How to make your own Japanese drama (it also works on Anime that do not involve robots)

japanese dramaFor anyone who wants to know the rules to making a Japanese drama here they are.

Rule 1: If it is set in high school make sure one of the lead romantic characters is rich while the other poor and find some excuse why the two families have a bad history.
If not set in a high school (or sometimes in one) Make sure that the two romantic leads are at least 7-15 years apart in age. If it is the man that is older never bother to make this an issue if it the woman is make it an issue.

Rule 2: There have to be at least 100 awkward moments between the two lovers in every episode.

Rule 3: There must always be at least one scene where the girl makes the guy lunch but for some reason he can’t eat it causing some kind of problem emotional or otherwise.

Rule 4: More awkward love scenes

Rule 5: Someone must always have to chase after their love who is on a bus, train or in a car to try to profess their love but not be able to do it. They must fall at least once.

Rule 6: Always find some excuse to have falling cherry blossoms like it happens every day in Japan (it doesn’t).

Rule 7: Awkward love scene in love motel, or school library.

Rule 8: Have secondary character(s) create some evil plan to break up couple. It should work, no matter how silly.

Rule 9: It must rain at least twice for an hour long show and once for a half hour.

Rule 10: Any time the characters try to hold hands it must be awkward and creepy if possible.

Rule 11: Always have an episode where one of the main characters has to faint in strange places due to illness emotional distress, or stress. Use this as an excuse for the two to get back together, either way you must have at least two episodes where someone has to go to the hospital.

Rule 12: All drama must be 10 episodes for hour long shows with 1 to 2 specials, or in the case of a half hour show 13 episodes, with sometimes a random special.

Rule 13: If the main characters get back to together in the final episode they must get immediately married, if it is before that they can wait a bit.

Rule 14: The main female must at some point in the series dress in a Yukata, usually for some Bon-odori festival or fireworks.

Rule 15: The father must always disapprove of his daughters love interest. He must also have about 100 different stern looks at his disposal.

Rule 16: There must be at least 10 English words in each episode and have at least 3 full English sentences per season. They don’t have to be relevant to the plot.

Rule 17: More awkward love scenes.

Rule 18: Someone must get incredibly drunk in every other episode.

Rule 19: There must always be a trip to the beach or a hot spring.

Rule 20: Unless it is absolutely necessary to the plot under no circumstances can anyone have a loan out from a real bank, all loans must come from Yakuza loan sharks. Bonus points if the collection guys are an old and hardened man who is saddened by how his life turned out and a young new recruit who while acts tough is really a nice and sensitive guy.

Rule 21: More awkward love scenes and heavy drinking.

Rule 22: Every other characters must smoke like a chimney.

Rule23: Someone must always have to leave for America either on business or for school.

Rule24: Parents always have to play good cop, bad cop. Or they should have died when one of the main characters was still underage forcing them to take care of their even younger siblings

Rule 25: Whenever possible make sure one of the love interests is dying from something.

Rule 26: All woman must at least 3 times a season wear a cross around her neck, even while going to a Shinto or Buddhist shrine.

Rule 27: Someone must sit on a park bench every episode, extra points if they pass out on one drunk.

Rule 28: There must always be a quirky but helpful old person, extra points if it is a very short old lady that likes to drink.

Rule 29: More awkward.

Rule 30: If the setting is anywhere near Tokyo there must be at least one scene in Shibuya. Bonus points if you can find an excuse to have them travel to Tokyo just for this scene.

Rule 31: When at all possible there must be a scene where a girl goes shopping and tries on 50 different outfits.

Rule 32: All t-shirts must have either English writing (does not have to make sense it’s better if it doesn’t) or be from a Japanese or American sports team.

Rule 33: At least once an episode someone’s cell phone has to run out of batteries or lose signal at the worst time.

Rule 34: Someone always has to buy a beer or coffee out of a vending machine every episode.

Rule 35: Someone always has to have a friend that was either in or is still in a motorcycle gang.

Rule 36: Try to make at least one episode so depressing it makes the audience want to kill them self, unless it is more of a comedy then just have at least one person’s good friend die.

Rule 37: In every episode you must use the the phrase “can you pass the soy sauce” at least once.

Rule 38: If set in Tokyo have at least one person do something to force them to move back to the country side, or at least try to.

Rule 39: If it is a high school drama, one student has to have sex with a teacher at least once. Bonus points if they are secretly dating or for pregnancy.

Rule 40: One of the secondary female characters must spend the entire series in unrequited love with the male lead.

Rule 41: When at all possible the Female lead must have been in a B-list J-pop group or at least have one single out. Bonus points if she sings the opening or closing theme song.

Rule 42: more drinking and awkward.

Rule 43: If it is a high school drama one girl must be a really popular rich girl with an absentee father and a bitchy mother that is a complete bitch that runs the school. Bonus points if she later has to recant her bitchiness and becomes friends with the female lead.  I think I used the word bitch one to many times there.

Rule 44: At least on male has to cry during the series while confessing some dark and horrible secret. Bonus points if someone ended up dead or in a wheelchair.

Rule 45: Any show where a girl gets pregnant and someone (usually her parents) tell her to have an abortion she will decide to keep the baby then have a miscarriage, or at least a very difficult pregnancy (see Rule 11).

Rule 46: Every other show must have an English title.

Rule 47: The main male lead’s little sister if he has one is always making him dinner.

Rule 48: More booze and awkward looks.

Rule 49: Try to make everything as depressing as possible till the last minute. Bonus points for using the ending credits on the last show to finally fix everything.

Rule 50: Have Japanese people in the show.

If you want to know how to make a Japanese game show just hook your friend’s nipples up to a car battery and ask him questions like any other quiz show.

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3 Comments

  1. You forgot the new trends in drama T_T.
    Last friend/hokaben >>> DV is the “in” thing this year in japan. And Ueto aya plays the lawyer like she played the volley ball player (but heck I’d still tap that).
    You forgot that Johnny Kitagawa owns japan more than any one else.
    You forgot how your two male lead must give each other plenty of eyefucking and sexual tension and what not (nobuta/SP/Rookies…..)
    And we miss the Alpha female who deep down is not happy coz she should be having babies and going to clinics to get some ass
    You frogot too many things T_T

    Nice job though.

  2. Yeah after 50 I just kinda gave up.

  3. Loll.
    This made me laugh. a lot.


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