Pointless crap and ranting of the drunk.

pointless crap If cigarettes are so bad for you why do they come in a box? Really many good things come in boxes, presents from Grandma, Beer, Condoms, Soap, my new air conditioner, mail order brides. really you would think they would come in something else if it was bad for you….

If we are not supposed to eat meat why did god make cat taste so good with bok choy, baby corn and Soy Sauce?

If hippies are supposed to live why can’t they feed themselves without the government stealing my money to do it.

If having sex with a nine year old girl is wrong why is Muhammad a prophet?

If I truly have nothing to say but have to say it anyway am I finally a real blogger?

Is it wrong to bring Tabasco and barbecue sauce onto airplanes just in case we crash in the Andes, and if we do crash in the Andes does the fat kid really think he is going to be able to outrun me?

Why do emo kids always get halfway there but never finish the job, really no one can fuck up a suicide that badly without trying?

Then the Dead Kennedys wrote the song “Kinky Sex Makes The World Go Round” was it a joke or am I missing out on something?

Do you think The Exploited would have written the song “Punks Not Dead” if they had known about Green Day?

If Obama is really Jesus can I be Hindu?

If it is my body why can’t I sell my organs, I own them right?

Does every stripper have daddy issues or just the ones I killed last week?

If it’s the Religion of Peace why does shit keep blowing up?

Is the fact that the Grateful Dead smoked pot enough of a reason to keep it illegal?

If AIDS is incurable why would you have sex with someone that has it?

If Bob Ross was still alive would his trees still be happy, or would he just kick your ass?

If Communism was such a good Idea why hasn’t it worked? Hell some guy made millions off a pet rock but you fuckers can barely keep an economy functioning without murdering 200 million people.

If rap had something to say don’t you think it would have done so by now?

If Islam is the One True Religion would Allah really need to threaten you with death to convert?

If millions of unwanted dogs are put to death in this country every year why is it wrong use one to make lasagna?

If God’s a woman and we all know Satan is, are they fighting over a man or a pair of shoes?

After 75 years of bad harvests maybe you just suck?

Why isn’t killing hippies legal It’s not like they count as people?

If E. M. Hemingway, W. L. S. Churchill, U. S. Grant where drunks while A. Hitler, Ayatollah Khomeini, and Osama Bin Laden don’t drink at all, what does that say about sober people?

If you could reach the end of the Internets does that mean you ran out of fresh porn?

Why do I get a ton of hits on an article I wrote that was nothing but the word fuck. but when I write something serious about the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre I get nothing?

UPDATE:  During the Olympics I did geta lot of hits on Tiananmen Square but only at that point did it look like peole cared and not on the anaversary.



  1. Is it somehow scarier that I’ve thought of at least some of these things while sober?

    And should I be worried that the owner of the local Chinese restaurant has cages of chickens and dogs in his garage, but no cows?

  2. Worried? Hell no that’s how you know the food is going to be fresh. Once you realize how good it tastes you stop caring that Lassie ain’t going to get to save Timmy this time! Just go to a live food market in Hong Kong that’s fun….

  3. you are one god damm funny son of a bitch look’s like you kept the conversation we were having last night going in your head I say kill em’ all

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