself if you won’t talk back. Two it’s probably a better conversation then what you are going to get from talking to other people, and three how big of a loser do you have to be if you won’t even talk to you?

There are millions of children on this planet suffering so do everything you can to help them. Just remember that they will grow up and be the next generation of people to cause all the pain an suffering in the world. Makes you feel good when you help doesn’t it?

Nature is a wonderful thing until you realize it’s filled with parasites, diseases and other things that will kill you. Come to think about it fuck nature!

War is never the answer except when it is the answer.

If Bob Dylan was such a good musician why does it take someone else to make his songs sound good?

The only reason the Grateful Dead sound good is because you are so stoned you don’t know your own name. Really try this listen to the shit when your sober and tell me they don’t suck.

Jimmy Carter got elected for the sole purpose of proving to the world that Nixon wasn’t that bad yet some people couldn’t take the hint.

How come when a white guy doesn’t vote for Obama he is a racist but when 90% of blacks vote for him they aren’t?

Why do people complain about people smoking in bars? Really think about it you go there to get drunk and go home with someone you don’t know, but smoking is the health risk you bitch about. “Well my kidneys are dead from alcohol abuse and hepatitis but thank god I never started smoking!”

Communism is the answer to the question “can life suck more?”

Islam and Scientology are both insane cults the difference is that Scientology kills less people.

In the debate about abortion every one talks about a woman’s right to chose if she is going to have a kid or not but forgets to ask if she had the choice to spread her legs or not.

Statistically you are more likely to get molested by a teacher then a priest, it’s true have fun sending little Johnny or Lucy off to the first day of school.

50% of children can’t preform in school up to their grade level, so why do I want to give the teachers more money? Any place else in the world that is a reason to get fired not a pay raise.



  1. I think most people have kids just to prove to everyone else that they can get laid. <—- that is the funniest shit I have read in quite a while beer even came out of my nose thanks fucker

  2. You iz welcome, that is why I am here to destroy your computer with beer shots from the nose.

  3. on the last statement. The reason to pay teachers more is to encourage better people to become teachers instead of going into something more lucrative. I’m all for paying teachers more, but I’m also for raising the standards at the same time. If more pay is involved, higher standards should be involved as well to weed out those who have played a part in not helping the students learn at grade level.
    Yup, pay them more, but raise the standards so the lousy ones are kicked out in favor of better ones who will be attracted to the better pay. I think that would do much more to improve education than any other action we could take.

  4. That’s how I feel about it, it’s I just don’t want to pay them more until the standards are improved. I would prefer that each teacher was paid according to their skills not just the years of service. You can pay the good teachers more on an individual basis and either fire the crap ones or not give them a raise until they prove the deserve it.

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