Quote Of The Day

We have the greatest men and women fighting in our armed services and they should not be subject by playing spread the wealth by war.

- Sonnie Johnson

 

 

FYI, trying to transcribe a quote from a speech is annoying vice the ease of copy/paste.

People Want Higher Taxes. For You, Not them.

So the other day* Obama claimed the other day the 80% of America wanted higher taxes?  Um, right.  OK lets pretend this is true.  How many of those people want higher taxes for themselves?  I’m going to go with a lot less than 80%, there are people out there that want higher taxes but for other people or on things they don’t use but I doubt anywhere close to 80% that Obama claims want higher taxes for themselves (maybe 3%).  It’s always easy to get support for taxing the crap out of someone else, the rich (whatever someone’s personal idea of who is rich), corporations and smokers are always easy targets but tell people that you are going to make say the 50% of the public that doesn’t pay income tax or try to tax a union members benefits package and suddenly the idea of taxes is a horrible thing and you are a horrible person for mentioning it.  See almost no one wants to pay higher taxes since everyone wants to keep as much of their money as they can but there are a lot of people out there that have no problem with making other people pay higher taxes because really “fuck them I want my benefits but don’t really want to pay for it”.  See people look at all the crap the government gives away and say “Hey free shit gimme, gimme, gimme” and either don’t know that nothing is or can be free or frankly don’t care because they honestly believe they shouldn’t have to work for or take care of themselves, and that’s just sad.  They say the rich are greedy and that might be true but people are greedy when they’re poor too so it’s really just hypocrisy and class warfare rather than a real statement of some great truth.  You want truth.  People can be greedy. there is your truth.  No qualifiers just that one sentence.  People can also be nice, heroic, cowardly, deceitful, attractive, ugly, loving, hateful and short.  Once again it’s truth because people can be all of those and some people can be many of those together since people can be contradictory.  It’s not about how much money you have that makes you something it’s about what you do with your life.  Yes life can be easier if you have money but even money doesn’t always make life easy but that is another rant.

There are a lot of people out there that think the government is a charity organization and expect people (usually other people) to pay for that.  That’s wrong the government isn’t a charity organization and forcing other people to pay for you pet projects or your causes isn’t charity.  What people who want higher taxes really want is to redistribute other people wealth, and I really do mean other people’s since if they really wanted more money to go to this or that they could take out their checkbook and hold off on that new Blu-Ray player or iPad.   But no we don’t want that we want other people to pay, hell a lot of people as I already said don’t even want to pay for their own stuff and want to make other do it, that’s why you have people calling cell phones, vacations and internet access civil rights that the government should pay for (or in other words taxes payers).

 

I know Obama once said he actually believes his own bullshit but he doesn’t really believe this “80% of people want higher taxes” bullshit does he?  I might buy it if he had said 45% of the US populations want’s higher taxes and 97% of those people want higher taxes for other people.  Even if somehow this 80% number was true what are the reasons for this number?  Remember kids statistics can lie if you don’t know the reason(s) behind the numbers.

 

I’ll say it like this if you want higher taxes for other people but not yourself, fuck you.  If you want higher taxes for other people and don’t pay income tax at all, fuck yourself twice.

 

 

*FYI usually when I say “the other day” it means anywhere from a week to 3 years ago just in case anyone wanted to complain this was from a couple of months ago.  That and I started this rant then but didn’t get back to it till now.

 

 

 

I hate it here…

Oh My God Susan Feinberg Is Angry With You For Doing Something That Has Nothing To Do With Something Else, Run For The Hills!!!! Wait… Who The Hell Is Susan And Why Should I care?

 

 

“Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI), a leading advocate of shrinking entitlement spending and the architect of the plan to privatize Medicare, spent Wednesday evening sipping $350 wine with two like-minded conservative economists at the swanky Capitol Hill eatery Bistro Bis.” 

 

Um, so someone went to dinner with some other people he knows.  This is news because it’s not like this doesn’t happen all the fucking time or anything so why is this news?

 

“Susan Feinberg, an associate business professor at Rutgers, was at Bistro Bis celebrating her birthday with her husband that night. When she saw the label on the bottle of Jayer-Gilles 2004 Echezeaux Grand Cru Ryan’s table had ordered, she quickly looked it up on the wine list and saw that it sold for an eye-popping $350, the most expensive wine in the house along with one other with the same pricetag.”

 

So some people who have money got something expensive at a restaurant?  Still why is this news?

 

“Feinberg, an economist by training, was even more appalled when the table ordered a second bottle. She quickly did the math and figured out that the $700 in wine the trio consumed over the course of 90 minutes amounted to more than the entire weekly income of a couple making minimum wage.

 

“We were just stunned,” said Feinberg, who e-mailed TPM about her encounter later the same evening. “I was an economist so I started doing the envelope calculations and quickly figured out that those two bottles of wine was more than two-income working family making minimum wage earned in a week.”

Oh my god rich people ordering something that poor people can’t afford!!!  Wait still why is that news?

 

“She was outraged that Ryan was consuming hundreds of dollars in wine while Congress was in the midst of intense debates over whether to cut seniors’ safety net, and she didn’t know whether Ryan or his companions was going to pay for the wine and whether the two men were lobbyists. She snapped a few shots with her cell phone to record the wine purchase.”

 

Oh, I know because someone has a political agenda that’s why.   My question was if Mrs.  Feinberg is so annoyed by rich people spending money at an expensive restaurant why the hell was she at the same place?  I bet even if she didn’t get that expensive bottle of wine her meal was a lot more than a person making minimum wage could afford for a night out.    OK leaving all that aside for the moment was the meal paid for by the taxpayers?  Wait, no it wasn’t so why should you care?  Now don’t give me the bullshit about since he is in Congress he gets paid by the taxpayers so it is the public’s money because it isn’t and while I do think they get paid too much once we give it to them it’s theirs to do with as they like.  Even pay too much for booze, something Paul Ryan even admitted was too expensive and since he didn’t know the price at the time would not have done had he known.  Yeah, like you’ve never done that.

 

Now back to Mrs. Feinberg.  You are an economics professor and angry about people who have money spending it during a recession, are you insane?  I might not be some obnoxious economics professor (full disclosure; I studied music before I switched to history and political science) but last time I checked in the type of economy we have that people spending money helps the economy rather than hurts it and in a recession/depression/whatever the fuck this is most people are not spending enough money to get us out of this shit so every little bit helps.  I can honestly say that you should never take an economics class (or probably any class) with Mrs. Feinberg.

 

I understand the lobbyist thing but let’s not get into a selective outrage debate since its par for the course in D.C. and it’s not like any side is less guilty. Plus they weren’t lobbyist and Mrs. Feinberg didn’t know who they were she just assumed they were lobbyists (as in she decided to get angry with people she knew nothing about in a situation she knew nothing about AKA she fucked up).  So what is the real issue here?  The real issue is that “she was outraged that Ryan was consuming hundreds of dollars in wine while Congress was in the midst of intense debates over whether to cut seniors’ safety net”.  Let me explain something to you.  A person, with money, buying expensive hooch (while silly) has nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing with the fact that the U.S. government is fucking broke and bleeding money every fucking second and some people in the government are trying to find way to spend less money the government doesn’t have.  Remember Mrs. Feinberg is an economics professor, you know the people who should know that if you don’t have any money and if you are in trillions of dollars of debt and have no way of paying it off you might want to look at your finances and start cutting your expenses.  Let me explain some things to you.  There is nothing, and I mean nothing in the Constitution that requires or ever pretends to suggest the government provide anyone with medical care or a retirement fund.  Hell half of the Constitution is telling the government what it can’t do.  So when the government spends too much money and is broke (like now)  we can spend what money we have on the things specifically mentioned in the Constitution (such as national defense) and start spending less money on things not mentioned (and depending on your viewpoint on the subject possibly unconstitutional) such as Social Security (the world’s only legal ponzi scheme) and Medicare/Medicaid or we can let the government dig an even deeper hole until even Greece and Zimbabwe are laughing at us.  Yes we can raise taxes but there is a thing you might have heard about called diminishing returns, the Laffer curve, and the fact that only 50% of the public is required to pay income tax.  As an economics professor Mrs. Feinberg should have heard all of this someplace.  She should also have heard of Keynesian economics something from this guy John Maynard Keynes all the liberals love but don’t understand what he really meant.  Keynes believed to get out of a depression you did need government intervention and deficit spending however the deficit spending was supposed to be short term and not continuous as how government currently works and during this period it was supposed to be augmented with tax cuts so people had more money to spend in order to jumpstart the economy.  Currently the people who use the Keynes model go for tax increases and continuous deficit spending so are therefore bastardizing Keynesian economics into something Keynes never intended and – while I have no proof of this since we were never friends and he’s dead – would reject as stupid and dangerous.  As an economics professor Mrs. Feinberg should know all of this.  Apparently she doesn’t, so I say again never take a class she teaches.

 

Let’s keep going with this evening out…

 

“After ending their meal and paying the check, Feinberg decided to give Ryan a piece of her mind. She approached the table and asked Ryan “how he could live with himself” sipping expensive wine while advocating for cuts to programs for seniors and the poor. Some verbal jousting between Feinberg and the other two men ensued. One of the two men said he had ordered the wine, was drinking it and paying for it. In hearing how much the wine cost, Ryan said only: “Is that how much it was?”

 

I hate it when people I don’t know feel the need to preach to me in public, or to put it another way if, I am having dinner/playing darts/drinking with friends/doing anything and I am not bothering you (as in talking to you or actually doing something to you) I hate it when people feel the need to get in my face and start lecturing me on anything.  I don’t do it to other people because it’s rude.  Hell, I have a friend and half of what we do is get into political debates (or well, we will debate anything but usually politics, comic books or anime, we are nerds)  and if someone butts in no matter what side they are for one of us will play devil’s and we will both go after them simply because you have annoyed us buy butting in so we will go after you till you leave us alone.  We don’t always do this, if the person butts in but has something relevant to say, isn’t an ass about it and has something to add to the conversation we will let them into the debate and new friends can be made.  However attacking people you don’t know (yes Mr. Ryan is a public figure but the other people were not and you don’t know him you know of him, there is a difference) and don’t know you, and yes in this situation it was an attack you are just being rude and annoying.  I don’t confront celebrities on the street to tell them I thought their last movie/album sucked and if I saw a politician on the street or in a restaurant I didn’t like I would let them eat their fucking dinner since if they don’t agree with me yelling at them only makes my side of the argument look bad.  Even if I liked the guy I probably wouldn’t even bother talking to them because maybe they just want to be left alone with some friends and relax.  Now if the guy sat down at the bar next to me I might talk to them but talking (not attacking) someone sitting next to you at a bar is common and how friends are made even with people you don’t always agree with.  Harassing people eating dinner or any meal for that matter is one of the rudest and most annoying things you can do right after lighting someone on fire above bringing a crying baby into a movie theater.

 

More bullshit from Mrs. Feinberg…

 

“It was my birthday, and I’d had half a bottle of great wine with dinner,” she wrote in an e-mail to TPM. “I wasn’t drunk, but I was certainly emboldened to speak my mind.”

 

OK, I will admit half a bottle of wine doesn’t get me drunk but I have a high tolerance so neither does a six pack, but after a six pack I’m never “emboldened to speak my mind” to random strangers because I don’t like their view on economic policy while they are having dinner.  If she wasn’t drunk she was at least buzzed enough to irritate people but even if she wasn’t drunk or the booze had no effect on her it still doesn’t excuse her behavior.  Hell if she was drunk that still doesn’t excuse her behavior.  I never try to excuse my behavior when I’m drunk by saying I was drunk.  I admit that while I might have been drunk I should not have done/said what I did and apologize for it.  Would I have done/said the same thing sober?  No, no I would not have done (fill in the blank) but being drunk does not excuse my behavior it just might help explain why I was an asshole but I was still an asshole and for that I would still have to make amends.  What she should have said was “I saw a politician I don’t agree with eating dinner so I started a fight because I’m a bitch and have poor self control”.  Did she? No, instead she got angry that they were annoyed that she was being a bitch and accused them of being “confrontational”.

 

Oh boo fucking hoo!  Really, are you serious?  You accost me anywhere I’m going to get “confrontational” with you.  You’re verbally attacking someone trying to eat dinner (something I would call “confrontational”) what the hell do you expect?  To me bothering people while they’re eating is right up there with telemarketing at midnight in the T. Yamamoto book of rude things to do to people.  You just don’t do it and if you absolutely have to do it you apologize about a million times while doing it.  If I am at a store buying a CD and you – someone I don’t know – decide to start telling me how much you hate that band and how much I should like that band and how there is something wrong with me for liking it I’m going to tell you to “fuck off” and if I am eating dinner and you walk up to my table I’m going to tell you to “fuck off”  and if you don’t because you are so important and what you believe is so important (Mrs. Feinberg) that you can’t just walk the hell away and leave people alone I’m going to get “confrontational” in the hope you will leave so I can get back to living my life without your annoying bullshit.  This is the kind of person that would walk up to a person and punch them in the face and then get angry that the person fought back.  Oh, right it’s OK when you do it I understand. Wait no, no I don’t fuck you.  If you start a fight don’t cry about it when people fight back.    I hate hypocrites but the worst kind are the ones that want you to feel sorry for them when they pull their bullshit.

 

Mrs. Feinberg works at Rutgers University as an economics professor.  Under no circumstances should you attend Rutgers if Mrs. Feinberg even remotely represents the professors there and you sure as hell shouldn’t go there for economics.

 

 

 

 

I hate it here…

 

 

Short Stories: I Rememeber.

The beauty of youth is that they are often un-jaded by the world not having been in it long enough to watch their hopes die with each passing day for a thousand years.  In their naiveté they have yet to learn the truth of the world.  Any side can claim them and they will march like lemmings to the slaughter for any cause have set their fancy.  The old know this and can use it for good or evil.  Cannon fodder for ideology they have yet to understand how to question.  They are destruction and innocence at the same time as the young mind can be dangerous in the wrong hands.  Well, not even the wrong hands it can be a time bomb for anyone no matter how good their intentions may be.  When you have yet to learn how to question often you don’t.  Cannon is all they know and in almost a brainwashed state they run towards the nirvana their masters have told them of.  It is fire, and fire cannot always be contained.  When you were an old man, remember the time you met the young maiden and she spoke to you of higher things.  When you watched her eyes and knew she had yet to truly understand the meaning behind her words, as we all have growing up.   We saw the things in life that struck cords within our hearts but she rallies to a banner, a cause!  Heroic poetry, the muse of the majestic but also of the low and vile things are in her words.  The things we run from in our age or use for our own ends.  The young are cannon fodder for our cause and the innocent we use as our mouths.  The people looking for power understand this, we love it we need it to gain our titles and riches.  I walked away.  I couldn’t even look myself in the eyes anymore.  I lead countless men to the slaughter under the banners I waved.  My hands can be cleaned of blood but my soul is caked in it.  Ground in so deep that bleach could never remove the stains on my heart and mind.  I broke and I walked away to make a hermit of myself as if I was some monk cloistering himself in his hilltop monastery to gain enlightenment.  Ha, I ran away!  I was dead inside and now some little girl is crying with those eyes I have seen a thousand times for help.  Men have died for centuries over a young girl’s cries and now knowing what I do I’m going to walk back into hell because of some pitiful creature who still believes?  Old men used by even older tricks.

I remember the stories of how my father died…

He sat looking up at the gun, the cold wind barely registering as it whipped through his tattered clothes.  “Here’s how I die…” he thought, “funny…”, it really almost was, kneeling down in the mud as the first of the winters snow came down.  Nothing else left to do but to be pushed into an open pit that would soon be the final resting place for his men.  “They wanted us to live like dogs, so killing us like them only made sense”.  Paraded in from of the helpless masses as a warning to others that might get unwanted ideas in their heads.  Rebellion against tyranny might sound like a glorious thing, but that was from the mouths of poets that either had long since forgotten the pain and despair of the struggle or those whom never saw it.  “Excuse me good sir” he said his speech in a manner of extreme politeness, more a mockery of the concept, dripping with the sarcastic flair only the jester could pull off at the gallows.  “I believe you forgot to take the safety off, I would hate to think you’d embarrass yourself at my execution sergeant, I don’t know how I could ever live with myself if you did”.  The blow from the sergeant was swift.  He could feel bones cracking as he hit the muddy ground.  It didn’t matter anymore, after the beatings they had received for the last month the pain didn’t mean anything, it was almost comical.  It was the beauty of a snuff film. You beat them as if only to prove their point of your own depravity.  “I should have died in battle not like this,” he thought, wishfully thinking “You already knew it wouldn’t end well, just a hope for some glory or whatnot.  Die on my feet, not an execution then dumped into a ditch, fucking poets never talk about this, but I guess it makes for bad stories when the hero dies in a ditch like a dog.  The only choice we have in our death is to take what comes… Well we could take it ourselves but that has less meaning then the courtroom I was in this morning… Hell if I wasn’t going to get a dignified death might as well have fun with it, I’ll give my kid a good story to tell his friends when he grows up about his bastard of a father”, as if the child would ever know.  “Excuse me sir but could you make this quick?  See I have a date tonight and if I’m late I still get charged for the full hour”.  “Prisoner 3244, do not make this harder for yourself then it is already going to be now shut the fuck up!” yelled the lieutenant as the sergeant rained more blows onto the condemned.  Almost in a daze he thought to himself about his fate, they were supposed to be warriors… No bagpipes, no young Celtic woman signing laments to her fallen love. “Fucking poets…”  The Sergeant had finally taken the safety off, he noticed.  It was time to go, “Well if there wasn’t going to be a woman’s lament at my funeral I guess I’ll just sing something myself” he thought, lifting his head up he began to shout the words to a dirty song from his youth at least it was appropriate for the situation, “You live your life like an annoying bastard might as well die as one”.  The world went red as a single round passed through the back of his skull.  A new hill of skulls for a new generation….

I remember my youth…

I remember long ago when I woke up in that trench on my 19th birthday.  This was not new for me at the time I had done it most mornings for the past year with the occasional foxhole and cave thrown in for a nice change of scenery.  As usual I attempted to change into clean socks.   Clean socks being ones I might not have worn for a day or two – and questioned myself on why I was there.  I knew the answer I just always hoped I had a better one but I never did.  The truth was while I was not the most ideological man in the world but I remember my surrogate father and his war stories and some things just kicked the wrong way so on day he died I picked up a gun and marched out.  I remember him to this day, he’d been a Master Sergeant in the army years before and still looked the part except his eyes had more kindness in them after having to raise a child and being forced to let go of the pain of his fallen comrades. He understood why he was left behind that day; someone had to take care of the families to be evacuated to safety especially the young pregnant bride of the lieutenant. What is more important the mission the generals send you on or the mission your friend gives you to protect his wife?  The kind of question each man can only answer for himself.   He had become the uncle of so many poor children from fathers lost, Master Sergeant Williams became Uncle Daniel the stern but kind old man for whom every word spoken was law.   The children would sit in rapt attention almost as if in formation as he would regal them of stories and knowledge of the past.  On his death bed he regretted the stories he told them of their parents war and history, it was his job to protect them, but the stories had instilled pride in their hearts over their fathers dreams and sacrifices, and wanting to live up to their fathers names they marched off to die when the rebellion started anew. He should have won, his men, his generation should of won, but they didn’t and left the next their sorrow.  That is the curse of the old warrior.  That is the curse of the bard.  For he can only sing of the young men fallen, thinking that all the good men are dead, shot through with arrows in the fields to give us even a glimmer of hope that good men will once again be. The truth is that a man can only die in vain if we care not for his sacrifice, but are many not willing to forget our past so that it becomes second nature to curse our heroes and sympathize with our enemy?  We killed ourselves for…  Um… Fuck if we know.

Like so many others I was not willing to forget.  Lucky for me that kick landed me in a trench outside Farmington eating rats and waiting for the inevitable shelling that would most likely occur at the exact moment I was trying to figure out what plant wasn’t a good idea to use as toilet paper.  I love my life… I think.  In reality at this point I’m just hoping I don’t die with a handful of poison ivy while sitting on the hole we call a latrine.

To say the least I was the worst soldier in the worst army on the planet.  The simple fact I’m alive might make that statement slightly awkward, but really, who is going to argue with me?  I might be a bad soldier but I’m still alive, I like to tell myself I have no idea why I’m still here but I think I know why, I just like to tell myself I don’t.  Makes it all sound better.  Well, in my head it does, sane people probably think something is wrong with me and they might be right but I don’t know any sane people so what do I really know about what they are thinking?

I was a soldier in a war we lost.  We were farmers and tradesmen fighting for an ill-defined ideal of freedom against our own corrupt state.  All of us pawns and we knew it but we hoped we where pawns on the side of justice in a war that lasted several lifetimes and several more if you count the average life of a soldier.  As the war dragged on, others died and I lived, I was promoted again and again but not so high that I wasn’t still a pawn.  In war the ability to survive without running away in cowardice has always been a virtue and I imagine it always will be but in the end we lost and lucky for me I was not so high that I wasn’t granted a pardon so at 25 I went back to my little town and my trade to grow older in my little apartment alone until the day she walked into my little shop on the corner of Maple avenue and who gives a shit.

Natasha was young it looked like she was twenty at most, petite, auburn hair with the look on her face of the cute ignorance of a child with a purpose.  The look that has gotten men killed for centuries and she walked into my shop to get me killed.  No, that wasn’t her intention; she wanted to start the war anew, for the fourth time because someone had filled her head with the same dreams our fathers had filled ours but she was going to get me killed.  I had known her father years before and while I had walked away to nothing but a little shop he had gone home to his family and raised his young daughter up with the idea of making his dreams a reality.  I should have thrown her out, I shouldn’t have listened but I was undone by those eyes and her promises of glory that reminded me of my youth so long ago and I marched back into my death.  Long ago I had walked away so why now was I running back?  Back to the battlefield and glories drenched in young men’s blood.  Maybe my hermitage was only my own personal purgatory while I waited to be called back as I swore I never wanted to be or would.  Maybe I’m just a sucker for the lamentations of children and other poetic lies.  Maybe I just gave up and wanted to die yet still be able to claim some honor from it.  It doesn’t matter now I picked up my banner and marched back out into the fray, back into hell itself.

I remember my death…

Five years later.  Five years after listening to the tearful pleas of a friend’s child I was kneeling in the mud in front of an open pit my jaw broken and watching the little droplets of blood falling from my face and forming a tiny pool in the dirt.  I remember pushing her out of the back as the house we were in was stormed.  I remember the trenches and death and the long hungry nights.  I remember asking myself why I was still there and why I just couldn’t let the pride of my youth go and walk away.  I remember how it felt to be alive and all the lies of the poets.  I tried to look at the sky with the one eye still not shut from trauma and caked blood but it was too painful to lift my head.  I remember smelling the oil from the gun pressed against the back of my head and trying to stutter out some empty insults to the executioners and I remember nothing else.  Fucking poets…

Hi, I Named My Child Guinea Pig Because That is What I’m Using It For.

“Parents keep child’s gender secret”

So these idiots that claim to be parents are trying to “raise a genderless baby”.  Why the fucking hell would you do that?  The kid has either an XX or and XY at the fucking genetic code don’t they?  It’s not genderless you just want to experiment with a fucking child – your fucking child –  to make some fucking idiotic socio-political point.    What the fucking shit-hell is wrong with mother-rapist assholes on this planet?

“Witterick and Stocker believe they are giving their children the freedom to choose who they want to be, unconstrained by social norms about males and females. Some say their choice is alienating.”

No, no you are fucking not doing that you are fucking with their heads.  Let me explain something you shit-heels missing in your fucking 3rd grad science class.  Baring a genetic abnormality you, as a fucking human, or I don’t fucking know a mammal are either male or female.   You know fuckwad, XX/XY chromosome, like genetics and DNA and shit like that?  You are not fighting some concept like the socially designated ideals of what a male or female should be you are fucking fighting the concept of genetics itself.   Do you have a uterus and can carry a child?  What no you don’t you might not be a woman and no matter how much you try to tell yourself you are one you aren’t jackass!!!  People do need to learn how to be comfortable with themselves and shit like that but when you tell someone to ignore their own genetics you aren’t fucking doing that you are fucking with their fucking head you fucking crapshit little bitches!  And these are fucking children!!!  Congratulations you hippie ass-sucking scum fucks you and destroying the mind of a child.  If your daughter wants to play sports and study math while your son wants to be a poet and design clothing fucking hell yes you fucking encourage them to do that fucking happy horse shit but you don’t fuck with their biology.  You are heretics to science and nature.    You are going to raise a fucking serial killer.  This isn’t about sexuality.  If you are a homosexual you are still a male or female that happens to like to fuck someone of the same gender.  You cannot, no matter how much you want to try, change your fucking gender since no matter what you do you cannot fucking change your DNA, and if we could do it you fucking shouldn’t.

I fucking understand that these people are fucking morons considering this quote from the article about the family  “Last year, they spent two weeks in Cuba, living with local families and learning about the revolution.”  Yeah we all love the revolution especially the fucking part where it took the country with the second largest GDP in the western hemisphere to one of the last in a matter of fucking months.  Barring all the mass murder and oppression lets fucking celebrate that with our mentally abused children!  You fucks would probably do less harm to your children if you forced them you watch you fellate sheep every Tuesday.  No instead you try to make them uncomfortable with their own biology for you own socio-political ideology.

Look asslickers gender cannot be changed.  It’s not a social construct it’s fucking biology.  If you have a son who would rather paint than play fucking hockey buy him art supplies and tell him to paint.  I remember being a little llama and what my parents did.  They gave me a hockey stick, a bb-gun, a set of colored pencils and oil paints, a chemistry set and then made me learn to play several instruments.  A person (or llama in my case) is only well rounded (no matter what the gender) if it experiences it all but it is their choice on what to focus on.  However no matter their interest they are still biologically male or female and you can’t fucking change that.  However you can fuck with someone’s mind so much they don’t know what the fucking shit is going the fuck on. Gender is important but not important how people what to make it or unimportant how fucking dumpster babies what to make it.  Gender matters because we need strong men and strong women to show our children what strong men and strong women should be like.   Fucking hell bitches we already have the concept of the “mama bear” so it’s not like we only think the father will kill us when we fuck with their family.  Boys need a strong father to show them what a man is supposed to be and a strong mother to show them what a woman is supposed to be, girls need the same thing.  This isn’t as I said about sexuality.  It’s not about what hole you happen to prefer fucking, it’s about gender.  You have an XX or an XY (genetic abnormalities not withstanding).  To deny gender is to deny nature.  We should all be warriors and we should all be artists, but you are still either a male or fucking female.  Leave children out of your stupid fucking crusades you herpes smuggling ass eaters!

 

 

Llama out bitches…

News Clips From Around The World Of Stupid

Yep it’s that time again, the time to make fun of some of the recent news stories.  I know you are all as excited as TSA agent when they see a small child so let’s get started.

Remember If You Don’t Support Cop Killers You Hate Children.

“Between negotiating for more benefits and teaching their students, the California Federation of Teachers has adopted a resolution of support for convicted cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal.”

I don’t need more of a reason to hate teachers unions than I already do (I went to public school).  But seriously this is what they are worried about?  A fucking cop killer?  The man was a racist and killed a cop over a traffic ticket and admitted to doing so.  Well until he realized he had a thousand useful idiots out there that would back him and did want to ride the lightning changed his tune.  I really don’t know how this guy hasn’t been executed yet other than bullshit, bullshit and more bullshit.  Anyway, of all the things the teachers union could be worried about they are worried about this?  50% of our children can’t read or compute at their grade level and we are yelling about a convicted cop killer?  For those of you who don’t remember how grades worked in school getting 50% on a test meant you failed.   No matter how stupid, ignorant or crazy the demands of the teachers unions are any time you disagree with them their only answer is to scream about how much you must hate children and then they waste their time on this crap?  How about this; if you want better pay and benefits show us the children are learning more and doing better in school and actually earn the higher paychecks.  Right now all you are doing is crying like babies and running off on idiotic crusades to help cop killers. Also California is broke, the country is broke how much money do you think there really is to spend?  I don’t hate teachers, although there are quite a few I did hate and I can honestly say most of the teachers I have had in my life dealing with the public schools were not very good with many being downright terrible, but I don’t hate them all.  I can say I had 4 good teachers sadly it doesn’t sound as good when you remember I had 4 good ones during 12 years of schooling and each year of schooling I had at least 6 teachers.  So for all the BS yelling about people hating children I look at it like this, if you support the teachers unions you are the ones who really hate children.

That and Mumia needs to get executed already.

Because Terrorists Have High Moral Standards

“Meet Nagla Al-Imam, an Egyptian lawyer who suggests a novel form of “resistance” for Palestinian “fighters” contra Israel: Sexually harass Israeli women.

Al-Iman assures us that this won’t lead to rape, because resistance fighters’ “morals” are much “loftier” than that. But even if it does, she says, Israeli women would have no “right” to be upset, for this would merely square them with the Palestinians whose land they rape. And “few things,” Al-Iman tells us “are as grave as the rape of land.”

You have to see it to believe it, folks.”

Yeah this would never lead to rape especially since the only countries I know about that punish rape victims for being raped are run by Moslems since Moslems never rape anyone ever.

Or murder kids…

I love the part where she is asked by the reporter if this is will get people to break sexual harassment laws and she just basically say we don’t have any so who cares.  She doesn’t even act like it’s a bad thing they don’t have any.  This lady literally says that while she knows these “freedom fighter” have such high morals that they would never rape a woman (because the Islamists in Iran never raped women in prison so they wouldn’t have to execute a virgin for example), but if they did who cares and the woman because she is Israeli has no right to be upset.  Yeah the woman deserved it for being Israeli. I really, really hate the Middle East.

Suicide Solution

“Disgraced politician John Edwards is said to be deeply depressed – to the point of being suicidal – over the prospect of a criminal trial that could end with him being jailed if found guilty.

The 57-year-old former Presidential candidate reportedly told a close friend: ‘I won’t go to jail. I’d kill myself first!’

Yeah, sounds like a great idea asshole.   You are such a piece of shit you cheated on your wife while she was dying of cancer and then you pull a bunch of illegal bullshit moves to try to hide it and what upsets you is the thought of going to jail and actually paying the consequences?  You still have children, your children just lost their mother and you and going to kill yourself and make them orphans instead of spending a year or two in jail?  I knew the guy was a piece of shit years ago but I didn’t know he was this bad (I’m not surprised though, I really wish I was, but I’m not).  OK this might all be bullshit I don’t know if it is true but if it is fucking hell.  The sad thing is the end of the article makes it sound like the person who wrote this is trying to make us feel bad for the guy.  No, no I do not, in fact I feel even less bad than I already did for him.  It doesn’t make me happy it just kinda makes me hate him, and I really don’t want to care about the fucker enough to hate him.

Apparently The U.N. Hasn’t Filled It’s Quotient Of Crazy This Month. 

“UNITED NATIONS — Bolivia will this month table a draft United Nations treaty giving “Mother Earth” the same rights as humans — having just passed a domestic law that does the same for bugs, trees and all other natural things in the South American country.

The bid aims to have the UN recognize the Earth as a living entity that humans have sought to “dominate and exploit” — to the point that the “well-being and existence of many beings” is now threatened.”

This reminds me of the term “Watermelon”.  It’s someone who is green on the outside and red on the inside.  Meaning it’s a communist using environmental issues to push communism.  Especially since Bolivia’s laws specifically said they need to “end capitalism”.  The funy thing about this is that we are talking about the U.N.  Most of the member states of the U.N. are dictatorships with no freedom or human rights so are they going to give the earth the same rights they give their own people? I can’t wait till someone tries to say we are raping Mother Earth and Iran puts on trial for adultery and tries to stone her to death or China tries to throw Mother earth in Jail and execute her for saying something they don’t like and selling her organs on the black market.  Maybe Saudi Arabia will try to execute Mother Earth for apostasy or Cuba might try to jail her for reactionary thought.  The Sudan will try to sell her into slavery and England will bring her up on hate crimes charges for that natural disaster that hiss anyone who isn’t white.  And we can all have a good time yelling at Mother Earth because she doesn’t distribute her natural resources evenly and bring her up on trial for that.  It’s as if the U.N. is the longest running Monty Python sketch only it’s dead serious and there is always a chance it will get you killed, raped or starved to death.

Another question I has is if a natural disaster happens in a poor country do we charge Mother Nature with a hate crime or class warfare?

Obama Has The Worst Collection Of Pokemon.

“HONOLULU — The Honolulu Police Department confirmed that a close friend of President Barack Obama was arrested Monday in connection with a prostitution sting case.

Police arrested Bobby Titcomb, 49, a Punahou School classmate of Obama, at 9:40 p.m. in downtown Honolulu at the corner of Pohukaina and South streets. He was released after posting $500 bail, police said.

Police arrested four men in connection with a reverse prostitution sting involving a fake online female escort website, sources said.

The offense is considered a misdemeanor. Titcomb’s initial court appearance is scheduled May 2.

Titcomb usually spends the holidays with the president and his family when they spend time in Hawaii. He has been seen playing golf and attending picnics with the president.

The first family attended a barbecue at Ticomb’s Waialua home in December.”

There was the Racist, the Terrorist, the Communist what else does he need to collect them all?

Target Is A 13 Year Old Male In Possession Of A Tuna Sandwich And Some Pudding, Should I Take The Shot Sir? 

“Chicago school bans some lunches brought from home

To encourage healthful eating, Chicago school doesn’t allow kids to bring lunches or certain snacks from home — and some parents, and many students, aren’t fans of the policy”

I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the schools to provide lunch for children it’s the parent’s job.  This is where we all pause for a moment so you can yell about how much I hate children.  OK now that we have that bullshit out of the way we can move on.  I remember the lunches when I was in school and healthy wasn’t the first word I would use to describe them but I’m sure Chicago runs their school lunch programs better than they ran Cabrini-Green.  I really don’t know if this is to take more control away from parents or just to line the pockets of the contractors that provide the school lunches (for a nice little donation during election time of course), but it doesn’t matter it’s wrong either way.  Yeah some parents won’t take care of their children but unless the state is going to put them in a group home there isn’t much you can do about that.  The thing is this is taking away the right of the parents that do take care of their children.  I remember the packed lunches I got when my parents still made them for me.  It was a sandwich (meat, cheese, lettuce, pickle and tomato) a small bag of chips/popcorn (oh noes!!!) and a piece of fruit (usually a banana, apple or orange).  Sounds like I got all the food groups covered there.  Then I switched to the school lunch program (because I was old enough to make my own lunch but was lazy so my parents just paid for the school lunch) and I ate pizza or nachos every day (because it was the only things they served that could be considered edible.    Hell the school lunches we so small I would get two of them every day.  Granted I never eat breakfast unless I work out in the morning so I always eat a large lunch but that doesn’t matter.  I’m not fat, I never was fat.  I wasn’t some health nut in school and only started to work out semi-regularly recently so that wasn’t why I wasn’t a fat ass as a kid.  It was because my parents threw me outside and told me to play, so I did and as I got older I did other things like play drums (if you practice for a while it’s a good workout).  If you are really worried about the kids make gym class more demanding that was the whole point if it to make kids get some exercise anyway so use it.  Forcing kids to eat the terrible school lunches is putting a Band-Aid on a severed limb.  You can tell yourself you are helping but you aren’t even pretending to get to the root of the problem.  Hell the whole point of school lunches in the first place was to make sure the kids whose parents weren’t taking care of them wouldn’t go hungry at lunch time because their parents were too poor or lazy to make the kid lunch and now we are using more and more tax dollars to feed kids whose parents have the money to feed their kids.  My tax dollars are going to feed the children of people that make more money than I do.  One of the kids I went to school with father was and still is a US Congressman.  Are you saying that kid needed the school to make him lunch or he would starve?  He did however leave the school after 2 years to transfer to a private school because our school sucked bad and he had pissed off one of the local gang members that went there.

More from the article:

Fernando Dominguez cut the figure of a young revolutionary leader during a recent lunch period at his elementary school.

“Who thinks the lunch is not good enough?” the seventh-grader shouted to his lunch mates in Spanish and English.

Dozens of hands flew in the air and fellow students shouted along: “We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch! We should bring our own lunch!”

Fernando waved his hand over the crowd and asked a visiting reporter: “Do you see the situation?”

I like this kid.

“At his public school, Little Village Academy on Chicago’s West Side, students are not allowed to pack lunches from home. Unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.

Principal Elsa Carmona said her intention is to protect students from their own unhealthful food choices.”

Yes we must protect you from yourself, or your parents…

“Any school that bans homemade lunches also puts more money in the pockets of the district’s food provider, Chartwells-Thompson. The federal government pays the district for each free or reduced-price lunch taken, and the caterer receives a set fee from the district per lunch.”

And part of that money helps line people’s reelection campaigns.
“At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad.”

I know it’s a running joke that healthy food tastes bad but it’s not true.  Everyone loves beef stew and it’s not that hard to use low-fat beef and put a lot of vegetables in there, make it nice and healthy and serve it over rice or pasta.  Everyone loves stir-fry and it’s not that hard to make without using that much oil and it’s filled with healthy things.  You want a healthy burrito?  Throw in some black beans, lettuce, cheese, olives, onions, tomatoes and some rice and not only to you have a very good burrito but it tastes good and the kids would love it.  But you won’t do that because you think burritos aren’t healthy.   People act like the only thing you can eat is rice cakes and tofu burgers to eat healthy (at least 8% of rice cakes don’t taste like Styrofoam and ass, tofu on the other hand always tastes like shit).  It’s bullshit.  Hell you learn about the food pyramid in school and they can’t figure out how to use it to make healthy food that tastes good?

“For many CPS parents, the idea of forbidding home-packed lunches would be unthinkable. If their children do not qualify for free or reduced-price meals, such a policy would require them to pay $2.25 a day for food they don’t necessarily like.”

“We don’t spend anywhere close to that on my son’s daily intake of a sandwich (lovingly cut into the shape of a Star Wars ship), Goldfish crackers and milk,” education policy professor Diane Whitmore Schanzenbach wrote in an email. Her son attends Nettelhorst Elementary School in Lakeview. “Not only would mandatory school lunches worsen the dietary quality of most kids’ lunches at Nettelhorst, but it would also cost more out of pocket to most parents! There is no chance the parents would stand for that.”

Not only is this parent making her family is fed but she is taking the time to make it fun.  Think about how much better a child is going to do in school when they know that they have that lunch made with love for them every day.  It sounds a lot better than some grumpy lunch lady (it’s a stereotype I know but when I was in school it was 100% correct) dumping slop onto a tray.

I love the end of the article though.

“Many Little Village students claim that, given the opportunity, they would make sound choices.

“They’re afraid that we’ll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won’t be as good as what they give us at school,” said student Yesenia Gutierrez. “It’s really lame. If we could bring in our own lunches, everyone knows what they’d bring. For example, the vegetarians could bring in their own veggie food.”

“I would bring a sandwich or a Subway and maybe a juice,” said seventh-grader Ashley Valdez.

Second-grader Gerardo Ramos said, “I would bring a banana, orange and some grapes.”

“I would bring a juice and like a sandwich,” said fourth-grader Eric Sanchez.

“Sometimes I would bring the healthy stuff,” second-grader Julian Ruiz said, “but sometimes I would bring Lunchables.”

Is it always going to be that healthy?  No.  Who cares there is nothing wrong with a pizza, some fried chicken or a burger.  You just eat more than just that.  Sometimes you want a salad and sometimes you want hot-wings and there is nutritional value in both and there are things you get in one you can’t get in the other.  That’s why we have the food pyramid because you need it all, you just need it in the proper amounts.  Yesterday I have fried chicken, mash potatoes and green beans with bacon for lunch.  For dinner I had a very large salad.  I got everything I needed (other than the grains since I don’t think the breading is enough to qualify for the whole serving) but I live.  The other day I had a half a bag of potato chips and a giant bowl of broccoli for dinner.  Yeah my eating habits are weird but I get what I need.  See parents know what their children will eat.  They know the kid won’t eat brussel sprouts but they will eat green beans, carrots or corn.  I didn’t eat brussel sprouts or asparagus when I was a kid (I do now) but I loved broccoli and mixed vegetables as long as there wasn’t any types of squash or mushrooms in it (still won’t eat either).  And every kid will eat a fruit cup just as fast as they would eat Jell-o or pudding.  Parents know this and they know what their kid will eat and how to get them to eat healthy food yet for some reason the people running the school (many who have children) can’t figure this shit out.

I hate to admit when a dirty hippy is at least a little right but in this case I will.  Go to this link and it gives a nice suggestion on making a kid a healthy lunch they will eat  (you don’t need to use the organic/free-range/overpriced whatever they want you to though.  It’s about the bento boxes (they are not usually as fancy as the ones on the last link though) they have in Japan and a little bit on how to make them on your own.  The idea of a bento is that it’s a box with several compartments that you put different foods in and it is a common lunch thing in Japan.  I eat them quite often for lunch.  It’s usually a main dish, some rice, a vegetable, some pickles and some fruit but there are a lot of different varieties, I like the tonkatsu (it’s fried and breaded pork cutlet with this awesome sauce called tonkatsu sauce – the best being the Bulldog brand) or meat loaf ones.  There are ones made to be hot and ones made to be cold.  Either way, they are good and you can make them with different leftovers to save money.

After I wrote all this I say something that said the Principle in question backtracked and said she was taken out of context or that she didn’t mean to say what it sounded like she said.  It sounds more like when a bunch of people got angry she tried to back herself out of it.

Wendy’s Has New Fries And In Other News The Reporter May Have Been Paid To Plug A Different Food Joint In this Article. 

“When Wendy’s (NYSE: WENNews) created its Natural Cut Fries With Sea Salt, which it introduced last fall and is now promoting in new TV ads this week, the company’s product development team found a way to leave the potato skins on, make the fries crispier and give them a much tastier flavor. What they didn’t manage to do, however, is make the fries an actual all-natural product. That, says CMO Ken Calwell, would be too difficult given fast food customers’ demands for items that are cheap and can be hoisted through a car window.”

Last time I checked Fark.com has a whole section on advertisements masquerading as news.  This is one of those things.  The thing about it is why the lady that wrote the article keeps mentioning Five Guys as if they are either the greatest thing on the planet or the standard to what all food should be held too.  That or she got paid a bunch of money by Five Guys to act like that.   Now for the record I have never eaten at Five Guys and honestly I’m apathetic towards them.   Wendy’s on the other hand I have eaten and do like their food.  I even worked at a Wendy’s years ago (yes I worked at one and will still eat their food).   To me they are one of the better fast food joints but their fries always were a problem.  The problem with their fries was that half the time they were a little undercooked for my tastes.  Now when they were cooked long enough that they were all crunchy they were some of the best fast food fries you could get but a lot of time you had the undercooked kinda soggy ones and they just kind of sucked that way (as do all fries). But oh how I love a triple and a large chili.   I haven’t been able to try the new fries because they don’t have Wendy’s in Japan anymore so I can’t say if the new ones are better or not.  My problem with this article is that the reporter sounded like she wrote this article more to plug Five Guys rather than talk about the new Wendy’s fries.  I really want to say that Wendy’s having new fries isn’t news but at least this is in the financial part of Yahoo News so we can at least say it has some merit to people that are either investing in Wendy’s or thinking about it, but when it all comes down to it aren’t we all going to get the same information from the next commercial break?

Right Now There Is A Cop Drunk Dialing Your Girlfriend And A Sniveling Little Bureaucrat Touching Himself For Thinking This Whole Thing Up.

“Michigan: Police Search Cell Phones During Traffic Stops
ACLU seeks information on Michigan program that allows cops to download information from smart phones belonging to stopped motorists.

The Michigan State Police have a high-tech mobile forensics device that can be used to extract information from cell phones belonging to motorists stopped for minor traffic violations. The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) of Michigan last Wednesday demanded that state officials stop stonewalling freedom of information requests for information on the program.

ACLU learned that the police had acquired the cell phone scanning devices and in August 2008 filed an official request for records on the program, including logs of how the devices were used. The state police responded by saying they would provide the information only in return for a payment of $544,680. The ACLU found the charge outrageous.

“Law enforcement officers are known, on occasion, to encourage citizens to cooperate if they have nothing to hide,” ACLU staff attorney Mark P. Fancher wrote. “No less should be expected of law enforcement, and the Michigan State Police should be willing to assuage concerns that these powerful extraction devices are being used illegally by honoring our requests for cooperation and disclosure.”

A US Department of Justice test of the CelleBrite UFED used by Michigan police found the device could grab all of the photos and video off of an iPhone within one-and-a-half minutes. The device works with 3000 different phone models and can even defeat password protections.

“Complete extraction of existing, hidden, and deleted phone data, including call history, text messages, contacts, images, and geotags,” a CelleBrite brochure explains regarding the device’s capabilities. “The Physical Analyzer allows visualization of both existing and deleted locations on Google Earth. In addition, location information from GPS devices and image geotags can be mapped on Google Maps.”

The ACLU is concerned that these powerful capabilities are being quietly used to bypass Fourth Amendment protections against unreasonable searches.”

And every time I yell about the encroaching Orwellian state we are all trying to get to people call me paranoid.  I can’t wait till politicians and other state officials try to track down people that have their daughter’s phone numbers.  I can just see how that would go.

Police Officer:  So tell me Mr. Smythe why do you have a Kathy Johnson’s phone number in your phone?

Kyle Smythe:  Um, what is this about officer?

PO:  Just answer the question kid before you end up like you little friend Jimmy there!

KM:  Please officer, I didn’t do anything we have a group project due next week and needed to exchange numbers with the groups!

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Don’t lie to me boy do you know who Miss Johnson is!?  Do you!?

(Child is crying)

KM:  Please officer, stop hitting me… We have social studies 5th period and Mrs. Nguyen has us doing a group project on Mesopotamia…

PO:  Well Senator Johnson seems to think otherwise?

KM:  What?

PO:  So am I to assume that you are just doing a “group project” with Miss. Johnson even though your parents voting record shows they voted for Senator Johnsons rival in the last election?

KM:  Sir, I’m 14, I don’t pay attention to that stuff.

(Officer slaps child)

PO:  Shut up and tell me why your parents donated 50 bucks to Senator Johnson’s rival in the last election and don’t lie to me boy!

KM:  Because apparently you and Senator Johnson are a bunch of fascist assholes and if I knew about this then I’d have told them to donate a lot more and spent less time playing X-Box and more time with the crazy militia guys that hang out in Baker’s Woods.

(Child passes out from blow to the head and scene fades to a picture of Kyle being led into a camp called Sunshine Farms Youth Reeducation Center).

So Does This Mean White People Can Get In On The Affirmative Action Policies Or Are They Still Not Allowed To Trick Or Treat At That House?

New census data confirm that some major metropolitan areas flipped from majority white to majority populations of minorities during the past decade.

White people are now in the minority in 46 of the nation’s 366 metro areas, including New York, Washington, San Diego, Las Vegas and Memphis, said William Frey, a demographer at the Brookings Institution.”

One thing I think is silly about this whole thing is they lump everyone that isn’t white into the same category of “Minority”, hell they even lump people that are white into the non-white (or minority) category like many Hispanics who are or 100% European decent but are somehow different than someone from Italy or Greece considering they are all of Mediterranean decent but the last two are jumped into the white (non-minority) category and the first into the minority category.      Anything to divide us I guess.

Honestly I could care less as long as they don’t vote for Progressives.

Out Of Fear That Nerds Might Try To Declare A Mulligan On History And Travel Back In Time To Support the Kuomintang China Bans Science Fiction Staple. 

“Hong Kong, China (CNN) – China has been cracking down on dissent of late, as the recent detainment of artist Ai Weiwei suggests.

But the latest guidance on television programming from the State Administration of Radio Film and Television in China borders on the surreal – or, rather, an attack against the surreal.

New guidelines issued on March 31 discourage plot lines that contain elements of “fantasy, time-travel, random compilations of mythical stories, bizarre plots, absurd techniques, even propagating feudal superstitions, fatalism and reincarnation, ambiguous moral lessons, and a lack of positive thinking.”

“The government says … TV dramas shouldn’t have characters that travel back in time and rewrite history. They say this goes against Chinese heritage,” reports CNN’s Eunice Yoon. “They also say that myth, superstitions and reincarnation are all questionable.”

The Chinese censors seem to be especially sensitive these days. But for the television and film industry, such strictures would seem to eliminate any Chinese version of “Star Trek,” “The X-Files,” “Quantum Leap” or “Dr. Who.”  And does that mean rebroadcast of huge Hollywood moneymakers like “Back to the Future” and the “Terminator” series are now forbidden?”

All I can think is that the Chinese government thought that if people think to hard about time travel they might get crazy ideas like what would happen if we all went back in time and stopped the communists from taking over and murdering tens of millions of us and oppressing the ones that managed to live.  Also since the last thing a communist is, is sane, they might be worried that some poor dissident might get so engrossed in the concept of time travel he ends up finding a way to do it and does the world a favor by beating to death Mao Zedong to death on his 18th birthday and does the entire world and the Chinese people a huge favor.  He’d be the best superhero ever.  Think about it he could call himself The Vigilante of Time and it could be a TV show.  It would be if Quantum Leap was about a Chinese guy jumping through time putting a bullet in the head of every shithead who ever needed it before they got a chance to be the bastard they would grow up to be.  I’d watch that show.  Hell I have no idea why that show hasn’t already been made.  If this show is ever made I don’t want any money for the idea just give me a mention in the credits and make sure you have episodes where they take out Che Guevara, Karl Marx and Hitler.  Also one where they stop they guy who invented Auto-Tune (he doesn’t have to die just stop the invention).

And Duke University Still Has Their Fingers In Their Ears While Yelling “La, La La, I Can’t Hear You”.

Durham, N.C. — Family members of a man who was stabbed in his home April 3 say he died Wednesday evening. Crystal Mangum, the Durham woman who falsely accused three Duke University lacrosse players of rape in 2006, has been charged with assaulting him.

“Durham police confirmed Thursday morning that Reginald Daye, 46, had died.

“The case remains under investigation, and we do anticipate upgrading the charges. However, no new charges have been filed at this time,” police spokeswoman Kammie Michael said in an e-mail to WRAL News.

Police said Mangum, 32, stabbed Daye in the torso with a kitchen knife during a dispute at 3507 Century Oaks Drive early on April 3…

In February 2010, police arrested Mangum after an altercation between her and a different boyfriend. In that incident, she was accused of assaulting the man in front of her children and setting some of his clothes on fire.

She was later convicted of child abuse, injury to personal property and resisting a public officer in the case, but prosecutors dismissed an arson charge after a jury couldn’t reach a verdict.”

You know if they had just locked her up for the first round of bullshit this might not have happened.  Granted I don’t know how long a jail sentence you get for false accusations are (and even though I’m on the internets right now I’m not looking it up) but it might have at least stopped for a bit the progression of her offenses.  I wonder if Mike Nifong is punching himself in the face right now.  If he isn’t he should be.

I hate it here.

A Drunken Rant From My Nuclear Wasteland: Cooking Tips, Pointless Rants, Your Mom, Cheap Obama Jokes And Other Reasons To Rage Against The Dying Of Existentialist Training In Primary School.

I would like to say something about video games and the people who make them.  If you are making a video game and you have a boss fight followed directly by another boss fight with no time in between the two you are a cheap asshole.    People work your way up to the fight give it your all and instead of having the downtime to replace your items, health, ect you go directly into another large fight that you had no idea you would unless you used a cheat guide.    I shouldn’t have to use a cheat guide or a walkthrough in order to play a fucking video game.  Not only that but if you die fighting the second boss guess what you have to fight them both over even if you kicked the first one’s ass.  Fuck you guys, seriously fuck you.

Cheap ass motherfuckers…

OK I have used walkthroughs for games before but that is when I was really stuck on something and wanted a little extra help.  I’m not saying it’s wrong to use them but it is very annoying to make a game you need the thing to play.

I like Tetris…

I don’t know if my heart isn’t in it any more or I found shit to do but I really don’t post on here much anymore do I?  Maybe it is the fact there are only so many Obama Teleprompter jokes you can make before you just don’t care anymore.   You all liked me more when I didn’t have a life didn’t you?   Either that or you are happy I have mostly shut up.   The sad thing is that this post took over a month to write.  It’s not that it took me a month to type this it’s that I would write a little, stop, write some more, stop still not post it because it wasn’t long enough or whatever and stop.  It’s not that bad considering I wrote about 10,000 words for another post in 2008 and keep forgetting to finish it.  Maybe I should go…

Oooo, nachos..

I bought a duck the other day (frozen, not as a pet).  I hadn’t roasted one in a while so I thought it sounded like a good thing to spend a Saturday doing (apart from playing video games and drinking beer, oh lord do I need to get a girlfriend).  On the package was anthropomorphic family of ducks that looked all happy holding hands.  I know that someone thought this was cute and a good way to catch people’s attention so they would think “Oh, look a happy family and since I want my family to be happy I will get this frozen duck for them and my family will all be happy together”.  All I could think was “I’m about to eat one or your children.  I’m not sure why you are smiling I can only assume it’s that you don’t understand someone killed your son and I’m going to shove garlic, onion and some of my famous spiced  butter  where his heart used to be roast the fuck out of him and eat him”.  It’s not like milk.  You have a smiling cow in sunglasses that says “Look at me I’m an awesome cow, and I make awesome milk, here have some and we can party on the milk train”.  This is more like “I can’t feed my family so I will sell you one of my children to make it through the winter.  Please smile mister so the rest of the kids don’t think something is wrong” kind of thing.    Don’t get me wrong I’m not going to become a vegan.  I’m not a big enough of a stupid pretentious asshat for that shit (if you know anything about evolution it was eating meat that helped our brain develop enough to get us out of the flinging our shit at everyone and drinking our own piss stage of development), I just find the whole happy duck family thing on my food funny since I’m about to eat the fuck out of you and I’m not sure why you are smiling.  Maybe it’s just that this is Japan and if it doesn’t have a cartoon on it and it isn’t beer or condoms you don’t buy it.  Is it an Emo duck?  “Woohoo I’m about to die, thank you Mr. I just couldn’t go through with it on my own you helped so much!!!”  Well I know it’s not a Goth duck, they would have been wearing black and have at least fought back unless I told them I was a vampire first…

For people that want to know my famous* spiced butter is really just a strange concoction I use for baking poultry that involves butter, an assortment of random spices (aka at least a pinch of everything on the spice rack but mostly basil and pepper), worcestershire sauce, teriyaki sauce, garlic, beer and sometimes a bit of water.  I also might add hoisin or duck sauce (if it is duck, but not if it is chicken or turkey).  It’s better with the duck sauce (if you use that you use more duck sauce and less butter) but it’s good either way.  You heat this concoction enough to melt the butter and then slather it on everything and inside everything (aka the poultry).  It does not even in the least look or sound like it is edible but oh lord is it good.

I actually cook almost everything with booze.  I use sake instead of the rice wine they make for cooking (I never use cooking wine, too much salt and while I don’t have a problem with salt I’m going to get that someplace else).  A good pasta sauce is always made with a good red wine (usually Chianti or Merlot).  Chili, burritos, shepherd’s pie, beef stew, hamburgers, beer.  My food might drink more than I do.

Well we are on cooking so let’s go with it.  I learned how to cook when I was very young to the point that by the time I was 8 I would make entire meals for the family.  I have always been pretty good at it and enjoy it.  I don’t think I could every do it as a job though.  There are a lot of reasons for that.  When I was younger I made it a point to make the presentation a part of the meal (as you would expect from a chef) but as I got older I cared a lot less about presentation and a lot more for how it tastes.  I can still try to make it look nice but I live alone and unless I have a girlfriend over (and since I don’t have one at the moment) I really don’t care how it looks.  This has led me to invent some very, very tasty dishes that look absolutely horrendous.  One dish is fried potatoes, onions and pork chops cooked in balsamic vinegar and mint (with some other spices in various amounts).  Everything comes out black, it’s good, excellent even but it’s a bit disconcerting.  Another is a recipe for lamb that turns the lamb green because I basically cook it in a concoction that the best way to describe is a mix between mint tea and mint pesto.  A marinade for steak I have turns the entire steak a grayish brown (not matter how rare it is).  You take 2 Guinness, a little garlic, some pepper, a little basil (I put basil in almost everything), a lot of scallions and about a 4th of a cup of sugar (the scallions and sugar are important otherwise it will be bitter) and you marinate the steak in it at least overnight (sometimes 2), pull it out throw it on a grill cooking it to your taste (I like rare or sometimes medium rare), and you eat.  It is good but the color of the meat always looks a little off.  Now people might be thinking “yeah so you like it but you are cooking it for your own tastes, does anyone else like any of this?”  Yes, yes they do.  Even my friend who is a professional chef likes it (although being the asshole he is he will always makes comments about what he would of done, but it is more of a trade thing rather than a complaint about the taste).

Another thing about my cooking is I don’t think any of it is very low in calories.  Thank Vishnu I have a high metabolism or I would be 400 pounds.  To give you an example I have a recipe for hot wings where the sauce is mostly butter and Louisiana Hot Sauce.

Maybe I just like my food weird.  The trick to good BBQ pork ribs is to rub the meat with a little garam masala (or at least a little cinnamon) mixed with a few other more normal things like pepper, onion and garlic salt and a bit of chili powder before you throw it on the grill.  That and while you put the BBQ sauce on in the end you want to char the outside a little.  It sounds wrong but trust me.  A little bit of a crunch on the outside and a lot of juicy rib on the inside and you are golden.   Sometimes I think I get invited to cookouts just because they want me to cook.

Still half of my food looks inedible and my recipes don’t really have any standardized measurements.  It’s more of keep adding things until it tastes right.

I really hate it at work when people expect me to deal with their constant fuck ups.  Lucky for me people have started to realize I am going to hold them to at least the minimum standard they are supposed to be at so they don’t ask me to hook them up or fix their shit anymore.  The problem is that rather than get their shit together they find someone else to try to get me to hook them up for them.  Now I have to explain to the other department managers that “no we do not hook them up, they are incompetent buffoons stop listening to them or being nice to their stupid asses or they will never learn”.    Fuck at least if you tried to talk to my boss and get him to force me to do it, it would be less annoying.  I know why you don’t do this.  Because there is a 505 chance my boss will either give you the same answer I did or tell you to fuck off.  Then there is a 49.9% chance my boss would ask me to do it if I can but not try to demand it and let me tell him I won’t do it (unless I feel nice that day and try to help him out of the bullshit because I have time [5% chance]) , and a .01% chance they will force me to do it no matter what I say (these numbers and percentages hold up even with the one boss that hates my guts).

Speaking of work if I tell you something is not possible.  Such as something needs to get done in the next ten minutes (because you waited till the last minute to turn something in) and the systems required to do it are down (server screw-up, secluded maintenance, act of Vishnu, ect), why do you feel the need to get angry at me for it?  Do you think yelling at me and irritating the ever living fuck out of me is going to make things faster, make the systems (I don’t run only use) get up do a little happy dance and start working?  Do you think I’m going to push everyone else’s shit aside to fix your fuck up, especially considering you want to be rude about it?  I’m not going to sit here and say I’ve never hooked someone up or helped them out.  But those people came to me apologized for the late requests and were humble and nice about it and were understanding about technical difficulties when there were.  They offer to get me lunch, a sixer, something (I never accept this offer but it’s nice to know it’s there).   You on the other hand want to be a dick and act like it is my fault.  Fuck you.

Fuck work.  I spend all day there I don’t need to bitch about it on here.  Well that much anyway…

The world needs more bike lanes. Every street should have them.  Now this isn’t some hippie “save the world, we need more people riding bikes” type crap.  No, it’s because they piss me off.  They need to keep bikes off the road and out of traffic and away from my car.  They also need to keep the things off of sidewalks, people are walking there and since we can’t ban their use altogether to keep the fucking things away from normal people I think we should only allow their use is specially designated areas (preferably in the ocean or an active volcano).  Since you don’t walk in the street and you don’t drive on the sidewalk well you should either have to use a bike lane or go fuck yourself.

Nothing good can ever come from large amounts of alcohol and your ex.

Of all the stupid things that get made into TV shows or movies why has the webcomic Something Positive never been done?  Oh, right people don’t actually like sarcasm as much as I do…

Fuckers…

And now a funny video.

“Couldn’t we give them nothing instead and have them hate us for free?”  Oh if only…

Thanks Dr. Bulldog and Ronin

Why does most spam go to the “about” section of this blog?  Really they have some of the best comments that make absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Such as:

“I have to voice my affection for your kind-heartedness for men and women who require assistance with this one situation. Your special dedication to getting the solution up and down had become exceptionally beneficial and has in every case made regular people much like me to achieve their aims. Your amazing helpful guidelines entails this much to me and even more to my office workers. Thanks a lot; from everyone of us.”

Does that make any sense?

I just watched Inception.  A lot of people have questions about it but the only real question I have is did Mr. Saito get out?  Also am I the only person that gives a shit?  I might need a life…

Best Super Bowl Commercial:

Speaking of Doritos there was an ad that has the Salsa Verde Doritos.  Are they back?  If they are that is fucking awesome I loved those but then I guess they stopped making them or only selling them in select markets and they were gone.   Woohoo!  Oh, right I live in Japan and they don’t have them out here…  Foiled again, foiled again…  But at least I can get seaweed flavored potato chips…  Seriously do not eat seaweed flavored potato chips.  You will though, you won’t try to but you will see a bag of chips at the store and it will look like sour cream and onion chips (but they’re not) and you aren’t really paying attention because it’s 2am and you are a little drunk and just grabbing shit off the shelves. All you wanted was some sour cream and onion chips (and a hot dog, Pocari Sweat, a tuna sandwich, 5 cans of Yebisu, shrimp flavored chips, chicken on a stick, and well anything your drunken mind decides is food…) and oh god nooooooooooo!

Yeah speaking of the Super Bowl I really want to be angry but it was a good game and the Steelers fucked up.  Lord is it hard to find a place in Japan to watch the thing live.  You can watch it like 7 hours later on some stations but lord is it hard to watch it live.  OK the Steelers lost  but it’s OK they still have more rings.  Although if they did get a seventh I could make a Lord of the Rings joke.  Granted I would have to hope there is enough crossover between Nerds and football fans that anyone would get it but I would still do it anyway.  Of course I could still make a joke since the Packers can now say they’re the Elf Kings but I wanted the Dwarf Lords joke, and I should just stop right now…

In news you may already know they cancelled “Caprica”.  Fuck you guys, seriously fuck you.  Yeah I’m late but I watch things after I can get it or rent it on DVD or Blue-Ray.  If was a good show but the ending was rushed.   Mostly because you fucks cancelled it!

I have recently found out that Bruce Lee was part German.  Apparently his mom was half German.  Is this important?  Not really, but interesting.

Speaking of Bruce Lee I like this quote from him:

“Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it”

The greatest thing Metallica ever did was throw Dave Mustaine out of the band.  If they hadn’t we wouldn’t have Megadeth.  It was also the dumbest thing they ever did because really Metallica sucks and hasn’t even pretended to write a good album in 20 years.   Megadeth on the other hand is still one of the greatest bands ever.

So the other day someone broke into a house and then when the owner returned while they were there they get scared and lock themselves in the bathroom and call the police.  Seriously the guy way afraid the owner of the house had a gun and might hurt them so they called the police for help.  The fucked up thing is that the homeowner called the police at the same time so you had one 911 operator talking to the perp and one talking to the victim.  The criminal didn’t even know if the homeowner had a gun he was just afraid they might.  So afraid he called the police (the people going to take him to jail) to save him.   If that isn’t a case for gun ownership I don’t know what is.  I also wish I had been that 911 operator that took the call.  I would have seriously told the guy I hope the homeowner does have a gun and blows his fucking head off right before I hung up.

And now time for something completely different:

The Middle East is burning, I’m trying to care.  Really I hope something good comes out of all the revolutions and protests but it’s been so, so very long that anything good came out of the Middle East that I’m really just not that hopeful over the whole thing.

Radiation levels in Tokyo have recently risen to the level of “Still Not Anywhere Close To What You Got From That X-ray At The Dentist Last Week” (that is the official scientific term for the current levels).  Please continue to freak the fuck out.  I’ll say it like this.  If you spend the entire day outside you will be exposed to the same amount of radiation you get in a 6 hour flight.  You don’t spend 24 hours a day outside and you don’t hear about airline pilots mutating into monsters or dying or radiation poisoning every 5 seconds so please continue to freak the fuck out.

Click to enlarge.

Thank you xkcd

Seriously, nothing good can ever come from large amounts of alcohol and your ex.

I hate it here…

* The use of the word “famous” may or may not be an outright lie.

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