New Staff Writer

So I recieved a call last night from Letters to a Dying Dream, to ask if I would submit articles to their new blog. I was told that it is really a space to rant and discuss a barrage of things, but politics was where they hoped for this to go. I was a little reluctant, at first to say the least. I can’t really bring myself to write for my own blog, which out of respect, I will not plug here. I have been getting better at it though, and I have a couple of posts laying around on a computer somewhere that need to be uploaded, so I figured, “what the hell, let’s give this a shot.”

As I sat here, thinking about the state of politics in this election year, I am reminded about just how bad of a situation we are in. It sorta reminds me of the torture scene in Reservoir Dogs, Jokers to the left of me, clowns to the right. The only difference is that, I would much rather prefer to have my ear cut off, be doused in gasoline, and set on fire. Really, the big news isn’t that the G.O.P. has a candidate that for all intents and purposes is Democrat Light or for you tech savvy people, Democrat 2.0. Nor is it the fact that the Dems are in such a state of disarray they can’t even agree on a candidate. The big story in this election year, is what the outcome will be when any of these sorry excuses for egg-sperm fertilization get elected!

Outcome 1 -> McCain Wins

Riots in the streets because yet another rich white man beats the poor black man back into the gutters. Cities across the country are set into martial law, looters take everything, rape and pillage white suburbia. N.O.W. whiners refuses to give head to their husbands because it’s degrading and we still don’t have a woman president

Outcome 2 -> Clinton Wins

See outcome 1 + change man to woman – N.O.W. whiners still don’t give their husbands head because they have risen above that time in our history. Millions of women across the country turn lesbian, making men slaves to their every whim. Black men refuse to be enslaved yet again or still…or where ever we are in history at this point, get hopped up on crack killing every rich white woman they see, in turn killing all the chances for men to finally catch a glimpse at hot lesbians using female representations of penises (aka strap-ons) to fuck each other in places they told their husbands for centuries was off limits.

Outcome 3 -> Obama wins

Black people are happy, communists are happy, men still get hosed on the oral sex bit, and some neo-nazi-white-sheet-wearing-should’a-been-a-vaginal-blister pops the commie for all the wrong reasons, making his term one of the shortest in American history, black people get pissed and see above.

Well, how do we combat this? I know that’s the question on your lips. If by chance it isn’t, and you’re sitting there saying, wow, this guy doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about, we don’t need you in the revolution. But if it is the question you are asking, we had one chance to prevent this new Mad Max world, and her name was Connie Rice. Black and a woman! And we blew it, and now we’re not getting blown.

Fuck! I hate you all,

-D

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